How’s your week been so far?
You don’t wanna know how mine has been, but all I will say is that I’ve got time on my hands, enough to yearn for a week of just writing, blogging, traveling and sightseeing another African country(story for another day) 🙂
A friend of mine who just started her blog wrote a blog post about being single/married this week.
You can read the post here but the gist of it all is basically whether any other relationship status exists apart from being single or married.
I commented on the post and said that it depends on the parties. You know when a relationship is just there and leading nowhere but still, technically, a woman is single till she is married as anything can happen before then(break up)
But then, I also said that a better way to work past all this “am I taken or not” is to be in purposeful relationships.
Now, I could think up some physical relationships right now that are purposeful(cc @doctorkanayo and her boo) but let’s go back to the book of all relationships and love stories shall we?
Yes, for our #OnlineBibleStudy today, we will be learning from the Bible itself on love and relationships. It would amaze you as to what kind of invaluable lessons on love and relationships that we can learn from the Word.
And I didn’t intend to publish this study, I had another one in my head but Genesis 24(Isaac and Rebekah’s love story) kept ringing in my head yesterday.
I have written a series of lessons on it before and you can read them here, here, here and here (go on and click on them, it will open up in another page, so you can still read this one here) but let’s go down into what we can study from them again today.
So Genesis 24 opens with Abraham asking his servant to go and look for a wife for Isaac.
“Abraham was now a very old man, and the lord had blessed him in every way. One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the man in charge of his household, âTake an oath by putting your hand under my thigh. Swear by the lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac.â
The servant got to Abraham’s homeland and the first thing he did was to pray(there’s a lesson there but let’s not get distracted from the main lesson today, pick up your personal lessons too as you study along pls)
As soon as he finished praying(the words were even still in his mouth), Rebekah comes bouncing along And did all the servant had asked God that the woman he chose for Isaac should do.
“O lord, God of my master, Abraham,â he prayed. âPlease give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water. This is my request. I will ask one of them, âPlease give me a drink from your jug.â If she says, âYes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!ââlet her be the one you have selected as Isaacâs wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.â Before he had finished praying, he saw a young woman named Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel, who was the son of Abrahamâs brother Nahor and his wife, Milcah.”
Abraham’s sevant still didn’t talk the her all the while she was giving his camels water to drink, he watched her for a while(hint-there’s another lesson here too).
Finally Abraham’s servant spoke to her and then gave her gifts and followed her to her house when her brother Laban came out(please read the whole story for yourself, can’t paste it all here)
When he was offered food though, he refused to eat it until he told them what his mission was.
“So the man went home with Laban, and Laban unloaded the camels, gave him straw for their bedding, fed them, and provided water for the man and the camel drivers to wash their feet. Then food was served. But Abrahamâs servant said, âI donât want to eat until I have told you why I have come.ââAll right,â Laban said, âtell us.â
And that’s where the lesson I want to hammer on today stems from.
I got to that part of the chapter and I wrote in my journal, “a man on a mission wastes no time. He has eyes only for purposeful dating/courtship”
Now, this kind of man isn’t there to test the waters, he knows what he wants.
This man has gotten confirmation from God that you are the one for him and when he comes to you, he comes with one purpose in mind – we are courting to know ourselves better before we get married. We already know that God has chosen us for each other.
Now, that kind of relationship, you aren’t married yet, but you know where you guys are headed, so you can say that “I’m with someone” because it’s not just anyone you are with.
Now, this is way different from how the world dates.
The world tests the waters so you can see a woman saying that I am single, but she has that guy she always spends her time with, one that she says “I love you” to everyday but still, she doesn’t know what the future of the relationship is, so she simply says I am single to every other man that comes along.
But the ideal christian courtship is to get confirmation from God before you even step out an inch with anyone.
Those of you who are regular blog readers have read enough of my love letters to know that I have resigned my love life to God. Right from the moment a man starts to show me extra attention, I go to God in prayers.
I’m sorry(I’m actually not sorry about it.lol) but I’m not doing anything about dating and marriage outside of God’s will – its too much for me to handle on my own.
I don’t have time to waste on midnight calls, unnecessary dates and giving my heart to someone that my Daddy hasn’t said yes to.
If I must court anyone, then it must be a purposeful relationship, one where we have both gotten confirmation that God has purposed that we be together.
I don’t have time to test the waters, just as abraham’s servant didn’t have the time to test the waters.
If the foundation of a thing isn’t right, then it can never stand. You can start with all the “getting to know each other better” but if God’s consent isn’t in it, all it ends in is heartache(it’s even worse when it ends in marriage without God’s consent)
Most of the heartaches we face today arise from these “test and go relationships”
You like him, he likes you so you start dating. But what about God?
Does He like(want) both of you to be together?
Instead of dating aimlessly, why don’t we focus on our single selves and throw ourselves fully into living purposefully for God?Â And #WAIT.
I have made up my mind to wait till God says it’s time. Changing facebook relationship status everytime doesn’t appeal to me at all.
I am only up for purposeful courtship like Isaac and Rebekah’s.
It’s important to note that a man who wants you for real won’t waste time with telling you what he wants so you can make up your mind too.
Cc Boaz, Abraham’s servant, Isaac, etc.
Abraham’s servant didn’t even eat first and notice that Isaac took Rebekah as his wife immediately she was brought to him, no dilly dallying around.
” And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarahâs tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother.”
I can imagine Rebekah telling her friends this story.
The Bible says that she was old enough to be married but wasn’t married yet.
I can imagine her giving friends the gist…
“Oh babes, you would not believe what happened today. God absolutely changed my marital story in the space of less than 24 hours. I just simply went out to fetch water and guess what? The weirdest miracle happened. I almost can’t believe it myself.”
There’s another lesson there for us too…
Stop worrying about where the man will find you, God will order your footsteps to meet each other when the time is right.
Stop worrying about how God will work it all out.
Stop worrying about not being in a relationship yet. That your friend has a boyfriend for 4years running now doesn’t mean that she will get married before you.
It’s not a race for who gets married first but when God is ready for you, it won’t take years to bring it all together.
He will come all out and make all things beautiful in that time for you.
I personally have told God that I don’t want a long courtship(I hail those who date for long) but my desire is for Isaac and Rebekah’s kind of love story.
Mine may not be as fast though, but one year tops.
Isaiah 30:21 is my prayer and confession for this.(feel free to adopt it)
“Your own ears will hear him.Right behind you a voice will say,âThis is the way you should go,âwhether to the right or to the left.”
That as soon as we meet, I will know and He will know that we are God’s chosen for each other.
There will be no confusion, the Spirit’s voice will be clear to me and him.
Yes, I want to court purposefully, knowing that the relationship has one end in sight – marriage.
Not jumping from one courtship to another But letting God lead.
If God doesn’t say move, I’m staying put.
Remember how Abraham’s servant just kept quiet till he was certain Rebekah was the one? That’s instructional for us too.
There’s a period of waiting to be sure of it all and that period is not to be spent jumping from dates to dates with him/her, but it should be spent waiting on God.
Some of us sadly use this period to get so close to each other that we develop feelings for each other, thus we won’t even be sure if it’s God’s speaking or our heart speaking.
The period of waiting for confirmation isn’t for us to talk for hours on end on the phone but to talk and listen to God.
Else we will give our heart away and confuse the signals that we are getting.
No, let’s take a cue from the love stories in the Bible and let God teach us on relationships from His word.
You can do what I did yesterday, just pick up your Bible, read love stories of Isaac and Rebekah, Boaz and Ruth, even Joseph and Mary, there are so many lessons in those stories that will help us set our thinking straight.
I wrote on Isacc and Rebekah’s love story in 4 different posts last year and see now, a year later, I am still getting multiple lessons from it and there are more in there still, just in one chapter.
Get your Bible and delve into it. Ask God to open your eyes to see the lessons in there for your relationship and marital life and let God teach you from His word.
He has a wealth of knowledge in it all – afterall, He created marriage.
Fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, let us stop the jumping from one relationship to another.
Come to the point where if God’s confirmation isn’t given to you, you don’t roll out the drums on any relationship.
Stop wasting precious time you could use to discover and start fulfilling your purpose on earth.
Let us please have more men and women who will put God first even in their love lives.
Watch, and pray for confirmation before you move.
I pray that God will help us all and strengthen us even while we WAIT for ONLY his chosen one for us in Jesus name, amen!
And of course, you know that I would love to know what you got as you read Genesis 24. My rhema isn’t complete without learning more from you too(the power of fellowship)
Please read the whole story in the chapter for today and share with us in the comment section below on what you got in your heart as you studied along.
I’m waiting! 🙂
Till our next Bible Study,
P.S – I wrote on the purpose of relationships/marriage last year and no, it’s not just meant for sex and love, it’s meant for more.
See the post here, I know that it would help us all.
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