Getting Married Without A Groom Love&Relationships

Getting Without A Groom Without A Groom Part 6

Getting married without a groom is a series that would run here till my marriage holds.

I hope it inspires you in your own marital journey.


“By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.”
Hebrews 11:3 NKJV

If you missed the last part click here


Chapter 6
This time, he said he loved me too much to take his hands off me. I didn’t know it was lust speaking and I succumbed.
By the next month I still had not seen my period. I called the doctor and he said if by the end of that month or so I had not seen it, we should come for another abortion.

I was so mad and scared. I didn’t want to ever lie down on that table ever again.

End of the month came and aunty Flo still hadn’t come so we went to the doctor.
This time after the procedure, I couldn’t tell if it was my period or if I was bleeding. The blood came like my period but it was so painful. I had cramps and kept feeling like my insides were going to come out. After a few days though, it stopped. It felt like it was my period but with every bleed I died.

After this time I became depressed and after a while my boyfriend wasn’t enough to fill in the holes. As a matter of fact, he became one of the holes.

We had started the relationship based on lies and self-deception. I was the one who was self-deceived. I didn’t want sex at first but allowed him to smooch me and then I rationalized it all as okay so far as he married me which he said he would do.

But things were happening; first I realised that almost everytime I was with him my money got missing. And then I saw that he never spent money on me; I would cook his food with my money, give him transport fare to even come and see me and basically was roped around his finger.

Then the truth began to filter in.
He said he was born again but there was no iota of God in him. He still played rap songs, kept friends who smoked and used swear words.
He oozed of marijuana when we were together and would lie that he didn’t smoke but some persons around him did. One day I tasted and perceived the smell of cigarettes in his mouth as I kissed him but I believed his lie when he said it was nothing.

We would quarrel and he would verbally abuse me and say words like “your mother couldn’t keep her marriage and you can’t keep your relationship, I am the only one who can love you”.

I was so warped in thinking and felt that I had a big mouth and that was the reason why we quarreled… so one day I said “maybe if you beat me I would be submitted and meek” and one day he did slap me!

All these were happening in my life when I was less than 20.

I began to ask myself questions; why was I this young and suffering?
Was this the kind of life God wanted for me?
I had lost all self-esteem and the brilliant girl I was before was no more.
I was empty and in need of a saviour. I knew I was trapped but I couldn’t get out. I needed a push. I knew the relationship was bad for me and I was seeking for God’s word; I had gone in secret to ask my fellowship vice president what a lady should do if in a relationship that was bad. But I couldn’t lift myself out of the situation.

One day it all came to a head; another girl was pregnant for him.

Your Turn:
1: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

2: Have you ever been in a relationship you knew was bad for you but you couldn’t help yourself?

3: We all have some voids in us; sometimes we seek love and approval from men maybe because of our past and family background.
What have you attempted to fill your voids with?

4: There is only one man who can fill the voids in us – Jesus.

“Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”
John 4:10‭, ‬13‭-‬15 NKJV

The only water that can fill us is from Jesus. Every other water – water of men – would have to be drawn from again and again without satisfaction. It is a never ending self-destructing cycle.
With Jesus, we can draw once and be satisfied.

Jesus wants us to come to Him. We are His women too and that God-sized void in us can only be filled by Him.



1:My book “Prayers for your future husband” is available for would-be brides!








We are gifting brides-to-be FREE copies of Prayers for your future Husband this April 2018.

Email to arrange how to get your copies.



My new book “Prayers for your future seed” is open for pre-orders. Pre-orders close in #5Days

Pre-order by paying the sum of 2000naira into:

Frances Okoro


Gtbank and confirm by emailing


Or pre-order with your card here


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