I remember when I wrote the real power couples,Â I got pretty dissed(for lack of a better word) for writing on the spiritual angle of God bringing couples together. Someone even referred to me being young and not knowing yet that relationships need a lot of maturity and tact to survive.
I do not claim to know all, Infact, I feel like I know nothing about relationships/marriages, but do you really think that I do not know that it takes more than faith in God to make marriage work? Come on, I come from a home which was broken for close to 14years before they came back together. I do not look to just instagram pictures of couples that seem always happy as my role models. I have seen first hand the ugly parts of marriage and I know not to go down that road.
I absolutely, absolutely believe that God writes love stories.
I absolutely, absolutely believe in faith in God for a great marriage.
I absolutely, absolutely believe in prayers but I also know that marriage takes work, takes lots of maturity, tact, brings out the worst attitudes in people and can make gentle Jane go bonkers in seconds.
I read a post on being a wife on a blog last week and it resonated so deeply with me. (I’m so sorry, I can’t find the link, I believe everyone should read it)
You know, the fact that I am spiritual ALONE isn’t what will give me a great marriage in the future. I need wisdom.
Proverbs 24:3- “Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation]”
So, I am doing my best to prepare in wisdom also.
There’s wisdom for financial preparations(and I don’t mean for just the wedding day)
There’s wisdom for sex(ual) preparations.
There’s wisdom for how to groom the kids.
There’s wisdom for intellectual preparations.
There’s wisdom for character preparations…
And aside from prayers and faith in God, I’m doing my best to prepare in these ways too.
You don’t believe me? Well, I always say that I got a good deal out of red lips brouhaha. Faith and trust in God was re-emphasized, I learnt about true love, I learnt not to place hope in man at all, I learnt how to talk to my first husband about anything and I gained some pruning in my character.
Yes, I didn’t like what he said to me BUT I could have kept quiet and not have responded in a harsh manner.
There’s still Proverbs 31:26 in the Bible.
“She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].”
And believe it or not, the Holy Spirit doesn’t let me get away with such things. He convicts me(not condemns me).
In that red lips instance, what the Holy Spirit said to me was – “anger lies in the bosom of fools right? So also does writing, typing when in anger…when you are angry, keep quiet, keep calm. Don’t type/say anything till you are calm. Act like the Holy Spirit does, when you are grieved, keep quiet, convict the person of guilt later on, but not in a harsh manner. We will work on you together. Meekness of heart, mouth and fingers. Don’t be fast to speak, talk or type when angry…”
(As a side note, don’t you just love the Holy Spirit? I truly don’t know where I would be character wise if He wasn’t in me. It would be terrible no doubt.)
So preparation in character, yes?
I am learning to let God prune me in my words of mouth/anger already. Equals to learning better ways to resolve conflicts in my relationships/future marriage.
This doesn’t mean that I am on top of my game now and all perfect, but I know what the Bible says about ladies having a meek and quiet Spirit and I am trying, trying to build mine in God.
I want to be able to turn my husband’s head with gentle words and not erupt in a volcano when we have disagreements as we will.
And I’m practicing this right now with friends, family, loved ones, acquaintances, everyday people I meet on the street… I don’t want to go into marriage with a raw and unrefined character.
Yes, prayers will help me also, but I’ve also got to mellow and learn, and learn and learn to be pruned on how to indeed give a soft answer to everyone.
So, yes I don’t know so much, but I know what God is revealing to me right now about maturity, tact, character… that will help me in marriage.
And it’s funny how it all revolves to God again… I just cannot take away the fact that even in preparation, be it finances, sex, love… still it all revolves to God.
Self-control, prudence in finances, submission in marriage, respect to my husband…. All still revolves around to God. I can’t take Him away from it all.
But I just thought to put it out there, I am very well aware of the fact that marriage doesn’t take just prayers, it also takes preparation in all ways + maturity, tact et al.
That I write on faith in God in my love story doesn’t mean that I exclude the other aspects. One can only write one article at a time right? I can’t cram all I am learning into one write up… but still I am so certain, it still all starts and end with God. Yes it does and again, please, get your relationship right with God. He teaches, He prunes, He steps in, He helps even in marriages, after all, it’s His own institution.
As always, you can write back to me if you please and do follow me on bloglovinÂ and clickÂ hereÂ to get notifications of new posts directly to your email.Â so you won’t miss any of our gist.
Till I write to you next time, please read our first husband and the real power couples, you will be blessed.
With lots of love,