I need a change. Any change. Some change. Something to let me know that my life isn’t just wasting away. At least let me get the job and go out like normal people per day…
*sobs and sobs and sobs*
-Tuesday August 16th 2016
I have been dished a lot of lies by satan since this week and I won’t even go into the risk of repeating them.
But even one of the lies was that I should just slither to one place, dump the blog and roll over and play dead, to resurface whenever I feel like…
I have an idea of what triggered this but I won’t even go into that.
The deal is that I have just been struggling with thoughts a lot… with my life making no sense even to me. I have moved past wanting things from God but basically satan took my fear of “is God really in charge of my life” and spinned it into this large Web where I almost got sunk.
So yesterday, it all came to a head with me just pouring out to God (there’s no one else who understands anyway…)…
And before I slept, I stumbled unto this video I had filmed at the beginning of the year and I can’t explain how it helped me…
You can watch it below:
I picked one phrase from my words in that video and that is that “I will trust that He knows what He is doing with my life”.
And so I sat and listened to myself speak about trusting God and said amen as I prayed in that video because truly, I was at a place where it all just clicked.
I was fighting for my trust in Jesus.
And fighting to hold on to the truth that He knows what He is doing with and in my life.
And that phrase made so much sense because, in as much as satan has been bombarding my mind with silly stuff, the one verse/weapon God gave me was Jeremiah 29:11.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you Frances, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
And so every time I sat and poured out before Him, He in turn gave me back that verse.
So I have been camping out there this week.
Reading and meditating on it in the morning, throughout my day and before I sleep at night.
I may not have a semblance of order with the way my life is going right now but SEE! HE THINKS ABOUT ME!
The creator of the universe thinks about me!
And all His thoughts about me are thoughts of good and not evil.
He is currently making plans on how to bring me to the expected end He has planned for me before the beginning of time.
So I have been meditating on that truth over and over.
After my crying sessions (lol), I will pick up my Bible again and read that.
Read it in different versions and just wrap myself around in its truth.
That one verse has been the reason why I have held up sane in the past few days.
I want to first of all say how grateful I am to God that He never leaves us lonely.
As much as we run into Him, He ensures that He calms and stills our weary souls and really, with just a WORD.
I have learnt to shut down and cry to God in bad times. He won’t judge me you know?
He would simply try His best to get me to lay my burden down at His feet and He always succeeds at that job pretty well.
Last night before going to bed, I said “thank you Jesus”.
And again stupid thoughts came in with “what are you thanking God for?”.
Aha! I saw an opportunity to rub it in!
Well, because He has me fixed in the centre of His palm, He is working in my life right now and He never leaves me lonely. He is always with me.
How can I not thank Him?
Ah, satan I am not going down the ingrate route with you!
So why am I sharing this with you all? In an unconventional kind of #OnlineBibleStudy no less?
Because I don’t know if anyone else out there has been thinking hits from wrong thoughts in their minds lately…
It starts from a small thought you know?
And before you know it, you are depressed and scared and crying and satan is laughing because they think that they have got you to lose sight of God and now they can suck your joy, etc, etc.
Girl and guys, just stop right there now!
You can cry and think all you will BUT you must make sure that it ends with you believing God’s truth and not the lies.
Don’t take what satan is dishing out to you!
You’ve got to use this time to dig into God’s Word, get a Word for yourself and let it be ever before you!
Before you go to bed at night, meditate on it and let it wash over you.
When you wake up in the morning, say it out loud to yourself.
Tell God over and over that you chose to believe His word concerning your life and you chose to trust Him.
I have had to have those prayers over and over again..
“I trust you Lord…
I trust you…
I trust you…”
And just because I know that you know what you are doing with and in my life, I will praise you.
Still I say, “THANK YOU JESUS”.
It’s a battle to trust in our Lord dears.
I am in it.
You are in it.
And we have the weapons to win it.
Trust and our faith in God.
And just because I wanna rub it in, again I will end by saying “thank You Jesus!”.
You know what you are doing with our lives and you have good plans for us even though we may not see it, we see YOU and that my Lord is enough for us to believe.
You can say the above words along with me if you are standing at the spot where I am right now.
I love you all dears.
Till our next Online Bible Study,
PS: Like I announced on Monday’s post, I will be starting an email series for all aspiring authors soon.
If you have books in you God wants you to birth, then this is for you.
Subscribe below to be a part of this and see details HERE.
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