Ten Recommendations For The Still Single Person

I’m not sure why, but I am asking myself “how can we make sure marriage doesn’t become an idol in this season?”

In my own heart… and also in the church?

Why do single people feel left out of an “exclusive club” that’s the preserve of the married?

Now I say this in full cognizance that God doesn’t discount our desires. In fact if there is anything I have learnt from the Lord in recent times, it is that God is the one who actually puts desires in our hearts. If I want to be married, God is the one who put the desire there and it is because He wants to bring it to pass.
But at the same time, I don’t want to feel as though, because I am not yet married, then something is missing from my life or I I handicapped in some way.

This is the whole crux of balancing the desires for marriage God placed there and not making it an idol we worship. God is helping us.

Today though, I felt to write a post to my fellow singles just sharing ideas on how you can spend today.

I listened to Ana Werner share of a time when the Lord had her wake up and go into the woods on Valentine’s day to celebrate her marriage with him. And till this day (she is now married with children) but she still celebrates Valentine’s day as the day of her marriage with the Lord.

This Valentine day can carry heavy weight in your life’s journey even as a single person. Do not discount it.

Here are ten ways you can spend today:

1: Spend a lot of time time Jesus:
If there is anything that can help anyone really, not just a single person, it is to anchor our hearts on the Lord.
I am so grateful that the Lord taught me this during years 2014-2015, where, every time I felt anxious about something, sad, depressed etc, I wouldn’t run away from the Lord, I’d run to Him. I’d shut down my phones and spend time in prayer and worship and the word, or just talk to Him telling Him how I felt. This has always anchored my heart on the Lord and I believe it would do the same for you.

2: Ask God questions

‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’
-Jeremiah 33:3 NKJV

You can ask God questions. Ask Him about the things you are confused about. The areas about your singlehood that doesn’t make sense to you. The break up you didn’t expect, the hurts you haven’t healed from..  ask Him questions about them all. And He says He would answer. It may not be answers we like to hear but God promises that when you ask me, I would answer and speak to you in return. So watch out for those answers.

3: Ask Him About Your Future:


“But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future]. He will honor and glorify Me, because He will take of (receive, draw upon) what is Mine and will reveal (declare, disclose, transmit) it to you. Everything that the Father has is Mine. That is what I meant when I said that He [the Spirit] will take the things that are Mine and will reveal (declare, disclose, transmit) it to you.”
-John 16:13‭-‬15 AMPC

Ask the Holy Spirit about your future marriage, your future home, your children, etc. Let Him give you revelation light about the future you are going into. So you don’t walk in blindly. So you know for what cause God is placing a home in your hands.

4: Ask For New Visions:

Ask the Lord if there is anything you can do for Him in this season of your life. Any assignments. Any Visions He wants you to implement for Him. In prayer and conversation with Him, let Him know you are an ass He can ride on and use when He has need of you.

“When He had said this, He went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. And it came to pass, when He drew near to Bethphage and Bethany, at the mountain called Olivet, that He sent two of His disciples, saying, “Go into the village opposite you, where as you enter you will find a colt tied, on which no one has ever sat. Loose it and bring it here. And if anyone asks you, ‘Why are you loosing it?’ thus you shall say to him, ‘Because the Lord has need of it.’ ” So those who were sent went their way and found it just as He had said to them. But as they were loosing the colt, the owners of it said to them, “Why are you loosing the colt?” And they said, “The Lord has need of him.” Then they brought him to Jesus. And they threw their own clothes on the colt, and they set Jesus on him.”
-Luke 19:28‭-‬35 NKJV

Let the Lord Jesus know you are a donkey He can ride on when He has need of you.
Let Him tell you if He has new assignments for you to do, new places to go. Ask Him to clarify your assignment and sharpen your calling as one who goes for Him. Vision gives a man new life and fresh courage. It energises you. Ask for this.

5: Re-Read God’s Promises To You About Your Marital Future And Speak Them Back To Him:

Put the Lord in remembrance.

“Put Me in remembrance; Let us contend together; State your case, that you may be acquitted.”
-Isaiah 43:26 NKJV

What we have with the Lord is a relationship. Tell the Lord what He has spoken to you about your marriage. Speak the words back to Him. Pray them to Him. Cry them to Him if you will. A day like this is actually a very good day for a single person to settle stuff with the Lord regarding their marital promise.

You know in the kingdom we BIRTH promises and prophecies to life. This can be one of those days when you focus and do exactly that.

6: Praise The Lord:

“O praise the Lord, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people. For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the Lord endureth for ever. Praise ye the Lord.”
-Psalm 117:1‭-‬2 KJV

Today’s also a good day to spend with the Lord, praising Him for how far He has brought you and what next He has for you.

Take your tambourine and go on YouTube, Look for “shekere praise by Pastor Tony Rapu” and dance before the Lord.

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.”
-Psalm 37:4 AMPC

7: Take Yourself Out:

Go solo.

Read the 12trip challenge for inspiration.
Go on an adventure; if not today then plan to do so this year as a regular practice. Don’t just sit back and let time pass you by. Invest it on adventures. Travel the world or your State where you are. There are so many inexpensive trips we can take within where we are.

8: Give To Others:

During the years 2014-2015 thereabouts,  I used to spend my valentine day by taking food stuff to orphanages and just staying with the children there. Let the Lord place something or somewhere or someone in your heart that you can go and give to in self-less love, not because they can pay you back but because you can.

9: Make An Analysis Of How Ready You Are For Marriage And Motherhood:

Get the preparation on how to be a wife audio CD here

Since marriage is something that you desire, ask yourself questions if you are really ready for this. Ask the Lord to show you areas of lapses and how you can sit up and begin preparing for what God has prepared for you.

10: Collide With Other Singles/Join Programmes With Others:

Don’t isolate yourself. Get involved with others. Go out. Have fun. Browse for events during this period and go meet new people. Laugh. Take pictures. Rejoice. Siy
Your singlehood is not a disease.

I hope these ten Recommendations have been of help to you today. Please hit the share button below and share this post on your preferred social media channel. Comment below also, I’d love to read from you.


If you need places to collide with other singles, join our IG live singles gist on love and relationships tonight on @ayscafrica

2: Also you can read my book SURVIVING SINGLEHOOD.

Highly recommended!







:You can also listen to this podcast with Kemi Onabanjo on “Dealing with the pressures of singlehood”

Listen to the podcast here


Remember, if this blessed you, please hit the share button below and share this post on your preferred social media channel. Comment below also, I’d love to read from you.

Till my next post,
Lots of Love,
Hephzibah Frances

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