If You Left Your Single Friends Behind After You Got Married… That Was A Very Foolish Thing To Do!

“Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention.” 

– 1st Corinthians 7:33

We would be lying if we say that we do not recognize the fact that of a truth, marriage does involve a person in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life. Where before you could chose to cook or not cook, now you have to cook or at least make provision for what to do when you don’t cook. Where before you could travel whenever you want, now, even if that traveling is for God’s work of ministry, it has to be planned and permission given along with your spouse co-operating before you can go anywhere and if God doesn’t help you, it’s easy to simply let God’s calling for your life go.

“And say to Archippus, “Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.”- Colossians 4:17

To be a married woman and still be one who is paying attention to fulfilling God’s purpose for your life takes help; the help of God and the help of men God specifically places in your life. One of the ways He would do this is by placing people on fire in your life.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17

And sometimes this iron may be a single girl. If you had friends who were these irons and encouragement for you when you were single… if you didn’t burn the bridge friendship when you got married, these irons can be them.

You see, we have been sold a lie by the world about this marriage thing. The world has carefully crafted an enmity creed around the life of marriage. There is a silent enmity creed around in-law relationships and a silent enmity creed also around friendships between single and married people. This is a lie from the pit of hell that should be rebuked with everything in us.

You see, except those single relationships were expressly told to you by God to be broken, you should hold them tight because you would need them. Some of us do not know what to let go of and what to hold tightly to our chests as people we need on the life of destiny.

Single purposeful friends both on fire for the Lord and on fire for fulfilling their destiny are friends you want to hold close to you (except God says to let them go). Because guess who would be reminding you of your calling and destiny even while you are in the kitchen consumed with cooking a meal for the family?

Yes, that single girl.

Guess who would be holding your hands through balancing marriage and fulfilling God’s calling for your life?

Yes, that single friend.

She can light your fire, just by having conversations with her and watching her life on how intent she is on fulfilling God’s purpose for her life.

Married and single people don’t have to in a war against each other and friendships – purposeful friendships – can exist between the dividing lines.

Another thing the world has tried to bring between these relationships is envy and comparison.

The married people envy the single people and the single people envy the married people. To be honest, it’s such a stupid, needless and plainly laughable situation.

It’s a needless situation because that was not what was in God’s heart when He made friendships. Yes there are times and seasons and seasons where God shifts our circles but let it not because you got married, and that was the reason why you cut such great people God put in your life just because they were still single. As if being single erases the capability of that person to light your fire.

I would like to advise married and single women to be wise. If God has blessed with you a friendship while you were single which was everything you needed for life and destiny, except God says let go, then resist the lie of the devil that’s speaking in your ear to withdraw from their lives because of “marriage”.

And don’t withdraw from them because of the demon of envy and comparison. Please open your eyes, rebuke that demon, be especially GRATEFUL for where both of you are in your lives and come together to milk dry the benefits of that relationship God has put in your life – single or not.

Light each other’s fire on the journey of life and destiny. Heaven is counting on you to do exactly that.

Here are reasons why you shouldn't let go of your single (female) friends after you get married.. Click To Tweet


If you are single and you haven’t read my book “SURVIVING SINGLEHOOD” You are wrong.


Lara and Amaka are two single sisters on opposite sides of the divide with one common enemy; they both hate their single lives!
Femi on the other hand is a 28 year old single man in love with the idea of love. He grew up watching his mother and father love each other with an undying love and his earnest desire since he was a young boy has been to find and shower one lucky lady with all the love in his heart… only thing is, he can’t seem to find this lady in the whole wide Lagos!
Lazarus is a guy who wants to die in singlehood and never be resurrected… literally. He gets his wish at the end but is this really what he wants?
Surviving singlehood is a tale of four intertwined lives in this thing called ‘life before marriage’. Would they ever survive this season of their lives with their hearts and minds intact?
Find out in this epic tale of… SURVIVING SINGLEHOOD


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