I feel so excited at the fact that I know Jesus – that I know the Lord
This season of Easter just has me digging deeper into the treasures of Jesus.
For the Easter weekend, I would be exploring in fiction the Lord’s gift of Himself to us.
I hope it blesses you and I hope this writing for this season is a worthy gift to my first husband.
Enjoy and be blessed with day 1
The year was 1916. She had lost everything in the war that ravaged Spain a few weeks back. She had lost her family, her faith, her very life.
Edna sat dejected at the bottom of the bridge. She looked all around her at the filth and stench of death.
She thought about her dad, oh sweet dear dad, ever reliable and as stable as his name, John. He had been killed in the fields with the first casualties of the war. He didn’t even make it home.
Her mom had died in childbirth a few years prior and the only person who cushioned the blow was her dad. Her dad with the rock solid faith.
She heard his voice right now, “Edna, she is with Jesus. Jesus loves her more than we could ever do and someday you will see both your mom and little Elsie again”.
Well now, she guessed that she would never see them ever again seeing as her soul was condemned to eternal damnation. She had cursed God. She couldn’t help it. She had tried to be strong and for the first few days she was. Till she was forced out of the house and had to live on the streets where she saw pain and suffering like she had never seen before.
She tried to see Jesus but she just couldn’t. Where was He? Why would He disappear at this time when she needed him the most?
Last night was the worst. Some of the drunk soldiers had come into the street where she was staying at a make-shift house. They had made lewd remarks when they saw her and ogled her body. She didn’t say anything till one of them touched her and then she weakly said “please leave me alone”.
“Ever polite missus eh?” He laughed at her choice of words.
The next thing she saw was her tread bare clothes being torn from her body. She heard herself crying out “Jesus! Jesus!”.
The soldiers laughed at the sound of His name and still He was nowhere to be found. 12 of those soldiers raped her last night and after a while she thought she was dead.
She woke up under the bridge with an unbearable pain in her body but the pain in her heart was worse.
She looked up to the heaven with tears running down her face, she said, “if this is who you are, I want no part of you. I will go on my own way from now on, you stay on your own path and make sure that we never cross paths ever again”.
Edna looked up at the plush apartment she was sited in, she had been living here for two years now but it still never failed to dazzle her senses how grand it all was.
She was sited on the laps of her lover. She had met Faith at the madhouse that was called the “whore quarter”.
After she left Jesus, she had resorted to being a whore to keep her body and soul together. Since she didn’t die, she figured she would be better off making something of herself.
Faith had come in looking for a lady lover for the night. Edna preferred those ones because in her heart of hearts she hated men. She hated those soldiers who raped her and all of their kind.
Faith was perfect though she didn’t like her name because it reminded her of the One who she’d rather forget but it was okay. Faith herself was oblivious to what her name meant.
After her time with Faith that night two years ago, Faith had suddenly offered her a room and board at her house and an opportunity to be her lover.
Women who were whores were considered scandalous and same-sex relationships were even more scandalous – for lack of a better word.
She had thought of her options; stay in the whore quarter and die or go with a lady desperate for love.. she had chosen the latter.
Faith had proven to indeed be desperate for love. She had never treated her badly. She told her that she had inherited the house and a vast estate from her parents but she never wanted to get married to a man. She had been awakened to her sexuality by her parents cook when she was 12 and she couldn’t imagine staying married to a man. They couldn’t get married but she was okay with that. Their lives were perfect as far as Faith was concerned.
It was perfect but for the fact that the One who she left two years ago had been haunting her in her dreams.
Why couldn’t he leave her alone? Edna wanted nothing to do with a God who would stand by silent while she called on His name in the face of men raping her.
She would never be able to forgive Him..never!
“What’s wrong Edna?”
Faith had felt her tense up. She always got this way when she thought about Him!
She stood, agitated that again, wicked Jesus still had a hold on her temper and emotions.
She said “nothing”.
Faith kept quiet and then had a bright idea!
“Have I ever told you the story of my birth?”
Edna said nothing so Faith went on in a bid to lighten her mood.
“So my parents were very old-fashioned. They attributed every good thing to a supreme God sitting in Heaven. Even this house they say He gave to them.. hmmph!
Anyway, the story goes that my old man and mom were barren for 16years.
On the 16th year a minister came to town named D.L Moody and they went to his services.
He singled them out and asked them if they believed that God could still bless them with the gift of the womb. They said nothing at first but then looked at each other and nodded their heads. He told them to have faith and moved on to the next person.
The very next month mom found out that they were pregnant and named me Faith.
The story would have appealed to me if it wasn’t so funny.
I tried to fit in with this God and be a good girl but when cook touched me at 12, I was ruined for cook, I knew that I could never be good enough for this God and so I decided to forgo Him forever.
I only left the name as a sign of respect to my parents.”
She laughed, expecting to see Edna’s laughter too but Edna was boiling. Why won’t this God leave her alone?
Why was He bent on invading her thoughts? Even stealing into her conversations through Faith.
She faked a smile and told Faith she needed to take a nap and went upstairs. Faith wouldn’t understand if she told her she felt Jesus pursuing her. She would think she was a lunatic.
She lay on her bed fuming and then again, she heard her dad’s voice..
“Edna girly, guess what Jesus did today? He sent the rain we prayed for at the breakfast table!”
Her dad’s laugh resounded in her head as he took her hands and spinned her around their farm-house even as He screamed “thank you Jesus!”
Thank you Jesus..
Thank you Jesus..
Thank you Jesus?
Where was Jesus?
How do I know that you love me?
The tears streamed down her face unrestrained.
She cried herself to sleep.
All of a sudden she saw Him in a brilliant light with glory radiating from Him.
He was smiling at her at first and then He raised His hands.. they were blood stained. There were large holes in the middle of His palm and they were dripping blood.
As she watched, the blood became a pool around His feet and as she looked down, she saw her name written in the middle of the blood at His feet, “Edna”.
She woke up with tears in her eyes.
All of a sudden she felt broken from the inside out. Jesus wasn’t the enemy; men who had sold themselves out to do satan’s bidding were.
She felt compelled to slide down the side of her bed and kneel. She didn’t have words to say but kept crying.
She thought about the last two years, what did He still want with her?
Why would he still want her?
All of a sudden she saw her dad sitting with her at her swing after she had a fall.
She told him her fingers hurt and he had taken each one to soothe them in his hands.
He placed each little finger in his mouth and told her with his laughing voice, “no one can snatch you out of Jesus’ hands Edna girly”.
Her tears came harder.
She heard her voice coming in waves of her sobs. All she heard herself saying was “Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus”.
She didn’t know how long she knelt there but she called on Jesus till she felt His hands around her.
She got up and sat on her dresser. All of a sudden she knew that she couldn’t stay in the house with Faith anymore.
She had heard Jesus say “redeem them for me Edna, there are others like you”.
She took a paper and ink and wrote to Faith.
She wrote down her full story up until 5 minutes ago and told her she had to go.
She packed her bags, and as walked past Faith’s room, she could hear her singing in the tub.
She raised her hands to knock on the door and dropped it. She couldn’t face her. Instead she dropped the letter in Faith’s ashtray in the sitting room.
She would go back to the countryside. Her dad’s sister was still alive. She would find her and try to do what Jesus said to do: “redeem others like you for me”.
She didn’t know where to start but she knew that she couldn’t continue with her old life anymore.
She walked with her two bags in her hands. The train station was empty when she got there.
She struggled. She heard Faith’s cries in her head along with the memory of her promising Faith “I will never leave you”.
And just as suddenly, she saw Jesus’ bloody hands in her mind. It was etched in her heart.
She knelt down with her bags on either side of her and she cried from the depth of her soul, “Jesus I was made to love you. I was born to be your lover. Take me. I have been a lover of others for so long. Now I want to be a lover of you. Take me. Take me”.
“Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
Luke 7:47 NKJV
Read: Luke 7: 37-50
1: Do you love Jesus?
2: Do you think that you are too far gone for Jesus to bother with you?
What have you done? Write them down.
3: Jesus said: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”
Matthew 9:13 NKJV
Jesus wants you.
4: Like Edna, let His love wrap your heart securely. All you need to do is accept His love.
“But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
Romans 10:8-10 NKJV
5: JESUS WANTS YOU. All you need to do is to believe and accept Him into your heart.
Lord Jesus, you word says you will have me despite my past and present sins.
Your word says you will accept me if I come to you.
Please forgive me of my sins Lord. Please forgive me. I believe you died for my sins, please come into my life and be my Lord and saviour.
I was made to love you. I am sorry I have spent years being a lover of others.
Today I sign up to be a lover of you.
Take me as a lover of you, Jesus.
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