To My Single Ladies…

I saw this yesterday….

“So yesterday I met this girl who was so bitter &full of complaints over not having a Val on Valentine’s Day. I looked@her &said, You don’t have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day, so what? Some people don’t have a mother on Mother’s Day, a father on Father’s Day, or their siblings on Christmas. They didn’t cry to the world over it. Get a life &stop fussing over a man when you are a complete entity on your own.That wasn’t a bad answer was it? LOL”

I also saw Femmetotale’s comment on her blog for me to do a post on how my valentine celebration went and voila! I had an idea on how the post should go…

Dear answerer to the above question, I love your no-nonsense answer but I think your answer wasn’t detailed enough. It should have gone like this…

I know an amazing lady, her name Is Frances Okoro, a single lady such as yourself with no ‘Val’ so to speak of.

On Friday February 14th, her valentine gift from her school was an impromptu test, a kind of mock bar exam. You see, she’s a legal practitioner in the making currently in law school.

Afterwards, she went for a Valentine dinner organized by Redeem Church close to her school.DSC_2849

She had an awesome time with multiple course meals, small chops, drinks, juice, cake…she’s on a journey to lose weight but lay aside her weight loss goals for now, and it was Valentine ’s Day anyway so bring the cheat day on.

She got priceless advice from pastors as regards relationships and chatted with a great married lady called Aunty Meg who even gave her examples from her own marriage.

And her valentine things didn’t end on Friday o. On Saturday she visited two homes for the less privileged with her fellow law school students, something she had been working on for a while.

She believes the valentine thingy shouldn’t be celebrated only among the husbands/boyfriends but the love should spread to all.


She had an awesome time blessing other lives with the love of God in her, letting her light shine to others other than a val.

On Sunday morning, she had a glorious time in God’s presence in DCC, with PK dishing out the word for both singles and married folks alike. Ah! Twas an awesome time with the word! Storing true words from God in her in preparation for the great marital life in the future…


And oh, did I mention that she did a blog giveaway where the gift was a ticket to the movies and then she “somehow” won two tickets from Tripican to see a movie of her choice?Lagos-20140216-02297Lagos-20140216-02316Lagos-20140216-02329Lagos-20140216-02271-1

See how wide her smile was? She had fun with her girlfriend, girls night out like no other…

So what’s stopping you from doing the same?

O single lady, stop letting the pressure of Val this and that get to you.

Shebi Valentine things has ended?

But you still live your life bemoaning the fact that the oga hasn’t arrived…

Look inward, there’s a lot you can do to make you a complete and fulfilled woman before he arrives.

Why are you still pinning? Take a cue from Frances, let the love you placed on reserve for only your Val spread to others like the akara seller on your street, the boy with a tray of orange on his head… 20140215_125438

Whatever good you show to them will forever speak on your behalf.

Have you discovered your purpose in life?

What about your education? Your career? Your business? Are you putting in the work to make it succeed?

Is your spiritual life where you want it to be?

Why don’t you start working on it right now? God is itching to be your Val just like He is one to Frances.

You know, it’s not hard to be a complete person in yourself without the one o, and the truth is, you actually need to be complete in you before you can complement another.Work towards it with the time you have right now, inculcate good and godly virtues for the future right now.

Singlehood is a phase in life, one which if you don’t make optimal use of, you lose valuable lessons.

Go out, have fun, dress up just because, look good just cause you feel like it-a time will come when the babies won’t let you have enough time for yourself. Let your light shine even without “the man”3

Read this post to get more insight on this

and if you need to, get in touch with Frances and ask her how she does it, here’s her email address,

I’m sure she’ll let you in on the secret. Although, she says there’s no big secret o, just wrap yourself in God and you’ll be a complete, happy, and fulfilled lady in Him and yes, even without a man.

And hiya, here’s Frances herself.

Final words?

Just one, my mantra for now…

”Let it be known that I was the lady that so squeezed out everything singlehood/life had to offer, singlehood/life itself knew that I owed them nothing, absolutely nothing when I left them behind”




PS: kai! I actually climbed to the rooftop of my hostel , a 4storey building,+ endured a ‘somehow’ conversation from one guy(story is on my twitter timeline, pls, do follow me @Elegant_frances by the way) + mosquitos just to put up this post.. See how much I heart you all? *muah muah*

Have a blessed week.

(Visited 112 times, 1 visits today)

You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    Bella Mayei
    February 17, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Awww…A far far better response
    Every girl needs to read this
    I will love to meet this Frances sha 😀
    She totally rocked her weekend.
    You didn’t drop your twitter handle.

    • Reply
      February 17, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      hehe Bella, had no option but to rock it..
      and edited now, handle’s on, and its also on the widget on the right side on my blog..
      btw, do share and let the word spread to our fellow ladies..*muah muah*
      And a meet? sure sure, soon soon, I am already picturing it in my mind’s eye.*smiles*

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      seen you..D;

  • Reply
    February 17, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Awesome post. A time will come when you will miss girls night out etc, so better enjoy while it last. A very sunny character this Frances, pleasedont allow marriage to change you in the future.

    • Reply
      February 17, 2014 at 11:17 pm

      Naija mum, I am soooo enjoying it now
      and funny, last week , I was actually jumping in public, happy about something and the thought that came to my mind was ‘may I not change in the future o, I still want to be as happy, free and joyful as I am now, free spirit like a little kid, able to enjoy the little things of life like being able to borrow a tab for pictures like I was that day..
      I know God has got it covered though, I will marry a man that will add positive(s) and not subtract from who I am..

      • Reply
        February 18, 2014 at 9:47 am

        I say amen to that for you. A man that will compliment, appreciate and add to you.

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:08 pm

      amen and amen. thank you so much Naija mum

  • Reply
    1 + The One
    February 18, 2014 at 9:26 am

    I loved this post! You go girl! You make a decision as to how you handle each phase of your life by God’s grace! I bet you had more fun over the weekend than some people with ‘Vals’ lol xx

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      1+…hehe, I did try to enjoy it o, val or no val, aint nobody gat time to pine around, life awaits and God awaits us to still manifest His glory to the world. xoxo

  • Reply
    February 18, 2014 at 9:27 am

    I like your story.
    If you don’t learn to honour and celebrate yourself, no one else would.
    Good men are attracted to women who honour themselves.
    I also like the outfit you had on-white top, black skirt and red shoes-especially the shoes. And you look good in jeans.
    I don’t know about ‘losing weight’, but you look good, unless things have drastically changed since you took those pictures.
    Were some of those pictures taken at ikeja mall?

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Sir Praisegeorge! always one to leave words of wisdom, thank you sir.
      and no o, things haven’t changed drastically since Sunday, I just have a dream to get to my goal weight and dream has to be fulfilled…
      The last pictures were at shoprite Lekki.. and thank you thank you for the compliments…*blushing blushing, smiles smiles*

  • Reply
    February 18, 2014 at 11:18 am

    Go Frances Go!
    You definitely aren’t shying away from shining.
    Keep it up o!

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      by God’s grace, I will keep shinning..
      remember your post on us shinning forth light? one of the scripture you quoted was 2cor 3;18 and it has stuck with me….the Lord will make us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image. no room for our light going dim, we can get brighter in Christ and through Christ.

  • Reply
    February 18, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    ah ahn…this shall be a serious something o. lool, all this happiness and joy.. Ojare!! it’s good.
    I just feel the Valentine’s thing is over-hyped jor.. I mean seriously. What are we really celebrating that day in this loveless world? Love or lust? Every day of our lives, we should be showing love to others, all around us. Let the love of Christ keep shining through us and let others see that Christ makes us complete.

    You really look like one of my family friends, and someone I knew in school back then 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. Keep glowing babe!

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      yes glowing scenes, I totally agree, love should be shown to all around us on and beyond feb 14th. should be on everyday of our lives through Christ who is Love himself..
      and weird, I’ve had two people tell me and even almost swear they saw me on stage participating in the mock court setting we had in class today. they said the person looked soo much like me and here you are saying the same thing. say hello to your family friend for me, nice to know I have many twinnies in different
      thanks dear..and btw, I still don’t get notifications of your new posts..

  • Reply
    February 18, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Wow! You really had a fun filled val. Yes dear, “singlehood” is but a transitional stage; if not relished, a time will come when you will miss being single. God will surely bless your kind heart for visiting the home. Keep up the good work.

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      thank you Catherine. and I pray it doesn’t end here, I pray the visits and love will continue to floe through me(us) and let the love of Christ in us not be limited to only some FEW certain persons..
      and singlehood? I must to use it well. lol

  • Reply
    February 18, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Yes o! Rock well. You won’t miss being single if u maximise it. As for changing when u marry, never fear. I didn’t, I doubt u will. I still giggle like a silly girl n recently, I met some ladies married 10 years n more. They were so young at heart. The secret is the Holy Spirit. You can’t befriend him n be a sourpuss. But then I’m sure u know. Winks

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 11:37 pm

      Dr N, words of wisdom dropped again and you know how I am with them, I take them seriously. thanks ma’am
      yes, I do believe I wont turn into a frustrated, unhappy wife, lai lai, the Christian mentors I see married and happy at heart don’t have two heads, its the same God we serve. thanks, I fear not, its alllll settled! Holy Spirit is working already sef..

    • Reply
      February 18, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      +the joy that The Holy Spirit gives, nothing can change it..

  • Reply
    February 19, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I love this post! The bubbly excitement of your day is practically infectious. I wonder why people get so worried on Val’s day, more than any other day cos of their lack of spouses. Dear single lady, everything is not about u… pls focus ur energy on other more productive things like Frances here. I didn’t have a val on val’s day either but I spent my evening at a dinner having fun (or wait…I had an acting val that day …. hehehehe 🙂 ) bottomline is I made sure I had fun. Sorry I couldn’t borrow a tab to take pictures…lol

    • Reply
      February 19, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      looollll, femmetotale, you nor borrow tab like me but so far say you had a great time, no wahala. *D:

  • Reply
    Ugochi Jolomi
    February 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I love the way you spread your joy, very contagious!!! Keep up with this and you will know no limits! Have a super blessed day!

    • Reply
      February 19, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      by God’s grace I will keep it up Aunty Ugochi.
      *smiles and much love…

  • Reply
    February 19, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    hello frances. I’m sure you’ve seen the subscription thing. I had to help you do it since you complained on my blog about it. I hope you don’t mind…

    hugs…Cheers to more writing days, weeks and years…wink**

    • Reply
      February 19, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      I’ve seen the subscription to your blog. ahn ahn, don’t mind at all and super appreciate! at last I can get updates. thanks dearie..*muah muah*

  • Reply
    Yours Truly
    February 21, 2014 at 12:03 am

    I’m so happy you shared this because I don’t understand why some people moan about not having a ‘val’ on Valentines day. Like you wrote earlier, ‘some people don’t have a mother on mothers’, and they are cool. Some girls think having a man is a do or die affair. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have a man, but, the world iosn’t going to end if you don’t have one. Instead of complaining, why not focus on other things – Even if you have a man, he isn’t your everything (you can still do other things). Biko, tell them, Frances. Btw, I can see you had so much fun, and those red shoes are gorgeous. Thanks so very much girl, and may the good Lord bless you as you bless others.

    • Reply
      February 22, 2014 at 12:37 am

      yours truly, *hugs hugs*. thanks for the compliments.
      and you are so right, its lovely to have a man, sweet too, God himself wants us to have a man but should a girl kill herself or place her life on hold when he hasn’t arrived? def no. lets live our lives, live our single lives well and true, singlehood will be sorry to see us

  • Reply
    March 5, 2014 at 11:07 am

    I really love this.
    Keep glowing girl.there is more to life than Val’s or finding “the man”. So many people spend so much waking hours chasing “mr right” that they completely forget who they are and that’s when such relationships start crumbling.
    You obviously had a lot of fun. You go girl.

  • Reply
    November 14, 2014 at 11:31 am

    “Lets live our lives well and singleness will be sorry to see us go”….I got that starting from now…:-)
    I love thiss..thanks for sharing

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 17, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      Mizraph, I am mega glad you are inspired to use your singlehood for good.
      Keep shining babes!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: