Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Spirit Led Relationships: Being Led By The Spirit When Praying For Answers Regarding Relationships

Dear single ladies and gentlemen,
How have you all been?
Hope you are still on track with God? Waiting on Him for your marital story and not rushing off on your own?

I almost didn’t want to write any love letter to you today, but this kept ringing in my heart. Maybe, just maybe it’s meant for someone out there…

I pray I finally meet you all I write my love letters to every saturday, because I have loads of stories to tell you guys.
One of my stories will be about the ways God leads me when I pray concerning whether He wants me to enter into a relationship or not.
I have written about a way to know God’s will about a potential spouse here before and today, I will dwelling on another way – that of being led by the Spirit.
Now, I have also written on how we can hear God’s voice here before and it is closely linked with being led by the Spirit of God.
But we will just be narrowing it down to relationships and spouse choices today.
You didn’t know that you can be led by God on whether you should accept/propose to a lady?
Swoosh! You’ve been missing out on God’s free gift of leading His children in ALL areas of our lives.

Ok, let me give you guys a bit of my own story, just so you know that I am not saying this because it’s something that I heard, it’s happened to me multiple times before.
What story do I focus on out of the “multiples?”
Earlier this year I had someone who was coming onto me, spouting off “I know it’s God’s will. I feel peace in me.”
Ah. I know that we both must get confirmation so I simply went to my Daddy to pray and ask what His mind concerning this person was.
I had a bit of “feelings” blocking my antenna – feelings that told me yes. But I realized just how easy it was for my mind to lie to me so instead, I kept tarrying in the place of prayer. (btw, praying in tongues is one of the fastest ways to get answers from God. You should try it.)

So, all through my praying about it and even speaking to my Pastor so as to get counsel about it, I had no peace in my heart.
It was the reason why I doubted the “yes” I got at first.
One day, we went out and had a date and something happened that just had my antenna blown up.
I was so worried about that particular thing, I mean it rang a red flag so much in me, I pinged my Pastor again at night but didn’t tell him exactly what it was that blew my radar off.
We agreed to continue praying about it.
I think it happened on a sunday.
Monday, I got a text message of that same thing I had a red flag about being done to me.
It happened like a movie.
I don’t want to say how silly it was, but just know that it was so silly, every man must know not to do such a thing to a lady they are wooing.
A friend of mine I related the whole story to was like “Frances, which kain dangerous prayer you pray, the guy must not have known when he did that.”
I just said “I prayed in”

But seriously, you guys won’t get the gravity of what I’m saying except I spill it all and I don’t want to do so for privacy reasons. And respect for the guy.
But here’s what I am I am trying to relay to you from my experience:
You can be led by the Spirit of God when you have to makes decisions as regards a spouse.

Let’s xray my experience more closely.
Remember that I said we went on a date and something that happened bugged me so much I pinged my pastor at night?
The red flag?
That was it.
More and more I am learning to trust God’s Spirit in me (not my emotions or mind set).
There are some certain red flags about people/decisions I have to make that I have come to recognize for what they are. A stop sign or a wait sign.
You can’t really explain how it occurs but I will try to explain as much as I can.

It’s a certain “uneasiness” or something just tugging on your heart, you don’t just have a go ahead on the decision and sometimes you don’t even know why.
Well, can we all learn something today?
If you are born again, filled with the Spirit and walking in Him, then know that those red flags aren’t to be taken lightly.

I am a small girl in the Christian walk but this year has seen God teaching me to trust His Spirit in me.
Sometimes He says yes, I get the yes so clear in His word and in my heart.
Sometimes He says no, and I get the no so clearly in my heart.
And then sometimes, He is saying no, but it isn’t so clear but relays itself to me as an “uneasiness” about saying yes on that decision.
This “uneasiness” some of us feel but go ahead and say “yes” anyway.
That shouldn’t be.
If you don’t feel quite alright about a decision concerning a spouse, then please, stop, wait, pray some more before you go ahead and do anything.

In the story I relayed above, it took my praying about it and it wasn’t so long before God gave me the answer, not even in words, but in a real life occurrence.
For me, God leads me in relationship decisions by showing me something in the person’s character/attitude or just bringing about a break in our communication.
Trust me, it’s amazing that He speaks to me this way concerning relationships because feelings are a terrible thing. They can blind you to what matters and dim God’s voice even when He is saying no.
So God just adds a little extra something in the way He leads me – by making it as plain as day in real life occurrences.
For you, it might be different… but what the gist of this letter is, is that in being lead by the Spirit, you should listen to the “red flags”, “stop signs”, “uneasiness” in your spirit.
When you get those, please don’t go on.
Wait some more and pray some more.
Marriage is forever and it’s going nowhere.
It won’t hurt to tarry in prayers for months if that’s what it takes.
For people like me who have promised God not to say “yes” to anyone except He okays it, prayers are a must.
I don’t believe in “test and go relationships.”
I am done with those, and I want to believe that you are too.
Please, please learn to listen to your spirit even as you pray for God to lead you concerning answers to proposals.

And it goes without saying that you must train your spirit for you to trust him to lead you in issues of life.
This is more of an #OnlineBibleStudy topic but in a simple terms, training your spirit simply means feeding it. Feeding it so much so that He dominates you and your decisions in life.
And the Spirit’s food remains the word of God. Felllowshiping with God. Spending time with Him, in word, prayer, conversations, making Him a part of your life and not dumping Him in a corner.
As you do so, your spiritual antenna increases as time goes on.
Then your Spirit immediately picks it up if something’s not right and yes, even in situations concerning relationships.

Finally, can we take a moment to just pray for ourselves and everyone else reading this letter?
Pray that we all shall not miss it as regards our marital destinies.
That we shall only hear and follow God’s voice, not our voice, not the world’s and not our emotions.
Pray that we would always heed and yield when we feel the spirit’s tug on our heart and we would never make a move when He says no/gives us a red flag in our spirit.

Lord, I pray for my sisters and brothers who are single and waiting on you even as you write our love stories…
I pray that we shall all hold onto you and you alone even on this journey to being with your chosen one for us.
The voice of no one else shall we follow but yours.
And we shall wait for as long as it takes. Only your will for our marital lives is allowed. Thank you Lord, in Jesus name we have prayed, amen.

As always, hit the comment box to reply my letter, I love hearing from you.

Till next my next love letter,

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  • Reply
    September 19, 2015 at 9:56 am

    I definitely agree with you Frances. My pastor always says ‘marrying the wrong person is one of the greatest mistakes you will make. It will not only affect you. It will also affect your children because your destiny becomes tied to that person”. And I agree. I recently interviewed a pastor (the interview should be up on my blog soon) who has been married for over 30 years. She spoke extensively about marriage and she also insisted that it’s better to wait on God than rush into it. Because God will never give you someone that will later backslide and derail you from fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. Mehn, this marriage thing is a serious issue o.

    May God lead us all.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      September 22, 2015 at 9:56 am

      Yay! Mayowa, can’t wait to read the interview…and yes oh, the marriage issue is a serious one..has to be done with God all the way… we will get it right only by relying on the One who created marriage in the first place.
      God help us all..

  • Reply
    Tope Ogunyinka
    September 19, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    I absolutely agree with you Frances. We have to seek the face of God before entering into a relationship. It could save us from emotional traumas and all. The Holy Spirit guides us and we should be willing to accept His guidance. God bless you babe.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      September 22, 2015 at 10:00 am

      “Willing to yield and accept His guidance”…
      Thanks Temitope…
      I believe that the issue is not whether He will lead us cuz He surely will, the issue is on seeking Him and then obeying and yielding unto His leading…

      But thank God for the grace to obey..we can always rely on that.

      Thanks for your comment and your retweeting too 🙂

  • Reply
    September 21, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    just what i need. It can be difficult hearing the Spirit when feelings have developed. I had to back off and go to God in prayers, i am still praying.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      September 22, 2015 at 10:06 am

      Yep Mide..feelings can clog our antennas…better to start praying early/keep praying and make sure it’s the Spirit speaking and not our own minds…
      God will surely get the Word to seek and you’ll surely find..thats the beauty of it.
      #stayonyourknees. Yep..

      God will honour your placing Him first.

  • Reply
    September 21, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    Same thing here. I spent months praying and God didn’t exactly say anything. Then we started the lets keep going and see what happens thingy. Of course we started talking abi dating and feelings developed over time while I still prayed. I knew I liked him. he was my kinda guy, cool-headed and all. Then it happened. Boo said he cant do the no-sex ish anymore, that he has tried enough and wouldn’t want to cheat on me. It was very hurtful, had me crying to God for consolation. I just wondered why it took that long for this to happen, would have saved me all the hurt. I did my best to give him bible passages and all why its a no-no for me and why I cannot compromise on that but he said he just cant do it. Since premarital sex is a no for me, we said our goodbyes. I was kinda confused though but was glad I chose Christ.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      September 22, 2015 at 10:13 am

      Awww Lynda..more and more we are choosing God over man..this is ama-mazing!
      It’s so hard but I know, it’s worth it.

      We all have our kind of guys in our heads and sometimes it turns out that those guys aren’t God’s kind of guy for us…funny how that always work out each and everytime, except we finally go to God and ask what should indeed be on our list of a let our list align with His. (I blogged on that before)

      I think the point where we don’t hear or are not certain Is where we should wait for a while. Not moving or giving answers, just #wait for a while…def saves us the long time spent outside of His will.

      But still I am so glad you chose God. The guy’s problem isn’t really sex, it’s His heart(as inthe would say)
      Does he love God?
      If he loves God, he would keep God’s commandments.
      Do you really want a man who doesn’t have a heart beating for God? It’s more than the sex issue here, it’s “who has this guy’s heart?”
      What does his actions posit…

      Finally, still i’m glad you chose God. God will honour you in this area of your life if you stick with Him..He surely will.

  • Reply
    November 11, 2015 at 12:02 am

    Firstly, I’d love to say thank God for you and how He is using you to encourage and build up saints for Him (women especially ) and how I am so glad to have stumbled across your blog. God bless you.
    Secondly, reading your experience about your service in Ekiti state feels like a stonger reason for me to accept my placement there to serve (after several discouraging words and personal confusing feelings I’ve had), it’s been so inspiring reading your posts, I for one have been blessed with all your experiences and words of advice.
    Lastly, I pray that the evident grace and anointing of God in your life continues to flow and increase as you continue in His will. Amen.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 11, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      Hiii Deekay!
      So great to meet you, welcome to our blog family…

      Firstly, oh my, I am so excited at your making a decision to follow God’s will for your life as regards your nysc.
      Yes, because if you are a child of God, He orders your steps and if He ordered it to Ekiti, He has something in store for you there.
      Please holla me if you need some places, Church, etc, to settle in. I can recommend.

      And I love the gift of prayers. Amen and amen and amen.
      Thank you sis…again, it’s so good to have you here 🙂

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