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Debate! Why You Should Marry A Believer…


Goodmorning blog readers, panel of judges, accurate time keeper and of course my co-debaters.

My name is Frances Oghenerukevwe Okoro and I am here to support the motion that it is better to marry a Christian believer than just any other douche bag.
I apologize for using that harsh word my esteemed readers and listeners but I searched all over and found no better word to encapsulate the person of a cheat, liar, batterer (insert other ill virtues here) in one.
I must explain who a christian believer is before I go on.
Contrary to public opinion, every Christian isn’t really a believer. I would love to explain who a believer is in line with someone who loves God but then everyone will say that they love the Lord, so we will just use Jesus’s own definition of love for this.

If you love me, you will keep my commandments~John 14:15


So that girl who claims to love the Lord but still engages in pre-marital sex with her boyfriend, does she love the Lord?
That guy that loves the Lord when He gives Him a job but doesn’t esteem God above His friends, does he love the Lord?


A believer mind you, isn’t a perfect person, he may fall then and again but none of this is because he sins deliberately. He loves God and generally produces good fruits and not leaves. (for what good fruits are, please study Galatians 5:22-23)
Now, that we have a general idea of who a believer is, I will be giving out some points on why we should marry this type of Christian and not other Christians “for mouth”…


(1) You have the opportunity to have your very own personal pastor before your pastor in Church.
Remember how a man is supposed to be the priest of a home?
What does a priest do? A priest mediates on behalf of others, He stands in the gap for others behind him.
Now, your husband should be able to stand in the gap for you before God.
I look out for great examples of marriages a lot and there was a day my Pastor’s words struck me like a thunderbolt. He had a dream that wasn’t so good and immediately he woke up, he started praying on behalf of his wife and family.
Would that be possible if he wasn’t a man that knows and loves God?
You say it’s because he is a pastor? No, he wasn’t always a pastor, he is just a man who loves the Lord and that spilled over into his home.

Source @google

Source @google

Now, maybe all men may pray but we all know that not all of them have right standing with God.
Won’t it be great to have a man that you know God answers when he opens his mouth to be head over you?
You know that wherever you are, whatever happens, this man can kabash when need be.


(2) You both are one flesh in every sense of the word.
One flesh in the world of marriage according to God is supposed to be one flesh indeed.
In purpose in Christ, in unity in love and service… You are not one flesh when you are a believer and he isn’t a believer.
Something is fundamentally missing.


He/she can’t get you when you explain the things of God, He/she doesn’t even want to hear those words, He/she can’t understand you when you outline that you have a purpose and ministry in Christ, as far as he is concerned, it’s money first… are you then still one flesh?
Getting married to a believer just as you are will guarantee that you are one flesh indeed, yoked together perfectly in the sight of God.



(3) You get the benefit of having God as your father-in-law.
Now, you cannot marry a son/daughter of the devil and expect to have God as your father-in-law.
A father-in-law has the right to pop in for a visit once in a while or even stay for a long time and he of course has to bring his belongings with him.



Getting married to a believer who loves God at least guarantees you that the third cord holding your marriage together is God. And when God holds your marriage together… when He is your father-in-law, He gives you good gifts, all His attributes, He passes on to your, unity, peace, faithfulness, kindness… and vice versa for satan as your father-in-law, he passes unto you his own attributes.
So choose wisely.



(4) People say cute couples are the sexiest.
You know, the shapely beautiful wife, the well built husband… I say, that’s all great but the sexiest couple to me is one who can worship God in unity together.
Like I said before, I look out for great couples and godly marriages all the time and something struck me in the conference I attended last week…
A very powerful man of God, Pastor Chingtok Ishiaku was invited to speak to us and during worship, I saw his wife kneeling down, worshiping God with all of her heart. And it struck me just how cute that was.




I mean, I don’t have to stand and worship God while my husband looks on and wonders about what I get from tearing up in tears in the presence of God.
I don’t have to start explaining it to Him because he feels it too.
We can be in church/in our family altar and sing out our heart to God. I love worship so you can imagine how big of a deal this is for me.
If you are like me then you get the sexiness of the whole deal that I am talking about.
Marrying a believer guarantees that you don’t have to look like a clown to your better half when the Spirit of God overshadows you during worship…
Why? Because he/she is right there slain in the spirit also, overwhelmed with just a glimpse of the heavenly realm that comes in when we worship.
And imagine the smiles that comes to God’s face when He looks down and sees this couple bonded in Him, kneeling down with hands lifted up together to Him in worship…
You agree with me that it’s just plain sexy right?



(5) The blessedness of not having to worry about his cheating on you.
I know things happen and men/women can fall and all what not, but that’s why you should know how to pray for your man/woman to be strong and overcome temptations.(Back to point 1)
That aside, I believe you know that not even your man/woman’s love for you can keep them from cheating on you?
The only thing that can hold someone from temptation has to be higher than you.
And that is God.
A man/woman who loves God is more concerned about safeguarding his relationship with God because he knows he is empty without God.
You may forgive him, he may forgive you of your infidelity and God will also forgive him but he doesn’t want to risk a breakdown in who he is in Christ.
Let me give you an example. My pastor Nathaniel Bassey is an anointed minister of God. His wife is very, very beautiful but do you think that will stop him when satan comes with temptation? What will stop him is that Spirit and love for God in Him.
His wife doesn’t have to bother her head about whether he is cheating on her when he travels out because she knows that this is a man that guards his relationship with God seriously.
When you marry an unbeliever with nothing but his love for you holding him, anything you see, you accept.


Source @google

Source @google


My esteemed readers and listeners, I would love to go on but I am afraid, my time is almost up.
I will be back again for round two of this debate but I do hope that I have been able to convince and not confuse you to please, make it a point of duty not to tie the knot with an unbeliever. More than these reasons above, a more important one is that, you can’t function in your purpose in Christ if you marry the wrong person.
For those of you who know that God has a lot in store for you, it won’t come to light if you marry wrongly.
See, it will take the grace of God for you to make a turn around if you marry wrongly. Why go through that stress when you can just marry the right person and go right ahead to fulfill God’s purpose for you both without undue rigmarolling?
For more on the purpose of a couple, please read this post.
Thank you for your time sirs and ma’s.
Till I come your way again for the second round, please subscribe for more debates and posts from me by entering your email in the box below and confirm it when you get the confirmation email.



And if you have your own reasons to support this motion, send me a mail with your write up to and I will publish it on the blog.
I remain, Frances Okoro.

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  • Reply
    December 13, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Also not everyone that is not a believer is a ‘douche bag’ and I think that should be where it should be clear because no one will really want to be with a douche bag.. read inthe’s new post? the guy is absolutely a good guy he’s just not a Jesus follower…

    Valid points mentioned. Interesting read 🙂

  • Reply
    Frances Okoro
    December 13, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    Thank you Mfoluwaa for taking the time to tell us(me) your opinion..i really appreciate this, especially on this post, I will love to hear what people think..

    I total agree with you that not every non-believer is a douche bag… I was mostly referring to the liar, cheat and batterer as spelt out there…
    but even thinking about this deeply, maybe, just maybe even the batterer isn’t a douche bag..God can always change and turn him around…

    but for this instance, I dint mean good guy in the sense you meant.

    thanks for bringing the in the post in here,i just checked it out 🙂

  • Reply
    December 13, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    Numerous Christians can testify to the fact that their spiritual lives have been made infinitely more difficult since yoking themselves with those who do not share a commitment to God, to say nothing of
    bringing children into an environment where there are divergent spiritual influences. The fact that some Christians have converted
    their unbelieving mates eventually is wonderful indeed; that circumstance, however, hardly stacks up against the many more instances of disciples who have weakened under such a strain, ultimately abandoning their devotion to the Savior. Which is why many Christians are tempted to date and marry non- Christians. It is possible to have a loving relationship with an unbeliever. But it is also inevitable that such a close connection will draw the believer away from God (1 Corinthians 15:33). Dating or marrying an unbeliever will solve a lot of issues, including loneliness, the African culture’s pressure to marry, and the desire to live life with someone else. But the solution comes with a very high cost. When the single life gets hard, and marrying a non-Christian looks like the only choice, it’s imperative to decide what is most important. If following Christ and serving Him in any circumstance is paramount, the decision is easy—don’t be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14 ); look forward to what God is accomplishing ( Romans 8:28 ); and trust that God’s blessings are better than we can imagine (Ephesians 3:20 ). Choosing to date or marry a non-Christian is rejecting God as a primary influence. It is clearly declaring “God is not enough.” And it may possibly be abandoning God’s plan for a godly relationship He has waiting in the wings.

  • Reply
    December 13, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    And an unbeliver not being a ‘douche bag’ doesnt necessarily mean he is ‘marriageable’. Infact, unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Marriage will impact every aspect of living. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. My pastor says you have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children. Like darling E’ says…MARRY WELL

  • Reply
    Frances Okoro
    December 13, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    I really love your comment Ezar..I so loved it, I read it twice.
    thank you for being so honest with us. truly, I as a single girl haven’t even fully understood the magnitude…just how much who I marry will affect every aspect of my life…
    I am learning, I am listening, I am open to all God is teaching me even through you all around me..hopefully and prayerfully, come what may, God will always be numero uno for me before the choice of a guy. and hopefully also for every single girl/guy out there, we wont buckle under pressure in Jesus name, amen.

  • Reply
    April 19, 2015 at 12:11 am

    very interesting write-up of profound truth…thanks for sharing

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 20, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      Thank you Fadugba!
      And welcome! First time comment on the blog 🙂

  • Reply
    October 7, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    Thumbs up ma’am

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