I could have easily ignored all urge to pen these concerns of mine, besides I have been reputed to be a lazy writer, but this time around I had to fight all odds to have this written.
Children, I know have their challenges,but I wouldn’t have been more bittered when I had a platform to speak to them on career and academics and could visibly see through their naÃ¯ve face – kids who have been starved of proper parental upbringing,kids who are sheer victim of parents who think procreation without nurture is no torture(pun intended).
Could these kids be serving as specimen for ascertaining their reproductive ability?
I am enraged,irked,agitated and devastated because the wanton and unchecked failure of our family structures which are saddled with the prime responsibilty of grooming the children would only add to the problems plaguing our societal existence and wellbeing.
I have not fathered any child,and I don’t think I need to father one before I can tell of what proper parenting should look like.
Like a shepherd is to his sheep,parenting simply contemplates protection,counsel,guidiance and what have you.Some parents may need to be reminded of these roles.
Conversing with those secondary students who flocked in their numbers to ask heart to heart questions bothering them almost led me into pool of tears.Some don’t see their parents as one who they run to to seek counsel anymore,these kids now assume they could face the world head on unaided and accept what’s comes before them.
I began to ask myself what then is the joy of procreation if parent’s neglect of their God given duty has only made our incoming generation an endangered one?
A child who speaks with jittery belief of what his or her future holds should bother our nation.
A child who has a battered picture of her purpose should raise questions about our decaying and Â extincting family values and ethos.
This anomaly begs several questions…
What is the present realities of our family institution in our nation?
Has the economic hardship or parental ignorance plunged our family units into playing the ostrich over the sensitive needs of these kids? Or is it a case of the proverbial bad workers blaming the tools for their poor delivery?
I agree that resources are needed in ensuring proper children upbringing,but that doesn’t excuse parents from the responsiblity of checking on the mental and psyschological,emotional needs of their children or wards.
Most parents no longer spend time with their kids to know issues facing them,they even fail to teach their kids sexual education on the lame guise that it may bring some undesirable repercussion.
The account of one sixteen year old girl during a secondary school Â sensitization program was so sensational that I was moved to tears.
Darasimi, out of family economic hardship was taken out to serve as a maid to a distant relation.Darasimi fought her tears while she recounted to me how she was being maltreated,mentally- dociled and that she has little or no time to read her books.The house chores is so choking that the only time she has for herself is just between the hours of 12 to 4am everyday.
She further enthused that when she beckons on her biological parents to help her situation,they either ignore her or tell her to forbear.
She has been on this pathetic deprivation for 4years now and she fears it would not end anytime soon.
Nevertheless,these situations are not basket cases that are beyond redemption.
The family institutions needs to step up to the plate and help our ailing nation,the strength of a nation is in direct proportion to the strength of its families.
Our family values needs to resuscitated and strengthened.
Parents/guardians need to be reminded and sensitized that they play a earthly Godly role in the life of their kids, they need to be told again that parenting goes beyond having their kids in school, they need to stop overworking the schools with certain roles only them can teach.
They need to help build the fledgling and fragile characters of their kids,build confidence in them,give them proper life exposure,probe them to elicits answers from them,ask about the kind of company they keep,know their friends,help allay their fears and agitations,guide them in the choice of their careers,help grow their relationship with God and share a friend to friend regular conversation with them.
The greatest asset any child can have is parental care without more.
Another cause for worry is the educational institutions.
The schools hold a prominent role in the socialization and nurturing of the Nigerian child.
Their functions goes beyond competing with other schools to round off the school curriculum and seting examinations.The school should also take keen interest in the all round development of the Nigerian child.
Most public schools have figure headed counsellors who do little or nothing about the concerns of these students.They fail to realise that they share in the total formation of the kids with the teachers.
The teachers are not also excluded from these indictments.They have to take these kids to heart like the way they would nurture their biological kids,they need to see themselves as role models and mentors to these kids.
The public schools need to be equipped with facilities,trained and committed manpower who are passionate about the all round development of the students.
The school environment should be landscaped to enhance proper learning conditions,promote close monitoring of the psychological,emotional state of mind these students and what have you, else our schools would become a burgeoning factory for churning out quasi- schooled vagabonds into our already polluted communities.
Nwabuzor Fumnanya Daniel is a young Nigerian lawyer who is passionate about being a leading voice in his generation. He is presently undergoing his national service in Ekiti State.
Twitter: @Nwabuzor fumnanya
Facebook:Citizen Dandified Dan
It’s Frances here.
I try as much as possible not to add anything to the guest posts we have on the blog but I just thought to add that Daniel was one of the speakers at our last awakening youths events.
He was so touched by some stuff we saw at the School, so much so that I told him to put it into words.
I hope this awakens us all to the truth… The truth that the younger generation needs us.
They need their parents…
These words from Dan struck me- “the strength of a nation is in direct proportion to the strength of its families.”
My dad used to say that families and mothers must get it right in their own corners and not blame the Government for their own failures.
This is a lesson for me for the future.
These kids also need their teachers and even corpers who have been posted to schools can make better impact than I who only hold seminars in Schools once a month.
If one seminar could help these kids, then imagine what you being there everyday for one year can do.
I read one article on a blog yesterday saying that NYSC is a wasted year and I was just so sad.
Most of these articles that lambaste NYSC are from foreign trained Nigerians. Why can’t we open our eyes to see the opportunities we have been given to impact lives positively?
We should go to these schools and see kids that need corpers with good heads on their shoulders.
Those corpers who have been posted to Schools have been given one golden year to sow good seeds in the hearts of the kids that will listen. We can chose to use the year for good instead of complaining and writing silly things.
God bless us all as we help to groom these kids-Nigerian kids(for now), one at a time.
You can read about the first awakening youths event at the secondary school here if you missed it.
AmakaMarch 13, 2015 at 12:40 pm
My dear, I couldn’t agree more with this post. God has great concerns for the family this season. The enemy is fighting the homes at every angle. Parents, pastors, elders, children and everyone should be on guard. We shall overcome!
I wrote an article on marriage too: http://amakamedia.blogspot.com/2015/03/2-truths-about-marriage.html
May God keep and guide our decisions.
Frances OkoroMarch 13, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Yes Amaka..the family is God’s first port of call in building generations for Him.
Prayerfully and hopefully, we will get things right and not let satan just “yeye” this amazing institution created by God for good.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your link, I read it and totally agree with your views.
God’s will should be followed in this all important aspect of our lives-marriage,relationships…anything outside of it spells trouble for us.
FeminineMarch 13, 2015 at 4:15 pm
This article really got to me,very insightful it is. Weldone…
Frances OkoroMarch 13, 2015 at 7:49 pm
It is indeed insightful…hopefully we’ll take the lessons to heart.
nwabuzor fumnanya danielMarch 13, 2015 at 9:27 pm
@amaka,you totally right dear,its good to know someone somewhere still shares a similar opinion of sensitive issues such as this@feminine,good to have you read this.
My apologies for the unforgivable grammatical errors dear readers. Remember I said am a lazy writer,with probably lazy editors too. LMAO#
Frances OkoroMarch 14, 2015 at 12:18 pm
Grammatical errors Dan?
Thank you for sending in, I learnt a lot from this for my future home.
We take so many things for granted and this shouldn’t include the lives of the Children that God has placed in our hands.
graciemamaMarch 15, 2015 at 2:49 am
Really insightful…The family unit has really been attacked by the devil. If only people valued their families and make these kids feel loved. A lot of awful stories that we hear these days will be reduced.
What will it profit a parent who gains the whole world and has no time for the kids?
It amazes me how people just bring kids into the world without no plan on how to take proper care of them financially and emotionally. God bless the parents who are doing things rights and direct these kids.
Frances OkoroMarch 15, 2015 at 1:23 pm
Amen and amen Gracie.
It’s also great that we who don’t have kids are knowing this now so we can take heed.
Take heed and put the good lessons into practice for the future.
I pray more parents retrace their steps and make changes as needed. The future generation is dependent on this truth.
CYRIL-ELJuly 31, 2015 at 9:28 am
Barr. Frances Okoro.
Barr. Nwanbuzor Daniel,
I must say thank you for this life changing write up, it has awakened that burning desire to positively impact my nation and the world at large.
GOD BLESS YOU.
Frances OkoroAugust 4, 2015 at 12:05 am
That’s amazing Cryril…go and work with that passion in your heart-light up your world and impact lives positively while at it…