My recent article on Bella Naija (click I Am Not Looking For A Boyfriend! I Only Want To Talk About Business )
got me thinking about virtue and character.
And one would ask how writing on a site will get one thinking about character and virtue.
My recent article on BN reminded of some of my earlier articles on BN like the “My Cooking Skills Do Not define Me” and “Imperfectly Perfect“
Those articles had so much backlash directed at me in the comment section – so much backlash that certainly would have made me cry if I wasn’t so strong.
And the most recent article had a little bit of those kind of harsh comments too.
It had strangers calling me “smur smur girl that just rushes to put fancy words down”
And “a girl who has fancy ideas of princes in shining armor”
All these from people who do not know me but somehow came to wrong conclusions about me just from a single article(an article which they had misconstrued)
I remember a certain mother bashing me on the “Imperfectly Perfect” article because I had called my eyes “half past eyes”
I remember how hard it was to reply her with a sensible comment too then.
And sincerely, my first retort wasn’t something pretty, but I had to think before I wrote anything back in response and I am glad I did so.
And that’s the same thing I did with the comments on the “I am not looking for a boyfriend…” article.
It got me thinking and tweeting some stuff and then I realized that this is actually better shared under our “Christian writers/bloggers category” on the blog.
It arose from my article on BN but the lessons I got was on more than writing on BN.
Here’s the deal…
If you write for God, you will ALWAYS get backlash from people about what you are writing about.
On this blog, we somehow have got awesome blog readers/followers who always leave such heart warming compliments(thank you all), but I remember sometime last year when I just started writing on lessons God was teaching me on relationships.
I had comments making jabs at my age and being young and naive for believing that God actually writes love stories(I still haven’t gotten around to writing the article about age and wisdom…)
And I realized then as I do now too, that no matter what, I can’t reply such persons in the same tone they used to speak to me.
Because the minute I do that, the next thing you will hear is “and you say that you are a Christian”
There somehow is a higher level of good character/virtue expected from a Christian.
Now, I have never always had the polite replies thing on fleek.
I remember some years back, my strong point was my mouth/hands.
I could use it and use it WELL in giving a good backlash.
I mean, you dare not speak to me anyhow and not get a well couched insult in reply.
But that was then, this is now.
It’s actually almost surprising that I am now someone who thinks before they write back a reply to someone.
How was this change wrought in me?
Well, somehow, in the 1 + year of writing/blogging for God on this blog, that change has been wrought in me.
And I still don’t understand how it happened.
How is it possible that God molded some of my flaws in the process of my using my gift for Him?
Well, it happened and it can happen for you too.
Christian writers(or even if you aren’t a Christian writer, you can learn from this too), can be molded in character through using their gifts for God.
All of a sudden, you can’t type some sort of harsh replies to comments on your blog.
You stop, think, put yourself in their shoes before you reply people.
You use wisdom when you type out responses.
You let your words to always be wrapped with kindness and have a word in season for everyone.
You become selfless and not selfish.
These can only happen if you let God build you as you use your gift of writing for Him.
Isn’t it awesome that God is this awesome?
He will build your life even as you serve Him with your gift.
He doesn’t just require that you serve Him for nothing, He washes you through your flaws and molds you even in that service.
In Mobolaji’s words, “He beautifies you”.
One day you wake up and you don’t say anything harsh to anyone anymore, you just can’t find it in you to do that.
How did that happen?
He built that in you even as you wrote/blogged for Him in your own little space of the internet.
It’s amazing that God can do great stuffs in our lives even in that little place that He placed us in.
He will cause you to flourish and overwhelm you with His hands even as He molds you in that little space of your blog.
So if you are wondering whether you are making any difference with your Christian blog, wonder no more.
God is making a difference in your life even now.
He is building character, relationship skills, communication skills, respect for others…in you even as you write/blog for Him.
I have seen it happen in my own life.
And I did nothing intentional to achieve it.
I just woke up one day and found out that I had no desire to backlash those who left harsh comments on my articles.
Me, the champion talkative, the talkative… I had no desire to be harsh to anyone over the internet.
How did that happen?
God made it happen.
Even as I blogged/wrote for Him.
And He will build character in you too even as you blog/write for Him.
Don’t ever think that you are achieving nothing with that writing talent He has given to you.
If for nothing, He is molding and beautifying you and soon, very soon, you will find your little flaws all fading away even as you use your gift of writing for God.
God bless us all as we continue to write for Him and place Him first in our lives.
MobolajiMay 25, 2015 at 3:11 pm
Thanks so much for this! I can’t say it’s very easy to keep one’s cool when people leave unnecessary mean comments. People can be really wicked with comments, but we wouldn’t be any different if we keep replying like them.
It’s true that as we use what God has given us, we become ‘beautified’. You just wake one day, look back and realize God has worked on you so much; that things that are logical and normal to man are no longer normal to you.
As we use our different gifts, May God’s glory shine brighter in our lives.
Frances OkoroMay 25, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Amen and amen Bolaji.
May we continually be beautified as we function in where God wants us to be…
Have a blessed week ahead sis!
Princess OkechukwuMay 25, 2015 at 7:59 pm
This is such a timely post, when I have just put up a post and some negatives thoughts seem to raise their ugly heads. I thank God for you.
And you are so right. Since, I came into the knowledge of who I am in Christ, I have come to realize that the more I proclaim- ‘I am for Christ’; people will deliberately provoke you to get the opportunity to say: ‘and you call yourself a Christian’.
I am always reminded of Colossians 4 v 6: Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone…… The truth is, it is not easy to just keep quiet or willfully turn a blind eye to insults, but then again, our mirror [Christ] was called all sorts and He never retaliated.
May we continue to work in this grace. Amen.
Frances OkoroMay 25, 2015 at 9:56 pm
Oh thank you Princess…
The Words “remember Jesus” should ring in our hearts each and everytime.
He never retaliated, He never spoke back(wowzers right?!
And He’s working in us to get to that stage still, even now.
And thank you so much for sharing that Bible passage.
Keep writing for God, He’s got you!
uniqueruthMay 25, 2015 at 8:07 pm
People can be so mean. I actually read ‘imperfectly perfect’ and the other one about cooking at that time, and meeehhnnn… Me wey dem no talk to jus dey vex. It was really ugly. But i thank God for the grace he gave you, and keeps giving you to keep your cool, cos, it ain’t easy o. More Grace!
Frances OkoroMay 25, 2015 at 10:00 pm
You got it right Ruth, grace…grace has got me(us), if not, the harsh words we spill back will just be an ugly blot on the faith we profess. but God won’t let it be, as we let Him mold us, He will take care of it all…
ChukwumaMay 25, 2015 at 9:52 pm
Yes thats all! All said! You know when you devote yourself to serving God fully with all you’ve got, you must expect attack dogs. They aren’t recieving your messages, they are just there to see that little blunder, that unnoticed mistake you are bound to make due to been imperfect and they attack you there.
I was with an evangelist, he was planning his marriage. While we discussed, he sang a love lyrics written by an unbeliever, and then a lady by our side took it up and said, ‘you also sing this kind of songs’. At that point he pointed out to me and said, ‘that is why we christian leaders should be careful, because any single step you took is monitored by side watch dogs, waiting for when you will mismatch’. That i agree and its applicable to christian bloggers as well.
I made up my mind to not be carried away by holding persons in admiration as a blogger. I recieved a ministration one day as i blogged that i will recieve numerous backslashes and hateful comments and mails as i venture into blogging what God wants spread.
The only way of escape as revealed to me was praying for, ‘ . . . A meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of the Lord, a great price’.
Nice reading your tips!
Frances OkoroMay 25, 2015 at 10:08 pm
And oh, this is why I love the comments, learning from others, thanks Chukwuma.
A gentle and quiet spirit..truly, without that, we would just be totally razz with words and attitude.
God help us all to represent Christ as we should in wherever He has placed us…
kekeMay 26, 2015 at 1:32 pm
I have read those comments and It is a true testament that you never backlash them but reply with grace that they themselves cannot understand unless they write and live for God. Keep blogging and writing with your gift of word to soothe and bring rest to hearts.
Frances OkoroMay 26, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Oh Keke…I’ve missed you..*hugs and hugs*
Hope you are doing great? 🙂
As God gives us grace, we will strive to represent Him as we should wherever He has placed us..and yes, even as we write for Him…
Thank you so much for your encouraging words…
kekeMay 27, 2015 at 1:51 pm
I am great. Thanks Frances
Tope BANKSMay 27, 2015 at 12:57 am
Oh my goodness I just read your post on BN and was thanking God for you. There will always be critic but God uses those people to refine us and take us higher! People are entitled to their opinions but it is Gods opinion and instruction that matters at the end of the day!
Frances OkoroMay 28, 2015 at 5:57 pm
I think when we really let this sink in..that na only God last last, the harsh words will stop getting to us/wet see them as anything.
#grace to get to that point..amen!