Lessons From When I Almost Dated An Engaged Man

Dear single ladies,
How una dey?
I hope you are not that shocked about the title up there?
If you are, then there maybe need for you to read our about blog page here.
We are imperfectly perfect lives remember?
My own human frailties is as bad as yours, it is only by God’s grace that they are overcome and I am renewed from the inside out.

 
The story you are about to read is true, real and I will be as sincere with this as I was with red lips story.
But all the lessons can’t possibly be drilled out of it today.
We will continue with this next week.

I do love God I tell you.
I love how He takes the bad and ugly and turns it around for good.
Who knew that lessons could be drawn from this “almost mistake”?
Who knew that this incident will answer the question of “How do I know that I won’t make mistakes maritally?”
I think a better way to phrase that question is “how do I know that God still won’t let me marry the wrong person even after I trust him?

You must have read this post where we talked about having faith in God for our love story but some persons always want tangible proof that God will come through for them and that’s alright. Maybe my own experience will convince you.

 
I had a kind of friend while in Law School last year. You know that kind of friend that trips for you but has a girlfriend, a girlfriend of 8years running… but you know that he likes you(maybe even loves in a twisted way)
This guy was good, nice and he was generous to a fault.
He always used to give me money and buy all sorts of stuff for me with no strings attached.
I mean he said he wanted me as just a friend because he couldn’t cheat on his girlfriend and I thought, cool, we can be friends.

 
Well, guess what?
When you start spending lots of time with a guy, you go out, go to church today, go out to ice cream factory tomorrow, sit in class together, talk and talk after class, feelings will surely grow.

 
So this “friend” and I had feelings between us even though we were friends.
And I just felt God tugging at my heart to break things off.
God used this experience to teach me about guarding my heart and about so many other things I will share in the next letter but let’s focus on today’s lesson.

 
So, I felt God telling me to leave this “friendship”.
You know God knows us even better than we know ourselves… all the feelings we have, He knows.
I used to get jealous when this guy talked to other girls (covers face) and he too used to get mad when guys talked and laughed with me.
One day, as we were fighting over something, I just started feeling bad, I knew God was telling me again to break things off.
I just started crying and sent a message to a mentor.
I was supposed to go to Redeem holy Ghost congress that night and the Holy Spirit was just convicting me all through the ride to camp.
I wept and wept like a baby.
I gave all the reasons why he is just a friend(rationalizing things) but God was having none of it.
The conclusion was let this “friend” go.
The answer I got from my mentor was the same thing with what God told me.

 
I rationalized and cried and I wish I can say I obeyed immediately… well I did try to obey immediately but when I told my friend I didn’t want us to be friends again, he begged and begged and said please, we are just friends, please and I said alright(I took man’s word above God’s word)
But I wasn’t at peace.
I couldn’t pray. When I raised songs like “Lord you are my everything”, He said I am not your all if you place “him” above me.

 
A certain day, this my “friend” was going out with another lady friend of his when he said he would see me at that time and I was madly mad.
I walked down to use the ATM not because I wanted to use it but because I wanted him to see that I saw him with his lady friend.
As I was walking back to my hostel, the Holy Spirit was just saying, “and you say you guys are not in a relationship…”
I felt so pathetic, trailing a guy… I just stood in the car park, angry at God’s voice that kept convicting me and I almost screamed “what do you want me to do???(I actually said it out loud)
And He said, “let go”.
That same night, I told my friend that I didn’t want the friendship anymore and he quarreled, then begged, called me, sent messages… I saw him in class everyday… it was hard but I knew what God wanted me to do, so there was no going back.

So what am I trying to tell you with this story?
I want you to know that if you listen to the Spirit in you, you won’t make mistakes.
Your experience may not be as strong as mine where the Holy Spirit was literally dragging my ear…
It may be a feeling of things not just being right.
It maybe your not having peace with the relationship or “friendship”.
It maybe the still small voice of doubt…
But I plead, listen to it.
If you are God’s own… if you have allowed God to direct your paths maritally, you cannot make mistakes. This I know with all of my heart.
God won’t let you make mistakes, it’s our own stubborn minds that entangles us in wrong relationships.

 
Of course you know that for you to be able to listen to the Spirit in you, you need to grow in God and tune your spiritual antenna.
The flesh cannot receive from God so as you pray for God to direct your paths maritally, also direct your spiritual life to grow in Him.
That way, you cannot miss a sign in the Spirit, no way.

 
Like my experience, the Spirit may convict you for 3hours where you cry and rationalize your relationship with Him, or He may just whisper to you that this relationship isn’t right.
Either ways, you can trust God to always tell you when a relationship isn’t for you.
That’s when you have dropped it all in His hands and you really desire Him to take control.

 
But I know this with all my heart, God won’t let us make mistakes maritally.
He literally pulls us out of wrong entanglements. It maybe painful but we would know in the future that it’s the best.
He loves us, cares about us and wants to only give us His chosen for us.
And oh, when we see His chosen for us, we will be sure glad that we followed His lead.

As always, you can talk to me in the comment section below.
And read this post to indeed start up this year with your relationship story in God’s hands.

And the second part of these lessons will be posted in our next love letter.
Until then, subscribe to receive my love letters below 🙂

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I love you all,
Frances.

PS – I need your prayers oh. I don’t know what it is with people toasting corpers like it’s no man’s business. I can’t smile again without someone telling me rubbish. Even married men sef.

I don’t want any wife to pour me acid because of a silly man that won’t leave me alone.(if I tell you guys my experience yesterday eh)

I’m even considering going makeup less.

Pray for me, if it’s for their eyes to be blinded to me, better. Because this silly trend with just pursuing corpers is… silly(for lack of a better word)

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