Dear lovers of Frances’s love letters,
There are some few things that I have begged God not to let me share about my life till a certain time.
There are some dark things that He has pulled me out of that I have literally told Him not to bid me share till so and so time.
And what you are about to read is one of them.
I am all for speaking about Christ.
I mean, the knowledge of who He is wraps me so securely, so much so that I can almost not have a conversation with someone-anyone- a stranger even without talking about our sweet Jesus.
This part of me has deceived so many people about who I was in time past.
I speak to guys about sex and being chaste in God and their words almost always end with “it’s easy for you to say nah, you have never tasted sex before”.
I laugh when I hear them say that.
It brings on a fresh gratitude to God for just how much He has turned my life around and it makes me so certain that He can do the same for everyone.
I almost always end conversations that I have with guys about premarital sex, masturbation and attendant lusts with a deep sadness in my heart.
Most of these men are struggling.
Most believers are struggling with lust and even worse, some of them cannot speak out for fear of shame.
I understand how it is, I was once there.
The idea for this project for the month of March was to share the stories of men who had overcome sin through Christ but as I thought about it, I knew that it is time to share my own story.
Not the hide-hide version of it, the real deal.
The premarital sex with two men, the tears at failing, the masturbation, the tears at failing again – the victory – the victory that God gave me.
It’s time to share all of it.
NO MORE SHEETS Lord.
And if it is just one soul that’s helped to live in chastity in you, then please help us.
Help us Lord.
I will write and I will pray. Help us Lord.
Now, where do I start from?
I will start from the words that ring in my head sometimes and make me smile at God’s awesome grace.
They were words from my elder brother.
I had sneaked off to read one of his pornographic magazines and I remember that he caught me then and he said “you are lucky that you haven’t started masturbating, because once you do, you won’t be able to stop”
And for a long time, it seemed like he was right about his predictions because he didn’t know that I had already started masturbating and he didn’t know that yes, I wasn’t able to stop for a while.
And for a while, not being able to stop did not bother me until I truly gave my life to Christ and realized that I couldn’t pray or be close to God anytime I masturbated.
And then premarital sex got added into the whole mix.
I entered into a wrong relationship, told myself that I would keep myself as a virgin but ended up having sex outside of marriage and enjoying it.
But with enjoyment of pleasures not sanctioned by God came guilt at being cut off from God.
I remember days of sitting in the toilet, crying and weeping and telling Jesus that I have failed Him again.
I remember days of curling up into my side after having sex with my boyfriend and crying to God that I had done it again.
Oh thank You Lord.
As I write this now, I almost can’t even pull up those memories, they seem to be from a thousand years ago, that’s how much God has washed me…
The premarital sex was almost easy to conquer when I made up my mind to break off those stupid relationships and only follow God will for my marital life.
The masturbation wasn’t so easy to kick off.
I remember even going for a vigil where my case of addiction was mentioned and the spirit of God fell on me so strongly, I felt like I was free of it till I fell again.
I remember speaking in tongues and being on fire for God but then idling browsing porn at night and reaching under my panties again.
I remember shame, terrible shame at it all.
Till one faithful day when I was cleansed for real.
Actually, I was cleansed from sin’s power over me 2000 + years ago but I only started walking in it on that faithful day…
I had drifted a bit from God because I was watching series of movies a lot- movies with erotic scenes in them.
And of course at first I resisted it, till I had to eventually reach under my panties again.
As I contemplated whether to go ahead or not (sin is always a choice), I heard these words in me “so I say walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh” – Galatians 5:16
I went ahead and sinned again but that was the last time sin had power over me.
Let’s just stop and worship God.
When the Bible says no sin can separate us from His love for us, it means every word.
God went ahead to teach me after that faithful incident about righteousness which is only found in Him, about forgiveness of sin(which He does once we confess our sins) and ultimately, about how to walk in victory over sin.
We can only walk in victory over sin – over masturbation, lust, porn, etc, by walking in the Spirit.
What you feed is what grows in you.
You feed the flesh and it grows.
You feed the Spirit and He grows in you.
You slip away even for one minute in your unguarded hours and satan comes back in with full force.
It’s the reason why so many Christians struggle with sins of the flesh.
They are feeding the flesh – having too many unguarded moments where satan can creep into thoughts in their heads unnoticed.
Do you know that you can feed the Spirit so much that He tells you not to open up certain sites?
His leading in your heart will be so strong that you must follow Him?
Do you know that you can feed the Spirit so much and walk in Him and with Him so closely, you can tell Him about your sexual desires?
I have woken up some days with a desire to just have sex.
Yes, I said it. And I always take the advice of Dr N on her “great sex post”.
I thank God first of all that I have feelings and then I speak to God!
Oh I love this part of my walk with God, telling Him about everything.
I tell Him this is what I feel but I am only going to wait for your chosen son for me.
I am going down the road of lust no longer!
Christ has set me free from the power of sin and I am free indeed.
That’s what it is to walk in the Spirit.
You let Him lead you every step of the way.
You follow His guidance.
You place your hands in His and let Him carry you wherever He will.
You do that and He will carry you out of the lust of the flesh.
You also have a role to play in this.
There are times that you need to physically quench the fire in you.
I have purposely left my room door at home wide open on some nights.
I have purposely thrown up curtains in the house of a corper I have gone to visit.
Forget the fact that I am walking in the Spirit and full of the spirit, sin thrives in secrecy and misguided notions of “nobody can see me”, so I make sure that everyone can see me and I guard against unguarded hours.
Even if I am online, I have Christian blogs I follow.
I follow Christian believers TL.
I am never idle.
When I am online, I have learnt to take my attention to stuff that will benefit me and not pull me down.
There are some titles of blog posts that I don’t click on.
There are some erotic sites that I don’t read.
There are some cancel buttons that I hit faster than the speed of light.
But why couldn’t I do those things before? Why was my resistance level so weak?
Because I hadn’t learned to walk in the Spirit.
Today… With this series in the month of March, I invite you all to walk in the Spirit with me and walk in the broken chains over sin that God has purchased with His blood for you.
You will be seeing real life stories of men who have wallowed in sin and also seen God’s victory over sin in their lives.
You can say that we cannot vouch for everyone but one of these men is a man whose testimony I have personally heard.
One is a man whose girlfriend broke up with him because of series of reasons including that “he had never slept with her”
One is a man who has fought masturbation and won with Christ in Him.
Some men declined to write in maybe because they thought that they aren’t worthy.
But oh, my prayer with this “chastity for men” series is that “even if it’s one man… just one man who lays hold of the victory God has gotten over sin for Him, then my soul will be glad”!
A part of me doesn’t want my story to go be shared publicly.
A part of me does not want anyone to share this post.
But shame on satan!
Hit the share button below people and share the victory that God has given me over the lust of the flesh!
I know that a part of the reason why God has given me the go-ahead to share this is because it hits the nail on the coffin of sin’s hold over me!
I have been clean for so long now.
I have been celibate for 4years running and TOTALLY FREE from masturbation almost a year going now.
(I say totally free because sometimes one could have a stretch of 3-6months of nothing and just one slip, sin takes over.)
But I know I am totally free.
How do I know?
Because I’ve finally gotten the secret… Walk with the Spirit!
I never knew that before and I want us all struggling to know this secret to freedom today and through this series.
I have never said this out loud to any soul but God before.
Only Him knows my story.
But now you all know and you all know too that God can(and has) done the same for you.
You only need to walk in it.
Chastity for men is doable.
Other men are doing it.
And remember, Paul told Timothy in 1Timothy 4:12
“Donât let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and YOUR PURITY.”
So men can do this.
You can pursue after righteousness with God’ Spirit in you and break the hold of lust over your soul through Christ.
Yes, you can!
I won’t say much about this anymore, all I want to say is that I LOVE GOD!
If my excitement is jumping through the page to you, then you should know how it is with me.
Do you know how you totally can’t reconcile that girl who used to cry because she fell into lust again and again… you can’t reconcile her with this girl who is just pure in the purity that Christ purchased for her..
I LOVE GOD!
And I know that after writing stuff like this on my blog, temptations always arise but oh, greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world!
We will do this this March.
We are going all out with walking in the Spirit and walking in the victory over sin.
Men can be chaste.
Women can be chaste.
Whether they have fallen before or not, they can pick themselves right up and walk in the victory that Christ has for them.
First article from a man on the “Chastity for Men” project will be published on the blog next week Saturday.
So keep it locked down here.
Share this post and spread the victory in Christ.
The world ain’t got nothing on this.
And subscribe to blog below.
I’m looking at making this series into an e-book at the end of it all soÂ please, don’t miss out on what God has for us all on this blog.
Till next week by God’s grace,
You can read all posts in the #ChastityForMenSeries here