Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Wisdom For The Not Yet Married

“By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so too.” – 1 Corinthians 7:40 (MSG)


I read this verse when I was studying my Bible and I wanted to burst out laughing!

What does Paul mean?

Just let some ladies who have been waiting to get married for ages catch him

Or even sef, let me read that passage of the Bible at a time when I just got back from a beautiful wedding with an amazing love story…

Or let me read it at a time when I am ovulating and my sexual feelings are at an all time high…. You say what??? Jesus would prefer that I stay single?

Pray tell me why?????…

Lol, the things we do and imagine when we read the Word of God… It’s so sweet you know, that’s why I miss #OnlineBibleStudy so much but I am deviating from the topic, lets go back to it…

So please why would Paul have such effrontery to say Jesus would prefer us single? And if you read the whole passage, he actually sees a lot of good things in the single life… A lot of things that most of us don’t see or we see them but struggle to accept same.


I contributed to BellaNaija 2015 epilouges and some of the words in the epilouges made me want to cry.. I totally understood them though and simply wanted to hug them, tell them we are in this together and then show them some truth…

Why would you call your single hood a miserable, lonely, frustrated life… When someone else is having the time of their lives milking the SEASON of all it has for them.

It’s just a season you know… A phase before the next. Uhum, yes. If you know in your heart that you’re not called to the single life, then God’s got your spouse for you… You’d surely get to the next phase in God’s own time (we have discussed on the subject of timing in our ladies group in ‘The Women At The Well)


So how’s a single person in her/his waiting period meant to see all these benefits that makes Paul think that even because of those benefits, God would prefer us single (this still makes me smile as I imagine reactions and faces as they read this.hehe)

How can they see and live out these benefits, maximizing single hood even if their waiting season spans on for a while…

What’s the difference between those who are single and perpetually have joy radiating through them and those who go through a year grumbling and telling God that He’s late in settling them maritally (which He never is)…

What’s the difference between that single person who is going all out in purpose and the one who’s just simply cowering under the weight of ‘I must have no value if I am not joined to anyone’.


You must understand that we aren’t making single hood an idol as If you read 1Corinthians 7, you will see that it’s good to be married and I look forward to it… But we are simply saying, how can one step into all the benefits of the single stage before the married stage?

How do I live out my full colours in a way that when I get married, I know that nothing is left for me to do in single hood?

How do we maximize this stage of single hood?

Trust me, you can be 30 and yearning to be married but God’s just like ‘ why is she throwing away all these years I have given to her to maximize and bring awesome glory to my name? Why? Why?’


On Saturday January 30th 2016, ‘The Women At The Well’ will be having our first meet this year and the theme is ‘Wisdom for the not yet married’.

The meet will hold in Lagos….


What is it in this stage that God has for us that we aren’t seeing/ laying hold of?

How can we do so?

We can only get answers at the well…from Jesus and that’s what we will be doing that day.

Personally, I want to milk this season of all God has for me in it, my single days are soooo numbered. Doesn’t make sense to waste them… Anyone with me on this?

It’s going to be amazing I know!

After our sitting and sharing, we would also be watching Kendrick brothers latest movie ‘WAR ROOM’…. So think godly girls gathered in Jesus, and add a movie date complete with some popcorn and all… I tell you, even I am looking forward to that day… I am revved up to ‘receive’!


If this looks like something you’d be interested in, comment below or send me a mail at

I have already shared this with my email list, just wanted to throw it open to all and invite everyone.

I would compile the emails and send you venue and time on Monday…

And oh, before anyone gets this wrongly, its a Hangout for ladies alone ohh… Sorry guys. Hehe


So holla and let me know yes?

With this event eh, me… I know, the pining and confusion of the past is relegated to a very deep pit…


We would also be accepting new members into the ‘Women At The Well’ group after the meet and this is just simply a springing up of women filled in and with Jesus… Radiating beauty from within… Filled with wisdom… Pillars in where ever they are…

Something is brewing sisters…. I tell you, it is!

So I will see you guys next week Saturday at the meet 🙂

And invite everyone.






P:S- For everyone who’s been looking for me wit torchlight… I am fine ohhhh… I just went hibernating for a bit, I will be back fully next week with plans for the blog for the year and get writing for Jesus ministry STARTED.

I miss you all too, as I sat up to write this morning, it felt odd… Like last time I did this was almost 3 weeks back… But being away was worth it. Yes, so worth it.

Miss me some more, I will be back soon. Hehe.



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  • Reply
    January 23, 2016 at 11:57 am

    Lol! Just when I thought you were back. You will be queried if you are not fully back next week.

    I totally agree with your post today. Stop focusing so much on finding a guy that you forget yourself. Forgetting yourself is basically all the amazing things you can do as a single person. And really, focus on purpose. I am telling you, it will be easier to find your man when you are walking in purpose cAuse God will hook you up with a man that is also walking in purpose. The kind of purpose that aligns with yours.

    Bless your heart Frances. I am still going to send you a mail about a series I want to start on my blog.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      January 25, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      Hehe Mayowa, don’t flog me ehhh…

      And #purpose! Mhen! Huge topic on its own… actually thought that that was what God wanted me to focus on and speak on during the meet but no, there’s something we should be doing that’s even more important than #purpose… *shock*! yes, e shock me too….

  • Reply
    January 24, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    You are right dear.
    We have to maximize single hood now. No coming back to single hood once we are married. So let’s enjoy all the benefits both mentally and physically.
    We have time for ourselves to discover More about our purpose and there is the solitude.
    when sexual urge comes now, I console myself with the fact that when I marry, there are times I will tell hubby no because of tiredness, so need to be in a

    • Reply
      January 24, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      * no need*

      • Reply
        Frances Okoro
        January 25, 2016 at 10:13 pm

        Ah thanks Esther! That strategy would really work to stay chaste sexually ohh..why rush? That time we’d be the ones saying no… funny how this life goes…satan just dangles stuff in front of peeps and make himself (not us) fall…

        And yes, yes! I pray for enlightened eyes to see and use this single season for what it’s meant for in Jesus name, amen!

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