My darling single ladies and gentlemen,
Every time I skip a week of writing a letter to you it seems like a whole year has passed by…
I apologize for the lack of Frances’ Love Letter on here last week… I was at Redeem camp and just couldn’t get back in time to write/publish a post.
But it’s all good.
Yesterday after praying for a bit in the morning and telling the Holy Spirit to teach me how to be submissive to my husband… I could feel Him leading me to open up Ephesians 5.
Btw, have you guys realized that when you pray in tongues, prayer points that you never could have thought up just start spilling out of you?
So I didn’t open up my Bible then, I was tired so I went to sleep…
But I woke up again with the Holy Spirit not letting up on submission and Ephesians 5, and this is what I saw.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
-Ephesians 5:21-24 NIV
My notes on it/lessons will be story for another day when I write on the Ephesians 5:25 man and the submissive woman…
But as I read and jotted down lessons all I could do was pray upon myself.
Guys and girls… I have been hit by a need to pray for grace for my marital life in recent times.
I was rushing down from the mainland down to the Island about two weeks back but still had to stop to buy some foodstuff for the home (I live with my brother right now).
And as I did all that running around and still had to meet up with Church, I just found myself thinking of my marital home and praying for grace for this season God wants to take me into soonest.
Beginning of this year when I asked God if this would be my year to get married, He simply said that I have been thinking of what my husband could give me as against me giving to him.
That marriage isn’t a get, get and get, marriage is a give, give and give.
And so when I am tempted to think that “I’d sure love my husband to do this and that for me” I should turn it around to “I’ll sure love to do this and that for him”.
Talk about a 360degrees shift on mind set! (I’ll write on this later)
All these situations coupled with yesterday’s notes on submission has made me see that I cannot be the spouse that will bless my husband without God’s grace helping me to do so.
And it is the same for you too.
See all those plans you have…
I will do this and that for him…
Help him in ministry…
I will help her grow her business…
I won’t nag him…
I will submit whenever he asks me to do so…
I will look well to my household and cook our meals on time…
All those good plans will be nothing without God helping you bring them to pass.
Living with someone turns the game into a different one in totality.
My brother’s friend (who also lives with us) is someone who’s given to details and I am not like that.
So when he picks out little things, it irritates me and I can’t count the number of times I wanted to lash out at him this week when God kept saying “love does not do this and that”.
I forgot my Christian sister self and simply just would love to tell him “your own too much sometimes.” lol.
And that’s because we are different.
I have said it before that I am a “jaga jaga” person a bit.
I am not organized like that…
I am a go getter… I don’t waste time with thinking out the little details of things.
What’s my business if the remote isn’t where it’s supposed to be? Just pick it up and keep it nah, no time for talk talk.
But I understand and I am getting the inkling that my husband will be someone given to details because God rarely ever puts people with the same personality traits together.
He puts the different people together so they can complement each other and iron out each other here and there.
So it’s actually a good thing that my brother’s friend is given to details as if I use him well, it can iron out the rough edges of my personality.
I understand this fact, but that doesn’t stop the detail oriented personality from irritating me because that’s not who I am.
And so imagine if God gives me a husband like that and I don’t let grace and love constrain me, I’d just be raising up a storm with my tongue, retorting back at him everyday.
And where goes all my goal to add great things to his life?
Nil and nil.
So this is where grace needs to come in…
Which is what I want us to pray about today…
So if you are someone who has realized from what God is teaching you right now that you’d only be an awesome spouse by His grace, then join us as we pray below…
Father I thank you for your lessons thus far on being a wife/husband to the blessed man/woman you’ll be sending my way.
I’m thankful for your corrections to me.
I’m thankful for the continual itch from you to switch and change certain aspects of my behaviour, attitudes and character so I can be a blessing to the spouse you are sending my way.
I recognize the fact that you love me wholly but it is also your desire that I grow and become better.
I yield to the ministry of transformation you are doing in me and I ask that you help me inculcate these changes in Jesus name, amen!
Lord, I also recognize the fact that I can only change and be a blessing in my marriage by your grace… I can’t attain the order of a kingdom marriage on my own.
Yes I will play my part but I need your grace Lord.
Your grace to love my wife as I should…
Your grace to submit to my husband as I should…
Your grace to tamper my tongue with words of grace…
I pray for grace to be a blessing to my future spouse Lord.
May I add to his/her life and not subtract from him/her.
May I advance him/her further in his walk in purpose and take him/her farther back.
May I be a wind beneath his/her wind and not be the one who derails him/her from fulfilling his/her desires and dreams.
May I give of myself wholly to them… fully committed to growing them into the man/woman you have created them to be.
Give me eyes to see where you want me to be a great blessed addition to their lives and take away selfishness on what I only expect to get from them.
Help me Lord…
Grant me grace.
I desire an awesome marriage… only you can help me have that.
Change me, mold me, teach me on the ministry of marriage you have provided for… and help me with my personality and character to be a great spouse to my wife/husband.
Thank you Lord for you are working in me even now, for in Jesus name I have prayed amen!
You are encouraged to say this prayer every time it comes to your heart.
May we indeed be spouses who add in great and mighty ways to the spouses God brings our way and not bring them down in Jesus name, amen.
Till our next Frances’ love letter,
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