Pathway To A Great Marital Life

So my roomate is a very funny girl. She regales us in the room with these crazy stories of her toasters..
For example, there was one guy that said he wanted to marry her and the guy was flashing her like no man’s business. One day, she just picked up her phone to call him, with no laugh on her face and speaking with serious passion, she said – “why are you always flashing me na, is this the way they do relationships? Why? Why?”
I just started laughing uncontrollably when I heard that. Kai!
Another guy

told her that her not calling him when she said she would means that she is not submissive.

Kai! Men, Lord knows I love you all but some of the stuff some of you do just blow my mind.
You know I met one of you when I was jogging one morning and on the evening of that day the guy was saying that I look good enough to be his wife. For where? Do you know me? Do you know what I am capable of? Some I haven’t even met physically, just because you read my stuff which I am glad blesses you, you think I should be your wife.
I met one who I had not even known for up to three weeks who was asking me to come and spend the night with him. Even if you don’t want to do anything “bad” with me, what kind of decent girl spends the night with one kain man?
I spend plenty of my time attending christian seminars on relationships, reading things on christian homes, listening to christian messages, asking for advise from godly seniors, praying that God should revamp my mind about what relationships and marriage should be like just so I won’t make mistakes. So I won’t say “no more love” when I am in the marriage just because I didn’t understand it all before I jumped in.
I think men should try same too.
Men need to have mentors, not just for business but for marital life also.
Men need to read Ephesians 5:25 and understand what submission means. They need to understand that the man and woman were enjoined by Paul to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. They need to understand that for the men this means for them to love their wives and for the women it means to respect their husbands.
They need to understand that they shouldn’t quote it out of context.
My roommate’s toaster and his fellow people that think like him need to know that not calling you(when I have not even agreed for you) doesn’t mean that I am not submissive.
Men have to change their mind sets and realize that they should be more like Abraham’s servant in Genesis 24.
Pray before you approach that woman. Just because she seems all that doesn’t mean that she is God’s choice for you. Make sure before you approach her. And let the mind set of “let’s just date, we will know where we are going at the end” not find its place in you.
There’s nothing like that in the Bible, Boaz didn’t string Ruth along, he knew he wanted her and made plans for that. He didn’t ask her to just date him and they will find out later. We ladies maybe young but we are also too old to date aimlessly. Please help us help ourselves.
I love men.
I love good, godly, sensible, hard working, honest (and fit) men.
And I think we need more of them.
As christian single women try to learn about relationships and marriages so we don’t make mistakes, can you guys please try too?
Pretty pretty please?
Let most of those mind sets that won’t help us be revamped. Please dearies?
Thank you.
Remember, my people perish for lack of knowledge. Let our relationships/marriages in the future not perish for lack of knowledge in Jesus name, amen.
Please, get wisdom and in all your getting, get understanding.

Btw, as much as I love the kind of men I outlined up there. Here’s my pm on BBM and another kind of man I love +my prayer to God…
“Shebi Lord you see me working out&trying to keep fit? Please deep calleth unto deep.Let my deep call unto a fit man oh, not one with plenty belly.PLS.”
#Don’t judge me with that pm, it’s a serious prayer point. Lol
Have a merry weekend everyone!  =-D

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  • Reply
    Charles Williams
    May 23, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    One simple theology that I work with in this regard is the creation story and the place of man in the scheme of things… God commanded man to dominate the earth and subdue it ( this was before women came into the picture).
    Therefore, women are not meant to be subdued which is what many men hope for… I wonder where that idea cane from… I like this post.

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      Ah, I am glad a man is speaking like this. Tell this to some urhobo and ijaw men I know, you will spit at their replies.
      We can only beg them to change oh, and you/those who know the truth, pls spread it, let it go forth

  • Reply
    May 23, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Omg! Roftl. Chaii Frances you will not kill me. with laughter. Sincerely I had met a bunch on crazy guys in my lifetime. I just imagine a guy wanting you to come spend the night with him after meeting him for a day . Kai!

    Thank God those days are over. I also do not support aimless dating ,its like steering a ship with no compass,one will definitely end up lost.
    Don’t worry girl ,the fit guy is coming….

    Awesome post

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Awww, Tosin!!! Been long since you were here. Swinged by your blog already, I miss you much.
      And aimless dating? Nah nah.even 12 year old girls are too old for that. Taking my attention, wasting my time, drawing me away from God and important things I should be doing. Ehn enh!
      And I did see one of your crazy stories on femmetotale’s blog then. Kai, men dey o and we are still praying and begging that they change.biko

  • Reply
    May 23, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    And where do these guys just pop out from? Are they living in the 21st Century at all? I kinda lost it at the submissive thing…lol

    This is a great way to end my week, Frances! You always have something inspiring to say and I’m glad I stalk your blog. 😀
    Also, I’m doing a reader survey for my peeps, and would highly appreciate help with feedback to the questions asked and sharing. Help a sista out 😛
    Thanks! 🙂

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      I stalk your blog too o Maggie, i’ve completed my survey already, will go back and share.
      And you didn’t wonder at the submissiveness thing as much as my roomate did o.she kept asking “God which kain problem be this? What kind of men are these ones coming my way, and we never marry oh”
      It was so funny but the truth is some men need an overhaul in the way they think jare. I really want to see the fact that someday,the better men will be more.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Nice. Then i guess you would love this: Building a beautif marriage-

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      Thanks for the link Emmy, read it already and am glad a male pastor + male young men are reading that too. There’s hope for us. Lol

  • Reply
    shegun Adeoba
    May 23, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Nice write up but am sure Ʋ know that the subjet matter is 50/50, cus if I begin 2 write my personal expirence about ladies Ʋ will be amaze. We all need 2 pray 4 the right partner

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      I know oh Segun. Some men have seen pepper with some women too so I agree with you. Everyone should get knowledge and understanding concerning this issue.
      And I do know God will give me the right partner and I will wait for him too but it wouldn’t hurt for the rest men to still be better men. Things will work better.
      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your first time to comment I know. Lol.

  • Reply
    May 23, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    Nne you wouldn’t have said this any better,no matter how young we are,we are still too old for aimless dating bike.I totally loved the way you passed this message across with humour.Always on point my dear..I beef you the more.. *smiles*

    • Reply
      May 23, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      We must settle this beef abi kpomo soon Presh. True. Lol
      Your comments are always refreshing to see,as usual. *muah*

  • Reply
    1 + The One
    May 23, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    LOL.. I love you for this post! Men please heed this and get some relationship mentoring pleaseeee… Amen!

  • Reply
    May 23, 2014 at 7:04 pm


    But it’s fact you’ve just spilled out though!

    God bless ya

  • Reply
    Temitope Ogunyinka
    May 23, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Seriously men need to read more books on relationship and marriage…now a days its only us ladies that do all the reading to gain knowledge while men…..I don’t know…do they feel they know it all or what?
    Love your prayer point (I can’t imagine the pot belly thing…no offense guys) ; you will get ur fit man IJN, Amen.

    • Reply
      August 25, 2014 at 6:34 pm

      I wonder at the lack of men willing to learn about godly relationships and marriages too Temi but things will change, better things are been birthed.amin

  • Reply
    Ochuko A. Akpomudjere
    May 24, 2014 at 9:21 am

    Wow!!! Couldn’t have written this better myself…

    • Reply
      May 24, 2014 at 11:43 am

      Wow! Ochuko, I am super excited that real men such as you agree with this, pls send the message across to your fellow brothers.mentor those you can mentor. We needs it.
      Thanks. *smiles*

  • Reply
    May 24, 2014 at 9:55 am

    You’re such a gracious writer, Frances. I quite agree with you that most men have a long way to go as far as understanding the purpose of marriage and “relationship” is concerned. However, that does not discount the fact that just like you’re attending seminars and seeking godly counsel, many of us are also making conscious efforts towards becoming the God-kind of man. Marriage is not something to be entered into casually; it is something to be deliberately prepared for. Thanks for reminding us of this vital truth.

    • Reply
      May 24, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Thanks Sir Phillip, I am sooo happy that there are men that want to do things right. More grace on us all,amen.
      Thank you

  • Reply
    May 24, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    I wonder why you are surprised at some silly requests made by men ( like asking a lady to spend the night with them on a first day) this is because so many women jump at the chance, you will be amazed at what some women do both married or unmarried. About the marriage seminar thing, it is good to ‘look’ but if you ‘look’ too much and too hard, you might not want to ‘leap’ if you get what I mean. No matter how long the courtship and how much ‘training’ you get before marriage, surprises will still spring up. Just look unto Jesus, do your best, ‘submit’ because you will need to, approach marriage with a clean heart and clean hands and God will do the rest whether the guy has a pot belly or not. Wishing you all he best.

    • Reply
      May 24, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      I am not surprised oh mummy, used it as an example to explain+ we need a change.
      Thank you for your words of wisdom Naija mum.
      My people will say dewo…

  • Reply
    May 24, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    On a lighter note, those flat bellied ‘fine boys’ are high maintenance o, are you ready to cope? You will not be able to go slack on your appearance as well, you will have to be ‘lepa’ to match him, among other things.

    • Reply
      May 24, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Ehn mummy, I nor wan be lekpa oh, just want to be fit.
      I may increase in child birth but I want to be fit more for health sake and the extra benefit than to correlate with the man-for myself first.
      And eh, We will get some physical exercises in and be fit together. More for health sake than for anything.. his flat belly? That’s just extra for the

  • Reply
    May 25, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    dont mind dem
    new post here

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  • Reply
    Theresa Doghor
    October 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    Tis a very honest post

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      October 8, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      Thank you Tessa..tis straight from the

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