Chastity For Men Project (Series) Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Richard Abe: Men And Sexual Chastity


I believe you all had a great week?

We are still on the matter of trying to spread the word on #ChastityForMen on the blog and today we have a fellow brother sharing with us all on sex.

I almost titled this post “the consequences of pre-marital sex and as you read along, you will see why.

I’ll let you read and learn and be changed from the inside out for yourself.

Ladies(yes, I’m aware that we have ladies reading and learning from this too) and gentlemen, I give you words from Richard Abe.



SEX is one of the most notorious issues of our world today. It rings loud in our homes, streets, at work and even in the Church. Its fangs in our society is sharp, venomous and untamed. Every body has an identity with it in a way, that we can’t deny.
It would be relevant and important to point out as fast too that it has ruined lives, homes, careers, dreams and destroyed nations.
The world we live in gives us a lot to contend with, but the frame (flesh) we live in is very weak to contend (back) with. It’s choking the very life off our weak flesh which is receiving more than it has the strength to bear.


Everything around us has a sex appeal in it and it is as if our society cannot thrive without it. Our home videos, our music videos, adverts, internet, wears, and even the church carries this explicit content. Was this wild practice the mind of the creator? The answer is NO, it was not so from the beginning.


How on earth now can we ever dream of or discuss sexual chastity in this sexual world, its almost a futile effort right? You may think so, but I have a different orientation.

Before I go too far, what is sexual chastity? Sexual chastity is the abstaining from sexual intercourse or sexual activities before or outside of marriage; avoidance of sexual sins as well as the quality of being sexually pure, chaste and decent.


What accounts for the sexual rampage and abuse of our world today?

The answer is not far fetched, “IGNORANCE”, of course! Of what? “OF PURPOSE”.

They say if the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse of it is inevitable. The first thing is to know the purpose of sex.


I have not been able to overcome sexual temptations (I tell you, I face a lot of it!), or keep sexual chastity as some superhuman; however i have helped myself with the understanding of the subject matter of sex, its purpose, what sex is. That’s exactly what i want to share; the wisdom that has helped my sexual chastity.


Sex is an idea of God, there is no way the devil can create a thing as sweet as sex.

It is the height of pleasure that can be felt sensually by us. However, God designed it to operate within the bounds of marriage and not without. It is meant to establish a covenant and strengthen the bond within couples within the wall of marriage and every time it is consummated the tie is fortified.


Therefore the only competent foundation for sex is marriage, it is a blessing for marriage.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall “CLEAVE” unto his wife: and they shall be “ONE FLESH”. (Genesis 2:24)


What case then do we make for premarital and extramarital sexual relations? Its a “CURSE”! Really? How do you mean? Yea, it is a very bad omen.


Proverbs 6:32-33 says but whosoever committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.

This is what I read from the scriptures, check it out!


When you give yourself away in sex as a young man, you trade your strength, honour and glory away. A King was warned by his mother, having this understanding.


See Proverbs 31:1-3 “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings”.


Waoh! You see that? I don’t want to destroy my destiny, I don’t want to damage my future or mortgage my honour so I abstain with fear and trembling.


Proverbs 20:29 says The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head.


You see?

However, we have so many docile, empty and drained youths roaming the world today.

That’s why many can make their lives no meaningful, they have given away their strength to strange women, the glory is gone and they get to struggle with life and the little strength they’ve got left. See also 1John 2:13.


Also another scriptural verse helps us to understand the folly of sexual sin.


Hebrews 12:16 says Lest there be any “fornicator” or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.”


We all know what Bro Esau did. He sold his birth right for “asaro” (pottage). This verse makes the same, Esau’s exchange price for the pottage with the price any fornicator pays for fornication – “birthright”.


Esau lost it for momentary gratification, also fornicators sell their birthright for 10 – 15 minutes sensual gratification. What a cheap thing to lose my birthright, my glory to. Therefore, I tread with caution that I may not carelessly lose my honour. These things are true. They are contained in the very word of God which is immutable.


Just like an orange fruit, it can give you toxic acid or give you nutritious vitamin; its a matter of timing. If you eat an unripe orange, you will be eating sour acid, but if you can only be patient and give it time to ripen, you will enjoy the nutritious vitamin-rich sweet juice. God makes all things beautiful in its time. Fornication is a sour and acidic experience.


We burn ourselves with hot coal and embrace fire in our bosom when we commit sexual sins.

Therefore, brothers, let’s consider this truth. I consider it daily and watch my steps with them.

A few additional efforts have helped me and they would be discussed hereunder:


First is what I watch and listen to. These things enter into our minds and they form strongholds which goes ahead to affect our lives simply, because as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is (Proverbs 23:7). I avoid explicit and xrated home videos and music videos very meticulously, they pressure the flesh to do immorality and sin. Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23)

Rather, I read and listen to powerful, inspirational books and songs that will affect my life meaningfully and spur me towards positive attainment in life. Of course, of inestimable value is the word of God to me too, it helps me to overcome carnalty, try it. (Check Psalm 119:9-11)


Secondly, I do not play around fire, I RUN!

How do I mean? run from everything that looks like sexual impurity. Avoid it o, hmm, because deep calleth unto deep! Flee all appearances of evil. Ungodly environments, clubs, parties, casinos and ungodly friends, avoid them all.
Also, the bible didn’t say resist, or fight or pray against fornication, it says “FLEE FORNICATION!” Friends Don’t try to assume you are strong and can control yourself. Brother Superman, FLEE.


Thirdly, avoid visiting or hanging out with the opposite sex at ungodly hours, you are taking fire to TOTAL if you do that; you are tempting yourself.


Fourthly, you need to pray.

For some, they are operating under demonic influence of fornication and its so bad, i mean, that bad. You can be whole again, pray to God and He will heal your land. (Check 2Chronicles 7:14).
Some resort to masturbation. FIRE! avoid masturbation, it will only stimulate more your desire!


So, much has been said. If you’ve been in so much mess or you’ve had a terrible past with unchaste sexual history, that’s not the end. God can refine you and make you whole again (2 Corinthians 5:17)
If you have been abused, there is a new life in Jesus, He would fix you and give you joy unspeakable, beyond bounds, joy like a river. He would clean you up and restore you as well as your honour. He loves you.
I am chaste!


Richard Abe

Facebook group: Saintmanna Devotionals




Somehow, my rejoinder to this post disappeared…

I just couldn’t help but smile widely when I got to Richard’s “I am chaste”.

Anyone who has struggled with lust, pre-marital sex and all will readily tell you that to say “I am chaste” is a testimony in itself.

And I also couldn’t help but notice that Richard is anchored on the Word.

See those Bible verses above? Letting them sink into you is a sure way to stay above lust and walk in the Spirit.

My prayer is that more and more men will walk in the victory God gives from lust.


We will continue on the series next week by God’s grace.

You can also see previous posts in the #ChastityForMen series here

Till then, subscribe to blog via email below to get notifications of new posts  and let’s walk along in Christ together.



Much love,



Ps: Please, I scheduled this post for today, but I will be doing my corpershun duty as an electoral officer by the time this post goes live, so please share this via a tweet or any other social media share below…let the news that we can all be chaste spread to everyone.

And I hope you all are voting in the elections(or voted in the elections)

Let God’s mandate for Nigeria stand.


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  • Reply
    March 28, 2015 at 10:17 am

    May this anointing never run dry..

  • Reply
    Dr. N
    March 28, 2015 at 10:32 am

    May all the chaste men be as bold as this brother and as they raise the banner of Christ, may they draw many men into the kingdom

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 29, 2015 at 5:23 pm

      Deep prayer Dr N!
      Amen and amen!

      I believe there is power in men standing up for Christ in chastity, like you have said, may this draw many more men into God’s kingdom.

      • Reply
        Lord Richy
        April 4, 2015 at 5:28 pm

        Amen and amen. Thank you Doctor. May God strengthen us and make us valiant and stronger for Himself and to His glory. Amen

  • Reply
    March 28, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Well done, Richard. Whether you want it to be or not, sex forms a union between you and the woman you are with. It’s the joining of two bodies together. Powerful hormones and feelings are released when you have sex. Evolution set up these feelings with the intention of bringing two people together to care for a new human life. It’s ridiculous to unite with a woman in this powerful coupling and then change partners like you’re changing a shirt.
    Sex is like ice cream. The more flavors you sample, the harder it becomes to settle on one flavor for the rest of your life. Stay chaste.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 29, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      Ezar…like Dr N’s comment, I should frame yours and post everywhere.
      I pray we(men and women) come to the true knowledge of what sex is and what kind of ties we sometimes ignorantly(or not) bind ourselves into.
      And may we live chaste as we should in God.

  • Reply
    Princess Okechukwu
    March 28, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    God bless the writer. And may The Lord continue to open the eyes our youths to stand with God, presenting our whole selves as living sacrifices. Amen!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 29, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      Amen and amen!!!
      Princess…amen and amen!

  • Reply
    Efe Anita Kotor
    March 28, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    Wow, am lost for words, but all I can say is, more grace!more grace Richard! I pray God continue to use U to affect the lives of Young lads who are have gone astray as a result of dis sinful pleasure! God bless u real good!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 29, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      Amen and amen Efe!
      May Richard continue to stand boldly for Christ and light up others to stand boldly for Christ too in chastity…amen!

      And funny, the pleasure in the “guilty pleasure” isn’t really pleasure at all. Like Silas said, is it pleasure when you feel guilty and lose a lot afterwards.
      May God help us all as we wait for the right time and not rush/spoil things for ourselves.

  • Reply
    March 30, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    this was really a bible study and quite educating. The truth about sex should be out there because a lot of people have the perverted versions in their mind as the truth.

    I second that flee advice, it works so much and you would later be happy you fled.

    more grace richard and lets get this word out there in the way we can

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 30, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      That’s the truth Vicky…the perverted version of sex is mostly what is out there.
      So many men and women do not know what they indeed do when they become one with someone that they aren’t married to.

      I pray for Richard for Him to grow stronger in God’s truth and for other men too, that they can flee when need be and let God’s light and word guide their lives in the area of being chaste in Jesus name, amen!

      Btw, I’m loving your visiting and dropping your shine everywhere 🙂

  • Reply
    March 31, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Lol, you’re welcome and yea, scratch the i missed the blog, i missed you and the blog too

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 1, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      Awww, missed you more. Remain torch wey I for use take find you.
      Do stay pls 🙂

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 2, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      Miss you plenty plenty babes 🙂

  • Reply
    April 3, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    Hahaha, Not moving an inch

  • Reply
    April 4, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Wow!!!..this write up is inspiring….
    moreso that it assures some people that they are not alone in the race of inspired, keep the fire burning it is for our own good
    sexual sin/perversion of whatever form its a sin against our body which is the temple of God..and God personally supervises the punishment

    do you know what again sexual sin does? It pollutes and block your communication pipe with God…it makes you ashame, you start to struggle to get answers to prayers..remember that it is the fervent prayer of the righteous that avails much and we can nt continue in sin and expect grace to abide..
    lets make the decision to stay chaste and work towards i pray the grace of God will keep us on track till the very end…Amen in Jesus name.

  • Reply
    Frances Okoro
    April 5, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Gbemie, your “God personally supervises the punishment” made me laugh.
    Indeed, it’s a sin that God doesn’t like at all(he likes no sin) but this one is on a deeper level like 1cor 6 explains it all.

    And yes, the disruption in communion with God is one consequence of sexual sin that satan rejoices at..but I pray we find grace to say “no more” and let God lead us in this journey.

    I appreciate you and your stopping by.
    Hope to see more of you 🙂

  • Reply
    April 6, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Well expressed.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    “Sex is an idea of God, there is no way the devil can create a thing as sweet as sex.”
    So true.
    James 1:17 KJV
    “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights…”
    Sex is a gift, like sleep.
    Thank you.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      October 10, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      It sure is a gift from God Gloire…society has just tried to perverse the gift when God intended it to be good…good and perfect.

      We pray for correction of ideologies and God’s standard for sex and sexual relationships being brought back to their right Jesus name, amen

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