For The Re-Virgins

Hello dears, I hope your day’s going well?
I’ve struggled with posting/not posting this for a while but well oh well, I am just going to post it already.
A lady asked me a question recently, she was really confused about this virgin thing(team V) we have going on today. The source of the confusion stemmed from the fact that, she isn’t a virgin-at least not one in the eyes of the world.
Before answering her question, I browsed through some of my favorite articles on virginity and abstaining from sex before marriage topic and I found none referring to what she needed to hear. So let’s just use God’s word and as much honesty as we can muster to answer this.I noticed that we have more women that have never been touched on team/the ones that have never been touched are mostly the voices on the fore front for purity before marriage but you and I know that, that is not all there is to the team v thing.
We know that there are those who have been touched and prodded before. We know that there are those who have turned around underneath the sheets and HALLELUJAH, they now want to make the turnaround back to God.
The question is- “how do I make a u-turn in the aspect of sex too? I’ve tasted and felt what it is like, how do I go back to seeing it as a sin? If I stop it having premarital sex today, can I really say that I am chaste/pure/ a virgin? Does God even recognize me as such?”

Praise God for the gift of Jesus Christ and salvation, IMMEDIATELY you accepted Christ, you became a new creation. All old things (including sex you had before you became born again) have passed away and all things concerning you have become new. In fact, our beautiful father doesn’t remember the you you were before, your sins have been casted from you as far as the east is from the west and He has exchanged your blood red garments of sins for one of snow, He has exchanged your garments of sexual sin for one of purity in Him.
He has forgotten all you did including premarital sex.
The question is, have you forgotten? Can you forget?

Yes, all things have become new in your life but I will be honest with you, the process of all things becoming new sex-wise takes a while because of the addictive nature of sex, you’ll still be tempted especially if you are still with your boyfriend that doesn’t see team-v as something worthwhile but you can be sure that if you are ready,then the Holy Spirit is ready to help you make that transition too.

I know you still dabbled between the sheets with Chike afterwards, and that only made you feel terrible, didn’t it?
You’ve wept and asked God for forgiveness and asked him to help you. But your friends have said you can’t go back to no sex levels, that you are just praying for nothing, “go with the flow,sex is sweet.”

But you also know that – “ There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.” 1cor 6:16-20

And the good news is you can. You can glorify God with the purity of your body. And once you take that step to walk away from it all, you are as much as a virgin with the rest of the “untouched” in God’s eyes and that’s all that matters.
Christ’s blood has cleansed you in totality, He remembers none of your sins including ur tumblings beneath the sheets and its important that you know this too.

I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy going back to status quo sex-wise, but I think your salvation is worth it, don’t you think so too?
2014 beckons, do you want the same circle of fall into temptation, cry, pray, fall again to go with you into 2014?
You can decide to change it all now, right now, you can decide to live above lusts of the flesh and in purity for Christ till your hubby comes.
You can decide to give God your mind and let Him conform it to the way His thinks and God will be with you every step of the way.

But oh dear, God isn’t the only one that has a role to play here, you’ve got to take some practical steps too, you’ve got stop visiting Chike in a dark room alone when you know that he will always totori you in places he knows are your weak point.
You’ve got to flee from such situations.
You’ve got to let go of those erotic videos,novels and all what nots, you’ve got to feed your mind with the food of God-His word.
What you feed your mind will be what you meditate on and what you meditate on forms the basis for what you desire.
You may also have to leave Chike if he isn’t of like mind with you and the Christ in you.
It may be hard to let go but this end of the year is a very good time to BREAK UP and LET GO of the things that trip you down and push you away from God.

And you are wondering if sex is worth breaking up over as a child of God?
See what inthe of said about it- “In regards to whether it is worth breaking up with your boyfriend over; I am going to speak very bluntly…it is MORE than enough reason to break up with a guy. If a man ( using the term loosely here) is pestering you over sex, I strongly encourage that you do what you need to do to abstain, even if it means breaking up with him. Girlfriend, he does not love you and you should be alarmed!! Besides the guy not respecting you and your wish for holiness, what about him? Where is his head, his heart and the spirit of God within him? Is this the guy you want to hand over leadership of your life to?
The truth is he has way more bigger issues than sex at hand; he needs to go find his God.” (This is one of my fave quotes by the way, 10million loves for it)

Begin the new year on a fresh note with God.
Think of the great one that God can release to you if only you let go of the one in your hands right now – If you dare to dream it,God will bring it (Ephesians 3:20)

2014 beckons, and you can hop on the team-v wagon, we’ve established that its not just for the untouched right?
Regardless of the past, you are a brand new person in Christ and in the eyes of Him who matters, once you make the decision to flee the lusts of the flesh, to leave it all behind and follow Him, you are as chaste as can be.
Remember, this won’t be easy with your own power, but that’s what the Holy Spirit is there for. Talk to Him and make the decisions you need to make and He’ll help you.

And as for how I know you’ll be okay and this will all work out fine?
Just know that I know.
I just know.
You’ll be okay.
You can work above lusts of the flesh if you put your mind to it.
With God’s help, you can be a re-virgin.
I am rooting for you.
Team re-v for the win!

Btw,you should really,really read inthe’s post on sex before marriage,pls do.


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  • Reply
    December 29, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    So true darling…
    It may be hard but not impossible.
    Marriagebydbook has an article SEXPLICIT here. You may wanna check it out too

    • Reply
      December 29, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      Woah! Thanks E,I did check it out.
      Guys that ask for sex before marriage with the added words of ‘if you love me you’ll have sex with me’ indeed need to chop hot
      Tis the reason why we should know that sex isn’t love,a guy really wants you+ is a godly guy like we should all have,he’ll wait.
      Thanks E

  • Reply
    December 29, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    Explicitly true. There is no other way to the truth except head-on.
    When u weigh the pleasures of sex with the Perfect plan/future God has 4u, you would spit in the face of any sex promoter.
    The flesh in a christian is a chained tiger, but a tiger still. Don’t pet it. Walk in the Spirit.

    • Reply
      December 29, 2013 at 5:38 pm

      And your comment is so true Emmytim,its basic common sense really, why throw away your great future cuz of something u can still get in the right time when you wait?
      Walking in the spirit and fleeing from every temptation does it.
      Thanks dear

  • Reply
    December 29, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    oh, those novels. they desensitize us and “awaken” love before it’s ready. we really need to set them aside. there are enthralling christian novel available to fill the gap. This is on point

    • Reply
      December 29, 2013 at 5:42 pm

      Ah yes the novels that sell sex as the next thing to do after meeting a man. Serve to do nothing but awaken emotions and fill thoughts with wrong notions of how relationships should be.
      You are right Tomiwa, we really need to set them aside.

  • Reply
    Oghenero Ezaza
    December 29, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    This is so edifying

    • Reply
      December 30, 2013 at 10:50 am

      Thanks Ezaza.I pray it achieves the reason for which it was written…

  • Reply
    eniola prentice
    December 29, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    Its a choice every believer has to make in their own time and its between them and God. No preaching or talk can change the soul or mind. It takes a resolute decision and the holy spirit’s help to stop. The worlds way has become the standard and it shouldn’t be.

    • Reply
      December 30, 2013 at 10:59 am

      Yes Eniola,the way the world’s standard is gradually seeping into believers is sad.
      And yes,no preaching can make anyone stop except it comes from their own decision,but how can they make the decision except they hear the right thing? And how can they hear except its preached,like the word says in Romans 10:14-17- “But how can they call to him for help if they have not believed? And how can they believe if they have not heard the message? And how can they hear if the message is not proclaimed? And how can the message be proclaimed if the messengers are not sent out? As the scripture says, “How wonderful is the coming of messengers who bring good news!”…
      So then, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message comes through preaching Christ.(You can paraphrase d msg being preached to include keeping ourslvs pure for Christ)
      We can only talk,and pray that the Holy Spirit water the words and make them yield good fruit.
      Thanks for stopping by Eniola.

  • Reply
    Yours Truly
    December 30, 2013 at 2:36 am

    Frances, I’m so happy you posted it. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17) – the bible says it all. Lots of girls have made mistakes in the past, including me and I’m not proud of it at all. However, I have accepted Christ, and I’m a new being, but, sometimes the devil makes me feel guilty. Sometimes, I break down when I remember the past.

    • Reply
      December 30, 2013 at 11:08 am

      Yes yours truly, that why the question of “God has forgotten,but have you?” Comes in.
      Satan tries to draw us in by filling us with feelings of guilt even though God has forgotten and forgiven it all. Satan knows that if he allows us walk in that newness of life,his hold is loosend on us so he will accuse us with our mind,oh he will…
      But the bible says,”there is therefore NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus and because you believe in Him,the power of the life giving spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death-(Romans 8:1-2)
      I feel like bursting in tongues, yours truly, there is no condemnation on us anymore, we are cleansed, washed, its almost as if our sins never were, we can walk in christ in newness of spirit! Walk with this mindset dear,the past is gone,dead,buried!
      And you can even use the past for God’s glory,after all he said,all things work for good of them who love him,your past can be used to draw men to christ,the young ones who have lost it,the new you now can be a testimony to them.
      Let not the past let us drown in shame,no! Let it be an attestation to the goodness of God in our lives,to his love,to his grace.
      The past is dead yours truly,it can’t speak as condemnation on u anymore,walk in this mindset. Much love

  • Reply
    December 30, 2013 at 5:35 am

    Unsure if like or dislike. 🙁

    • Reply
      December 30, 2013 at 11:09 am

      Berenestel, we can’t sit on the fence now,can we?
      Thanks for stopping by

  • Reply
    December 30, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    Hmmm,the v team? I love the sound of that. When we come to God, he removes our past and gives a clean slate to start all over. Great piece dear.

    In appreciation of your all time support on chavivas,I dropped you another appreciation line on my blog. Bless your heart dear.

  • Reply
    December 31, 2013 at 3:57 am

    You couldn’t have said it better.
    Old things are past away and just as God as forgives,so he forgets.

    Secondary virginity isn’t easy but it’s very possible, one just has to be determined,rooted in Christ and his word, and stay away from anything and anyone that can entice you.

  • Reply
    December 31, 2013 at 4:00 am

    You couldn’t have said it better.
    Old things are past away and just as God as forgives,so he forgets.

    Secondary virginity isn’t easy but it’s very possible, one just has to be determined,rooted in Christ and his word, and stay away from anything and anyone that can entice you.

  • Reply
    December 31, 2013 at 7:46 am

    Yes Peace, it is very,very possible.
    Thanks for stopping by.*smiles*

  • Reply
    January 1, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    Bold eh! Are people still talking about virginity? The answer is YES! More powerful is when it comes from singles keeping it real. Chop knuckle. Please men should also be encouraged to celebrate viginity o. It’s a wonderful thing. For the sceptics I personally know 3 guys who married as virgins. They had kids within the 1st year of marriage. These condoms do not protect against heartbreak o. Love love love. Kudos!

    • Reply
      January 1, 2014 at 6:26 pm

      Thanks Dr N,indeed abstinence is d koko,not condoms anymore.
      and I chop that knuckle right here,thank you.

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