HF NEW Writings Love&Relationships

But Isn’t It Okay That He Stays Chaste ‘Just For Me’?

When I was younger (and I am stilll young! ?) my desires used to be simple. I was okay if a man declared that He wanted to stay chaste and off pre-marital sex just because of me. I mean it would go something like “oh wow, I can do it for you…” and it would flatter me, well because who wouldn’t it flatter that a man is willing to stop sowing his wild oats just so he can have me?

As I grew older though, I began to have a different standard of measurement.

Read the Ephesians 5:25 man.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
-Ephesians 5:25‭-‬27 NKJV

Read Why I made the decision Not To Kiss Before Marriage

One time I had a toaster who wasn’t so chaste himself, desired it and was willing to go with me, albeit some reluctance on not kissing before marriage. The scripture God used to speak to me was the scripture I shared above. He said to me and I paraphrase: “the man I give to you would want to present you to me holy and without blemish. It would be his uppermost desire not just to do it for me but to do it for God”.

You might say: but do those men still exist? But God says that they do. He has them waiting and ready and prepared. What are we to do then?

First we need to shift our minds.

Because we have been so bastardized with the measurements of society, its hard for us to see what the Holy Spirit is showing to us. In every other of his relationships he sleeps with the women but when he comes to you He says, “oh I treasure you so much, I don’t want to sleep with you before marriage so yes I will stay chaste because of you…”
This may seem like such a good plan but you should know that a man convinced against his own opinion is of the same opinion still. What am I saying? I am saying that: that he agrees to stay off pre-marital sex because of you is not the same as agreeing to stay off premarital sex because of God.

What are His values and opinions really?

Does he understand why him himself should walk in purity?

What happens when you leave his life? Does he go back to the deep end?

I’d hate to be the one holding my husband back from sex. I NEED God to be the reason why he is doing what he is doing. That even before and even if I wasnt in the picture, he would stay chaste BECAUSE OF GOD.

I say and write this because there is a subtle subtle difference; it seems like the same thing but it is not. Please let your standards be God’s standards. Please let your measurements be God’s measurements. And pray for your man already, let him have his own encounters with God before you even come into the picture. Your own Man of God and not your man of me.



Please don’t forget that the 21 days PRAISE AND PRAYERS FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND CHALLENGE is currently ongoing on Instagram @HephzibahFrances

If you don’t have the book PRAYERS FOR YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND and want to purchase same please send a mail to okorofrances@gmail.com.

AVAILABLE also on Amazon Kindle and Amazon Paperback.

I also had an online TV interview on relationships, marriage etc and I want you to check it out here:

God bless you and have a great weekend ahead.


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