Online Bible Study Reader's Request

Online Bible Study Reader’s Request: How To Have A Vibrant Relationship With God (And Fall In Love With Him Again)

I was asked this question by two blog readers months back… the month I went to Jos for NCCF conference… and if you’ve been regular on the blog(and also with details of my life), you know my life has been on a rush since then, so I haven’t really been able to reply mails like I want to…
Especially the mails that require me to get quiet, ask for wisdom and reply.
I’m only now starting to settle back into an easy pace which isn’t still on fleek what with getting the virtual book tour, giveaway and e-copies of my book done…
But on Saturday, I again read Arike’s post on “I don’t love God…” and her closing words on welcoming ideas from others on what to do reminded me of my reply to the question on “how to have a vibrant relationship with God”.


I am also currently in my bestie’s house in Lagos and among other things we have talked about, we are currently working on her working on her relationship with God because it seems like the fire is dieing…
So everywhere I turn (maybe even to myself too) this just seems to be a season where everyone’s fire seems to be going down and that shouldn’t be so.
So I pray to be able to answer this question not with fine words, but with words that will spur us all to make that move to press into God.


So let’s go on…
But before we do, here’s the first question that I was asked and what I will be basing my answers on (all the other questions can basically be wrapped in this one).


Sister A:
“How do you keep your relationship with God so amped up? Mine is virtually nonexistent now. I am just going through the motions of life and its not funny.”


First of all, I filmed a video in response to this when I came back from the conference and intended to also answer in words but for the reasons stated above, I didn’t get around to sharing with her (or on the blog).
You can watch the video below or on my Youtube channel here

Okay, let’s go on with words…
The first thing I would say is that I am sorry to debunk your “high opinion” of me, but my relationship with God isn’t ALWAYS amped up.
I have had days when I don’t know what to do with Him/with my time with Him.
I have had days when I don’t feel Him and it just seemed like I am in a dry season (I have blogged about that here).
I have had days when I don’t even desire Him… like my desire to sit at His feet is literally gone (if that’s you right now, you need to read the Thirsty Series here).
So you see, me and God, I fall, He picks me up.
Like He says, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:13)
So don’t get it twisted my blog family, despite my rising and falling with God, if it seems like I am on an all time burning fire for God, that’s basically because of one truth…


I have learnt how to pursue God.


When I got to Kaduna on my way to Jos for the last conference I attended, my answer to Sister A’s question just sprung right up in my spirit.
The way I keep my relationship with God amped up is by literally running after Him and being INTENTIONAL about loving Him.
Now, we all know that the source of our having a vibrant relationship with God is in spending time with Him.


You cannot push off your quiet time with God and expect to be on top notch intimacy with Him.
You’ll burn out.
You’ll little by little fizzle out of touch with Him till you get back to that place where He can speak quiet and gentle whispers into your soul and spirit and body.
In the secret place between you and God, that’s where your fire and love is stoked up for Him.
The only problem is we let life and every other thing – which isn’t essential in the grand scheme of things (they aren’t essential, ask Jesus about this in Luke 10:38) – pull us away from spending time in God’s presence.


And spending time with God – pursuing Him even when I don’t feel like it is the secret of my amped up relationship with God.


Now, there are some days when I don’t even feel like going to that secret place with God – I don’t feel like talking to Him – my phone holds more appeal than singing worship to Him… on those kind of days, still I force myself to show up and sit at His feet because I know what’s at stake if I don’t.
You see, our love for God doesn’t just fizzle out, it fizzles out little by little, day by day, in each moment that we chose to go a day without pressing into God… With each day that we don’t read His word… with each day that we don’t even let Him feature in our thoughts… that’s how we grow apart from Him and our fire runs cold.


I have found out the truth that any branch that doesn’t remain in Jesus dies and I do not want to die.
It’s a sad place to be and I have experienced being close to this death before… I have experienced the distance from Him and it’s not a cool thing.
I literally feel the empty void in my spirit when we are apart and it hurts…


So you want to have a vibrant relationship with God and fall into deeper love with Him (again)?
Spend time with Him.
The only issue with this is that some of us keep waiting till we feel like doing this.
Make it A MUST.
Something compulsory…
I will not step out of my house till I have sat at my Lord’s feet.


God has so drummed warnings into my head about this, even when I was so busy with my book launch and had not slept the whole night, I made sure I sat at His feet even though it was for 5 minutes before I let the rush of the day suck me up in it.
I understand that there is a “doing” for Jesus and a “being” with Jesus but the “doing” holds no candle to the “being”.
It is in being with Jesus that we get the doing for Jesus right.
So even when stuff wants to come between my being with Jesus, I fight for that time with Him.
I pursue after Him.
I have learnt the art of dropping everything and running into His arms.
If I feel like something isn’t right… I’m not on fire as I was before… I get intentional about dropping all the distractions and simply going in to be with Him.
When I went to NCCF conference, I registered with cash I was supposed to save for that month, I didn’t have too much on me but I just shut my mind to that because I wanted God.
Same thing I do for other conferences… there might be a cost, inconveniences here and there but is it something that will feed my soul? Will I leave the place better in my Spirit? Then I will go.


Morning quiet time…
Do I feel sleepy? yes.
Do I feel like reading the word and praying? No.
Will my relationship with God suffer if I miss out on spending time with God? Yes.
Then I will get intentional with being in that place of intimacy with HIM EVEN WHEN I Don’t FEEL like it.



So how to fall back in love with God and have a vibrant relationship with Him?
Pursue after Him with everything you’ve got.
You feel yourself slipping?
Get intentional about spending time with Him.
When last did you sit in with His word without distractions?
When last did you get up early and start your day with singing praises to His name?
When last did you pray?
Have you even prayed in the Spirit for a while?
All these things might seem small, but they stoke up the fire in you for God.
As you relate with Him, He gives and exchanges more of His character and qualities with you and you just keep seeing Him in new light everyday and keep falling in love with Him over and over and over again.
You don’t love Him once and think that will keep you.
As your love for your human spouse increases, so also should your love for God increase.
And how does this happen?
Well, how does it happen in the physical?
The more time you and your spouse spend together, the more you know him better, the more he grows on you /your heart…
It’s the same with God.


Get back to spending time with Him INTENTIONALLY even when you don’t feel like it.
Sit under His tutelage every morning (and personally, I’m working on every evening too and not just uttering small prayers to Him) and learn of Him.
You do that and He refills you each and every day so you don’t run on empty tank and go dry.



Now Sister A also said she currently goes through the routines…
I take that to mean maybe she spends time with God but it seems like same old, same old…


I have been asked what I do during my quiet time (that makes my eyes and heart spark for God) and the truth is, I just enjoy God.
This year I have found out that God just wants us to enjoy Him and yes, even during our quiet time.
I have woken up on some days, not knowing what to do during my quiet time… like reading the Bible seemed like it won’t be enough and in those kind of times, I have asked and followed what is laid in my spirit.
So sometimes, I dance and dance and dance and laugh and jump.
Sometimes I sit and speak to Him quietly.
Sometimes I open up Proverbs…
Sometimes I just pray quietly… but always joy bubbles in me.
So don’t place your time with God in a box.
Just enjoy Him.


I told my friend who I am with that it doesn’t always have to be prayers during your quiet time, you know, just come and enjoy your company with God.


Some persons will ask what’s even in this quiet time/spending time with God?
Well, do it today… feel the presence of God wrap around you… feel the power in the Bible… and come tell me if there’s any power in spending time with God.
That place of intimacy… in being with Jesus… that’s where our love for Him spill over into a vibrant relationship with Him.
Lord help us to fan into flames our relationship with you again.
Stoke up our fire with your spirit and let it burn brightly for you.
Help us to get intentional about being with you and let the only thing that is essential – sitting at your feet – sink into our hearts and minds.
Keep us in you Lord… always keep us in you, in Jesus name we’ve prayed, amen.
I hope I was able to answer this question in a way that will help others.
If you have more questions, comment below or mail me at and I will do my best to answer.


Whatever I missed in writing answers to this question must have been said in my video so watch the video below or on my Youtube channel here.


And my Church The Oasis, RCCG, King’s Court is currently holding a flaming fire conference.
The conference held yesterday and will hold today. It’s for those who need to burn in God and revive their fire in Him again.
Trust me, we all need it.
So if you can, meet us up at 3 Keystone bank crescent, off Adeyemo Alakija Street, VI, Lagos.
Time is by 5:30pm.



Till our next #OnlineBibleStudy,


P:S – Bear with me, I didn’t get the PDF for this study done… there’s a lot on my hands.

But keep in touch on the Free PDF download page here... I will upload this and other studies soonest.



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  • Reply
    November 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    I enjoyed reading this and was nodding my head in agreement through out. Last night, a friend asked how I do my quiet time. What do I basically do when I say I want to have a quiet time with God. And I was just like, I don’t really have a routine or pattern because I don’t want to restrict the flow of the spirit. Most mornings, I just tell the Holy Spirit to take over the quiet time and it just flows in ways I didn’t think it would, and it always leaves me refreshed. So what you said about not putting yourself in a box really had me smiling.

    To the issue of having a constant burning fire for God, to be honest, it’s not always so easy to make sure the fire is constant, not to talk of increasing, but I have learnt that all I really have to do is invite the Holy Spirit. I always tell my spirit, “listen. Your job is just to be open. God is the one doing the major job. He is the one putting in me the will to do his will and do his good works. He is the one helping me to serve him and amazingly, he has given me the Holy Spirit who will even help me serve him and know him better.” That really works for me.

    I shared at my fellowship in school that a key to praying when you don’t feel like praying is to have a conversation with God about it. So wake up, tell the Holy Spirit, I really don’t feel like saying anything this morning. I don’t even have anything to say. But just fill my mouth. Then let your prayer be a gentle form of conversation. You talking like you are narrating what is bothering you, what’s making you happy and all to your best friend. No restrictions, no filtering and trust me, you will be amazed at how long you will spend talking to him unaware. It works like magic for me and I have discovered, when I have moments like that with the Holy Spirit, I even feel much better than when I woke up with a yearning to pray. It’s like I’m connecting to the friend and listener side of God.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 8, 2015 at 4:43 am

      Wow Mayowa…
      Over all lesson sinking into my heart and ihope would sink into the hearts of other who have read/will read your comment is “let the Holy Spirit do His will and work in us”.
      We should simply rely on Him and stop making this so difficult in our own strenght.
      Amen to this oh, amen! For me and others, amen and amen!
      Cuz we struggle soooo much, unnecessarily when God just wants us to fellowship and enjoy Him.
      Not everytime fire prayers, sometimes, come let’s relate as Father and daughter/ husband and wife, as King and servant, as lovers..different faces of our God. Would be short changing ourselves to limit Him to one category in our dealings with Him.

      Thank you Mayowa. Thank you!

  • Reply
    November 4, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    wonderful dissection. i’ll add that consistency or should i say spiced up consistency is required to keep that budding relationship with God. you have to be consistent. you cannot let yourself become too busy for God,. i mean, He gave you those blessings, should they now take up your time for Him?

    Be ye consistent because God cherishes our time with Him. If you are not, just like a jealous lover, He withdraws.

    then i have a question. its a bible study, there’s got to be some questions. my question: erm, sometimes there’s so much going on that during my quiet time i find it difficult to switch off. yes, i’m there with God but of late, it’s become harder to get things off my mind. my mind just refuses to stick with my body and then i just end it and leave. how do i deal with that? switching off my 24 hrs busy brain off when i want to have my quiet time that is.

    p.s i watched some part of the video….you have a great voice. i love people with great voices considering the fact that mine is not ‘advertisable’….#compliment.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 8, 2015 at 4:36 am

      Hey Vicky!
      Thank you for the compliment oh. I haff a nice voice 🙂

      Thank you so much for adding that… we can’t do one day on and two days off with God..its hard to get. used to at first, but hey,when you see the benefits (peace, love, faith, etc) being in His presence brings, of course consistency is worth it.

      As for distractions with an active mind…I get that too, especially on days when i have to do a lot…
      But that’s why we have to subject thoughts to the word. Would Jesus love it if wechose things over Him? No.
      I have discovered when it happens to me that my sticking it out still there and bringing my thoughts to Him in worship overthrows all other thoughts.
      It’s a battlefield of the mind you know?

      Another thing I learned from prov 31 ministries is that when there’s a lot popping into your head in your time with God, jot them in a todo list and keep going in enjoying intimacy with Him.
      When you are done, go to the todo list, but don’t leave Him for the todo list.
      It takes discipline and of course subjecting our minds to God’s word that we have to remain in him before we can even do the things running through our minds.

      God help us all to get it right in Jesus name, amen.

  • Reply
    February 4, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    I came snooping on the blog and I found this! This was timely. Thanks

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 7, 2017 at 1:14 pm

      Oh thank God Bookie.
      I snoop on the blog too. To find word in due season. Thank God you found something like I usually do 🙂

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