Getting Married Without A Groom Love&Relationships


I started writing this book series last year when I went away to Calabar to spend time with God.

God had spoken to me about my marriage and asked me to IN FAITH begin to write this book. I stopped at the end of 2017.

Now, I know that I am IN FAITH to begin again.

It is a memoir of sorts beginning at the beginning of my life and ending at my marriage.

It would run every Saturday here on the blog till my wedding holds.

I hope that you are blessed and challenged by it in your own marital story.

If you missed the last chapter  click here


Chapter 3

And so my Port Harcourt boyfriend came to visit me at school. I was now in the University but still hadn’t left my online boyfriend life.
I always had a desire to travel you see, so I would pack up my bags and go visit these boys that I met online.
I had been to Lagos and then to Benin in the one short semester of being in school and both times my boyfriends tried to get me to have full sex with them but I refused.

I would allow them smooch and do every other thing with them but not allow them penetrate me. I didn’t want to break my virginity you see, I took great pride in the fact that I was a virgin even though I didn’t know God. Now I know that if I had died then, even with my virginity, I would have gone to hell.

But now I didn’t need to travel; this boyfriend was coming to see me!

As usual I went to him and told him my stance when he asked me to spend the night. I was going to do all with him but let him penetrate me. He said ok.
I was thrilled that he loved me enough to wait. He said he was going to marry me. I was double thrilled! Finally, a man who loved me!!

We spent that night together and it was a dream come true. In the middle of the night however, the dream was interrupted by plain reality.

We were getting into it and he was getting too far.

“No” I said.

“What are you scared of? Its okay…”

“No” I said again.

This time I received a slap.

I struggled.
He was big.
There was nowhere to go.

“Open your legs!”

He said he would use the belt on me if I don’t.

I did.

He tried.
He tried.
He couldn’t go in.

He rolled off me.

The next morning I went to the bathroom and cried as I washed.
The only thing that was painful to me wa the fact that I had lost my virginity.
When I came back into the room, he said “you are still a virgin”. I didn’t understand then because I thought it was gone and then I felt since it’s gone anyway and he said he will marry me, just go on.
So the next night I came again to meet him.

After the weekend he went back to school and I didn’t hear from him again save the one time he called me to send him recharge card.

I was so desperate to be loved that I sent that recharge card and then again he faded into silence.

I ached and cried. Not because I thought I had done anything wrong in my actions but because even after all these M left me.

Now the shirt he gave me made sense. It had the words: “playboy” written on it.


That semester I had my first experience of really going back to God.
I repented for losing my virginity and I started reading my Bible. I tried to be a good girl. I tried to do all the good things. I felt peace but I still didn’t have strong convictions in God, neither had I really experienced Him as my Father. Simply put, I still didn’t have a relationship per say with me and trouble in the form of another boy was still lurking around the corner.

And this time, I got into a deeper mess than being left with a “playboy” shirt.


Your Turn:
1: Do you have a relationship with God?

2: Is your relationship with God based only on the good things that you do?

3: We do not earn salvation by the good things that we do; salvation is a gift we receive by faith. The relationship between works and salvation actually work in reverse form, we can only actually do good things that are acceptable to God when we are saved and those good things too are only made possible by His grace.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”
Ephesians 2:8‭-‬9 NKJV

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.”
Titus 2:11‭-‬14 NKJV

3: What is purity to you?

4: Have you been offering up the entirety of your body to God or just your ‘main sexual organ’?

“For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
I Corinthians 6:20 NKJV

“I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”
Romans 12:1‭-‬2 AMPC



My book “Prayers for your future husband” is available for would-be brides!

You can download the sneak peek copy Download

The end goal of the book “PRAYERS FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND” is:

That all our women will arise to pour out prayers and not just wishes on the lives of the ones they desire to marry.

That we would no longer build our homes on the air but on the altar of prayer.

That we would no longer gripe and complain about husbands and men in the world but change things and nurture their lives in our prayer altars.. That again women would go back to raising up altars of intercession upon the lives of the men they marry.



“PRAYERS FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND” is available for purchase. Discount available on bulk purchases for women ministry or single women groups.

DM or email to order



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