'Where Are The Men Series' #Purposeful Living

‘Where Are The Men’ Series || The Family Dynamics

Since I started working on “Prayers For Your Future Husband”, I have been awakened in a whole new way to the cracks that have been left by men in today’s world.

This series was triggered out of the need for men to rise up and take their place in the things of God. I remember I and Bolaji were discussing that particular day on her book when ‘where are the men’ popped up. The series popped up for her to share on it and she wrote on it on her blog  (you should totally check out Redefined Masculinity on B’s blog).

I wasn’t going to write on this at all, but I got thinking about the void and the next thing my fingers were typing.

Perhaps if we lend our voices in unison to this, maybe just one man out there would be helped God willing.

I was worried about the lack of men in ministry but now I am worried about the lack of men in the home – which is their very first ministry.


As I worked on my book, it suddenly dawned on me that there is a new method satan uses to draw men away from the family now. It is called “I am the provider for the home”.

Most men stay away from their homes and children with the excuse that they have to work to fend for the needs for their family.

This is true but when your work for the home results in you not even knowing your children, then you also have fallen into the subtle trap of satan.


there is a new method satan uses to draw men away from the family now. Click To Tweet


So many young girls have fallen into the schemes of the enemy because of the “daddy complex”.

Boys have been led to do terrible things all in the bid to gain approval from their parents.

You know, daddy isn’t at home and so somehow the kids think that it is because of them that daddy stays away so much, so perhaps if they can get his attention, he would come home and be with them.

So sad.


“Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder.
Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night.”

-Deutoronomy 11:18&19


I first took note of the above passage in Bro Gbile’s book “Dignity of manhood”.

Look at the way God admonished the fathers to raise their children with his word.

But He didn’t say that they were to do this in a dictatorial way.

He said “talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street…”

Obviously God must have assumed that the father would be one who stays at home with his children, enough to teach them about the word of God.

And not in a dictatorial way but in a loving way, while walking with them in the street, taking a stroll with the kids or just relaxing in the home.

How may fathers can testify to having these kind of times with their children?

Even worse is the fact that the young men are just about getting ready to tow the way of the older generation.


Our young men now only attend business meetings.

What about mentorship meetings on how to be a great father and husband?

Why is there such little interest in these things?

I don’t have the complete answers but I do know that fatherhood like the way God intended it is under serious attack.


fatherhood like the way God intended it to be is under serious attack. Click To Tweet


And how do we counter it?


First by knowing that we are under attack.

Secondly by repenting and casting aside our old way of doing things.

Thirdly, by coming to God in sincerity of heart: “Father teach me how to be a man, a husband, a father after your very heart” and be intentional about learning as He teaches you.

Ask for wisdom and ask for grace.

Determine to not go the way of the world. Let your kids not be led astray just because you didn’t have it in you to be a family man.

God can help you even now.


Let’s pray (sisters also say a word of prayer for our men):

Lord I thank you for making me a man after your own heart.

I confess that I falter in a lot of ways and have the wrong mindset about a lot of things. Please help me Lord, teach me your ways. Give me wisdom on how to wield spiritual authority like you want me to wield.

Help me to be a man who takes my rightful place in the home.

Create in me a heart that loves like you do… help me to work from even right now to be a husband and father that draws on what he does from you.

When you ask ‘where are the men’, Lord may you find me. In Jesus name I have prayed, amen.


If you have any tips on how to be a father after God’s own heart or books our men can read, please feel free to share in the comment section below.


Next week just may be the last episode in this series.

Till then,

Remember today is a great day to become progressively like Christ Jesus.





My new book “prayers for your future husband” is a collection of prayers for “the one whose name you don’t know”.

We cannot just complain about our men, we must help in the only way that is sure to change their lives; in prayer.

Our brothers and husbands are among these men and the sooner we really start praying for them, the sooner we can help them step into God’s plan for their lives.

There is a great deal if you pre-order on or before 31st January 2017.

You actually get the book as a FREE GIFT when you pre-order.

For more details, see HERE


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