I can still remember that day like yesterday…
I had just been given a nomination form to serve as an executive at my fellowship in the university… and my first response was NO.
In fact my NO was so emphatic, it was accompanied with tears.
When I was asked by the then vice president why I didn’t want to serve as an executive, I made excuses (in tears) that I wasn’t ready…
But the real truth was that I felt unworthy to be used by God.
I had just left “a sort of relationship” where I met the guy online and had spent two nights in a hotel room with him.
I was naive then and told him I wasn’t going to sleep with him because I was a virgin… but turned out that his “yes, no problem” were all lies.
I was slapped, threatened with a belt, and “almost” forcefully penetrated on the first night with him but guess what? I again went back to spend another night with him… that’s how stupid and naive I was back then.
So I felt like God wouldn’t want anything to do with a dirty girl like me.
I had asked for forgiveness after the incident and went on to start studying my Bible but I still didn’t feel like I could scrub off the dirt of sin from my body.
And if you know my story, you already know that my sexual encounters didn’t end with the incident related above… but then my encounter with the feeling of unworthiness had just began.
I never felt good enough for God.
I felt like I was nothing.
What would God want with me? A sinner?
A girl trailed by bad choices… with a messed up temple (body)?
I don’t know how I metamorphosed from that person to this person who is confident in her Father’s identity of her but I know it has something to do with the day I finally realized that nothing I did/do could make God love me less or make Him call me less than holy.
He didn’t call me holy because of what I did, He calls me holy because it gives Him good pleasure to do so.
All by His mercy and grace.
And I felt the need to share this good news with others…
I had my first book reading/discussion on purpose at Ekiti State Correctional centre last week Friday and it was amazing to sow truths in the heart of the teenagers.
The centre is a rehabilitation home for teenagers who are recalcitrant… Those who steal, are in gangs… etc.
We discussed the second step in my book which is “Yes, you are worthy!”.
And it was just amazing to lead the young ones into truth.
I read the step to them, explained to them with my life as an example (yes, I bared my past and present to them) that God can and will still use them for His purposes for their lives despite whatever they may have done in the past.
I felt so privileged when we were discussing some of the wisdom nuggets and “reflect and decide” points in the book and they opened up to me about some details of their past lives.
We all agreed and decided to leave it in the past and start a new life in Christ Jesus today.
Of course they had questions which I tried to answer with God’s wisdom in me.
Finally, I donated two books to them and we prayed together with one girl giving her life to God and others asking about life in Christ and salvation, how to use their gifts, etc.
Like I said in this post, I am in Lagos right now, and plan to have another book reading/discussion on purpose like this before I leave.
This I would do in different places as God gives me grace to do so.
It is my prayer that people will leave such meetings with clarity and direction on their purpose in life and what God wants them to do in Jesus name, amen.
So plan and prepare towards attending a book reading/discussion on purpose in Lagos that will happen probably at the end of this month (will put more details out soon)
And if you are currently like I was in time past, struggling with whether God would ever find you worthy of being used for His purposes on earth, then perhaps you’ll find this little bit from the book helpful:
Excerpt From “Step 2: Yes, You Are Worthy!”
…Thank God that I am here to tell you the truth…
You are not too soiled â you are not too battered â so much so that God cannot use you as a light for Him.
If there is anyone who should feel unqualified to be used by God, it should be me.
As you just read from my walk in purpose above, there are a lot of things that I have done â things that would cause the human mind to disqualify anyone from being used by God on earth.
How did that no-good-girl with a knack for dating the wrong men get to the point of spilling words that bless and impact lives positively?
How did that girl who had sexual encounters with men she met off Facebook get to the point where she holds seminars at schools and advices young girls not to meddle in wrong relationships?
God did it all.
He took the mess and turned it all into a message.
I literally had no sense of direction or purpose in my life during my dark years â I couldn’t even dare to think that God would use a dirty, soiled, no-good girl like me for Himself.
But here am I.
Walking and living in what God has purposed for me from the beginning of time.
And you can do the same too.
You will be set free to live forth Godâs purposes in your life when you let the truth of Godâs love â which still reigns even in your mess â to wrap you securely.
âAnd may you have the power to understand, as all Godâs people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.â
âEphesians 3:18-19, NLT
You know why the Bible says that we can never fully understand Godâs love? Because it is limitless.
But then it also says that we can experience this love of God even though we may never fully understand it.
Godâs love covers your sins, washes you off of them and sets you as a light for Him if you will accept Him into your life. Any thought in your head that writes you off as a-good-for-nothing lady or man are just lies…
Come as you are, let God wash the dirt off of you and let Him show you just how much He delights in turning the lives of His children around for good.
He did just that for me and He can do the same for you IF YOU LET HIM.
No matter how soiled you were/are right now, God can and will still use you for His purposes provided you let Him do so….
I pray that the truth of you being worthy to be used by God sinks into your heart in Jesus name, amen.
Like I said in the book launch post last week, I will have more details on how you can get the book wherever you are this week.
For people in Delta State, call Kenneth on 08167200652 or 08179116337 to get your copies and he will send them to you.
For people in Ekiti State, call Mr kayode on 08066161914 to order and pick up your copies.
I am currently in Lagos, so you can call me up on 07035539092 to order your copies and pick up at my Church, The Oasis, 3Keystone Bank Crescent, off Adeyemo Alakija Street VI on Tuesday and Wednesday evening and Sunday when I will be there.
And look at either of the three places and call whichever one you are close to for your copies to be sent to you.
The book costs 500Naira.
The E-copies of the book “10 Steps To Walking In Purpose” will be out next week Monday (God willing) and I’m planning a blog tour/giveaway for it.
Explanations will be up next week but still, I will love to have at least 10 bloggers who will WILLINGLY want to help me with this on their blogs.
I will not be sending out copies of the book to different bloggers like I did with “Chastity For Men” as I never heard from some persons again… so please this is for only if you are willing and CAN HELP. (as I understand that some are willing but life and all happens so they can’t help with posting and stuff).
You get a free e-copy of the book this week for yourself if you are interested in helping with the blog tour/giveaway on your blog.
You can PLEASE mail me at email@example.com if you are interested or comment below and I will email you with details of the blog tour/giveaway.
Thank you all so much for your support, love, co-operation and prayers.
Till next week when E-copies of the book will be out,
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