Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Let’s Talk About Breaking Soul Ties

Dear Single ladies and gentlemen,

I don’t think that I have ever told you guys about the journey to being free from the boyfriend with whom I had the whole abortion deal with (trust me even I sometimes I am tired of my story, I go “Lord again??” But it seems like the Lord wants to use me as a guinea pig to help others and that’s fine, so far as it helps).

Leaving that relationship was such a struggle.

We had had so much done together that at first I was scared about how I was going to live alone. The tie was that strong.

I remember when I finally had the courage to break the relationship and go the God, but the tie was still so strong, I would find myself wanting to call him, etc, etc.

I knew God had said no to him and he was wrong for me but somehow my brain couldn’t register the truth.

I will forever be grateful to a friend who told me that I should give it time and not run back as it gets easier with time and she was right.

But time wasn’t the only thing that broke the soul tie I had with that guy.

It was only later that I even knew that it was called a soul tie.

Let's talk about breaking soul ties Click To Tweet


A soul tie is what crops up between two people who have had a sexual relationship with each other or have shared their lives so much, maybe without sex but now have an emotional attachment to each other.

They feel like they cannot live without the other person.

And even when they know that this person is bad for them and God has said no to the person, they find themselves going back to what they have said they won’t go back to.


Now emotional soul ties exist but one common way soul ties spring up is through sex.

Yes, sex isn’t just a physical deal.


“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”

-1Corinthians 6:16


When you have sex with someone, you share your very life with that person. You are bonded on a deeper level. That’s the way God created sex to be but He did this on purpose because its a required attribute for married couples. They need it to bond and be united in their lives together at the very core of who they are.

So anytime you have sex with one who isn’t your husband, you forge this bond with that person.

When God says no and you can’t seem to agree with his no to this person, it is the soul tie speaking.

One common way soul ties spring up is through sex. Click To Tweet


So now you are born again and you don’t want to do anymore, but you cannot seem to stop and say NO.

You really want to but you find yourself calling the guy/girl despite all your good intentions to really follow God.

No judgement zone here, I have been there before.


Let’s talk about what helped me:


  1. I really desired to be free of this person/my past life

    The first thing that works with the breaking of soul ties is your desire.

What do you really want?

In your heart of hearts, is it God you want or you still want this man/girl who God has expressly asked you to leave?

If you desire to really leave this guy/girl then that’s what God can work with. A heart that really wants to please Him, follow Him and let go of the past.

I was tired of this guy with whom my destiny wasn’t being let out as it should. I knew that there was a new life in Christ and I wanted the new life badly.

Do you want the new life in Christ badly enough?

Do you want the new life in Christ badly enough? Click To Tweet

2: The word of God was my weapon:

I admit that I didn’t know the power in the word until later on and it wasn’t really used deliberately by me.

I simply threw myself into reading God’s word and that helped to transform me.But in recent times I have found out that declaring the word in authority and taking what belongs to you in Christ against soul ties work.

The Bible says that you are a new creature in Christ Jesus when you become born again.

It also says that you do not belong to the kingdom that you were once in anymore.


“[The Father] has delivered and drawn us to Himself out of the control and the dominion of darkness and has transferred us into the kingdom of the Son of His love,…”

-Colossians 1:13


I love this amplified version!


So when you feel ties from the old drawing you back, the answer isn’t to give in and give up and say ‘we are soul mates”.

Take that word and declare it.

“Jesus has delivered me from the kingdom of darkness, everything in my past including soul ties have no hold over me anymore!”


This is what I do even in times when satan tries to bring dreams that want to draw me back into sexual addictions.

Oh I still stay guarding my victory over the demon of lust.

I declare the word of God and you should too.

If you really want to break this soul tie between you and someone in the past, take the word as your weapon and fight with it.

I declare the word of God against soul ties and you should too. Click To Tweet

3: I exchanged the things we used to do for the things of God:

We used to go everywhere together.So when I left him I began to go everywhere with Jesus.

I threw myself back into Church, never missed a meeting (convicted on this now because I have been missing week day services) I joined a unit and was just on fire for God.

I began a personal walk with Jesus in fellowship, daily quiet times, etc.

I basically did an about turn on my old life.

You cannot want to break a soul tie and still do the things you were doing before.


There has to be an exchange of the life you had before for God. Click To Tweet

You cannot leave that space empty, you gotta fill it up with God.


4: I unfriended him on every social media platform and stopped following his activities:

The truth is that our eyes are gates. What you see you crave. What you taste you want more of.

I discovered that he couldn’t still be in my space.

If I wanted to be free I had to be free indeed.

So I deleted and cleansed my space. No ex there, only the future.

I stopped talking to him at school too. I wasn’t keeping malice with him, I was protecting my space and my heart till I was healed.

The space I was in didn’t allow for dilly-dallying with him. God had to heal me and cut me off from the past and it entailed letting it go totally.


5: Time does heal all wounds:

My friend was right.

In doing all the above, I went from thinking about him multiple times in a day to thinking about him once in like a green moon.

But for some people time rolls along and they still find themselves tied with the past girlfriend/boyfriend, so they erroneously think that that person may be the one.

No, it is still the soul tie talking.

You allowed time to just pass by without doing all the above I just stated.

They all go hand in hand.


If you want to break a soul tie, God must be the one who you are exchanging for the past and not will power.

You must actively be declaring the word and saying “no” to whatever ties that bound you with someone who isn’t your husband or wife.


Don’t give up.


Start afresh again by saying a sincere prayer to God:

Lord I want you.

I want you.

Not this man/woman.

I want you to be the one I pant for.

But I can’t help myself, help me Lord.

Be the one I am yoked with.

Cut and severe every tie, every yoke between me and (call their names). Keep me fully wrapped up in you God. Im Jesus name I have prayed, amen.




Desire to be free.

Use the Word as your weapon.

Throw yourself into God.

Close doors between  you and this person.

And don’t give up or give in.


God breaks every yoke and soul tie.

He helped me break mine and He can help you too.


Till our next love letter,




Don't give up on breaking soul ties from exes.Let God help you Click To Tweet
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  • Reply
    January 29, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    Thanks for this Frances. This is something I’m currently struggling with but God is helping me and your post reslly hit home!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      January 30, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Thank God Onyinye.
      Don’t give up. DON’T go back. STick with God. HE breaks all yoke

  • Reply
    Cindy Torres
    August 16, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    So thankful for this post Frances! I was praying to find a blog that would speak directly to my struggle and your blog did that! May the Lord continue to bless your gift. <3

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      August 16, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Oh Cindy.. so thankful that Daddy used this to speak to you.
      Praying your grace in the Lors to severe what needs to be severed in the place of the word and prayer.

      Amen and amen to your prayer. God bless you sis

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