Dear Sisi Maggie…

This was originally written for Law School 2013/2014 set, the wigs magazine…

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Dear Sisi Maggie,

Sometimes, all I truly want to do when I hear you speak about relationships/marriages is reach out and shake you till your teeth rattles.
How can an elegant educated lady such as you say things like…
“It’s because I am beautiful (outwardly), that’s why they run after me…
I can’t marry a man who does not own a Bugatti; he must earn enough to take care of me…”

 
You think there’s nothing wrong with the above statements?
Ah! Sisi, ever heard of the saying “beauty is vain, charm is deceitful but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised”?
A woman is not truly beautiful till she is as beautiful inside as she is outside. Only then can she truly glow from the inside out.
Don’t be deceived, those make ups on your face would only be as a ring in a pig’s nose if you aren’t beautiful inside.
Your makeup may attract the guys but does it make him stay?
Emeka left you and married Ese, the girl you termed ugly and you bemoaned your fate to your pastor. Did you stop to check yourself? Did you ask yourself what she had that you didn’t have?
Men aren’t fools anymore, the makeup doesn’t faze them.
Here’s what does; Are you godly? Are you kind? Are your words filled with wisdom? Do you spur him on to achieve the best or do you bring him down with words? Do you splurge his earnings on fashion or do you encourage him to invest? Are you rude, bitchy, without an iota of emphathy or hospitable?
Are you a true helpmeet?
Ese didn’t steal your man or even if she did, she didn’t do that with makeup only, she did that with what she possessed inside.
Check yourself!
Are you as beautiful inside as the makeup posits?
What do you have in you?
You say he must have a Bugatti before you can get married to him…
Is a Bugatti what you really need in the man you’ll spend the rest of your life with? What happens when the “Bugatti man” but beats you black and blue every day?
Whatever happened to looking at a man’s passion for God, his vision in life, his being hardworking&excelling in character as criteria to look out for in a husband?
Why are you looking out for JUST the superficial?
That won’t keep your future marital home intact; it’s what he has inside him you have to live with for the rest of your life, not the Bugatti.

You prefer to live on ONLY what he brings to the table? That’s not a bad thing in itself but do you know that dependent women don’t make waves anymore? Who would want to take every ten naira from a man anyway? Do you know how much power that gives him over you?
Women like Mrs Alakija and Biola Alabi liveth; women making waves in their careers with their own cash and with husbands.
Why would you want to feed on only your husband’s cash? The world has evolved beyond that dear.
A real man loves the fact that his woman has a good brain on her shoulders.

I don’t know where you got the above ideas from but sisi, real, godly husbands are not gotten with the criteria you’ve set.
Hop in with a man with vision, not Bugatti and you will go places.

 
I can imagine the men applauding this article; the above does not apply to lazy men, feeding off their women’s cash. You should know that it’s your responsibility to provide for the home. A real man encourages his lady to be the best in the professional world, does not siphon off her cash and is confident enough to let his woman have her own money because he is not a “lay about”, he has his too!

Sisi Maggie, I only hope that this article meets you well and I pray you let the truths sink in. You need to revamp your thoughts about relationships.
Your solid marriage can only be built when the foundation is right.

 
With Love,
Frances.

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