One of the upsides of having the Holy Spirit within you is that you are almost never down except you want to be. If you are willing to listen, He whispers words of encouragement to you, comfort and faith to you even in tense situations and that’s what He did to me yesterday when I saw my result.
I was however not okay with that. I wanted to feel all the mixed emotions.
Confusion, doubt and disappointment…
I had imagined screaming with my testimony of first class, pasting it on my blog because I just couldn’t speak because of gratefulness clogging my throat…
Well, I couldn’t speak when it indeed came out alright, just not with gratefulness clogging my throat, but with a mish-mash of a number of emotions… I was numb. Grateful, but numb so I let myself feel the emotions. I let myself feel pain, I let myself feel doubt, I let myself feel confusion… then I let myself feel grateful.
Sad because the first class didn’t come, confused because I thought faith would do it, doubt because it didn’t fit in with what God said He has for me… then trust, trust at who He is.
I had planned to just update my blog with my screenshot of my first class result as my testimony and I am still going to do same today, just not a result of first class.lol
Why am I still going to update the less than first class as a testimony??
Because I’m thinking, do I only claim the testimony when it goes the way I want, or claim it also when it goes the way I don’t understand? What kind of Christian will I be if I keep it quiet because it’s not what I want?
I shared my testimony of 2:1 from University so why not the pass from Law School?
I had 2:1 in University and I’ve seen why God wanted me to have that, to reach out to others, and now I have pass from law school, I don’t understand why yet but I trust that it all falls into God’s plans for me.
I know that He specializes in turning the little in our hands to much and I am excited to see just how He turns this into something that I never thought of in my wildest dreams.
So my beloved readers, I give you my result-my testimony!
I am still grateful. I’ve realized something, I cannot only thank God when things go my way, I will thank Him even when they don’t go my way. Why? Because He is still on the throne.
I believe that God allows us to have and face that which He will use in our life’s journey and I am content to just sit still and let Him work it out.
I believe I will look up and say aha! I know why I graduated with pass someday. Crazy? No, true.
I’m still numb but I am thankful and grateful. I feel the Spirit in Paul that said we are grateful in nothing and grateful in much in me right now. I feel the entire weight of 1thessalonians 5:18 right now.
I am grateful with this pass Lord, just like I would have been grateful with first class.
I have faith enough in you to know that you will also use this for good. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you.
To the newest crop of soon to be called lawyers, I say Congratulations! See you all at Abuja on November 25th.
For those who didn’t make it…I’m am certain, I am certain that God’s still got you.
“Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].”-1Thessalonians 5:18.
It will be hard, really hard, but please thank God still. *hugs*
And for those wondering why I am so open with these stuffs on my blog? Read my about blog page. The essence of me/this blog is not to only wow you with the big perfect things, but also for you to see God in ALL imperfect things.
PS:Can I please stop getting all the pings and calls about bar finals results now? Read my blog and get the info about my grades and oh, if they aren’t reading this right now, anyone reading this, please share this and let it get to all. Save my battery. Lol.