Tosin Eyebiokin-Olugbade: Are Men Of Virtue All Extinct?

AJ BLACK

RE: ARE MEN OF VIRTUE ALL EXTINCT?
You wrote:
“All men were created to cheat. It’s in their nature!”
“I think this statement is half true”.

Unfortunately I find that I am sympathetic to the position above and I am a man who hates infidelity in men, whether in courtship or marriage. It is not that I don’t know virtuous men. In fact I have the privilege of having the acquaintance of Christian men whose lifestyles I know well enough to be able to vouch for their virtue.

I have experienced so much male unfaithfulness at close quarters that I agree that infidelity is not a respecter of faiths. Like you said, a lot of Christians- to my thinking, too many of them- live promiscuous lives as bachelors and fail to respect the sanctity of the marital bed. Christianity does little to deter them- the instances you cited are so familiar- I have a lot of similar examples at home.

My first addition to the discussion is that we really should not be surprised by what is happening. As John Whitney said, “The church is full of powerful men…….., but how many of them are true Christians?” The unfortunate truth is that the church as we know it today is not predominantly Christian. I have done my share of wandering and I have experienced many a Christian church. The fruits I have seen are suggestive of the pit and fire; not the winepress. (Mathew 7: 15- 23; 2 Thess 2: 1-5) Not only on the issue at hand is this the case, the falling away from the way while still bearing the name of Christ has become the acceptable way of practicing Christianity. One gets a distinct impression that Christians, collectively and individually, are taking God for a ride- mocking Him (Gal 6:7). One is reminded of the words of the prophet that on the day of pruning, the sword of the Lord’s anger will begin from within the temple.

My next impression is closely allied to the first. Granted, a lot of good sisters who honestly get involved with wolves they honestly take for sheep. However, a lot of the cases of infidelity that I have experienced in the body of Christ involve sisters who are implicated in the conspiracy to hoodwink God. I’ve had cause to ask many a sister, “If you slept with your man severally before you married him, then how exactly do you figure that his Christianity will keep him faithful to you since your Christianity wasn’t enough to keep you from committing fornication?” “The sin of fornication is just as sinful as that of adultery and will kill a Christian just as dead –the player brothers understand this, but the sisters choose not to-so how honest is the sister who tells me she felt it was different committing fornication with her beau since they were planning to get married-that God will understand?” Sometimes this sister commits fornication with several brothers, because such relationships founded on sin and falsehood under the cover of the temple usually crumble before getting to the altar.

My take is that if you are dealing with God, then you are going into a contractual relationship with him and I always tell my sisters that God has already made His terms known. If you say you are contracting with Him, the assumption is that you have accepted His conditions. Now if you do not keep those conditions, you are in breach and have vitiated the contract. God is not liable for anything and should not be joined in any suit!
I always tell my ‘girlfriends’, “Make good use of your courtship. Talk about everything and anything. Insist on knowing because our faith does not allow us a second chance. You have to make sure that you believe in the same things as this fellow. The fold today is still a sheep pen, but the flock is predominantly goat.”

I have had to live through the pain of seeing very good women that I know end up with men of very little quality. In some of the instances, there were early warning signs. What I have come to realize is that there is an absence in my sisters. There is an incompleteness in their faith-their trust. They do not fully agree with God’s template. They make certain things a priority above the core issue – the spiritual state of one’s mate. Once this happens, one is liable to end up with a polygamous Christian.

I know there are very virtuous Christian men. I have the privilege of knowing some of them. Christians do a lot of very unchristian things. The games that guys play; girls now play equally well. The climate of promiscuity in the church is of our making and serious work needs to be done in cleaning up our thinking and living as Christians- the church as a whole falls short.