Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Building A Kingdom Marriage

My dear ladies and gentlemen,
It’s 9:17pm and I just got back home from a little get together at my Pastor’s house – not my real Pastor though, the pastor of a church I attend when I don’t have enough “kudi” to go to my Church.
He announced during the mid week service that he and his wife would be having a little get together at their house and I admit that I went there to get some “rhema” and rhema I did get.
First of all, I was intrigued by him opening up his house to welcome his church members – it seemed like something family would do – which is what we should all be to each other as believers.
But then today we find so many pastors and people who have simply been given roles by God to build His Church up lording it over the sheep God has given to them.
So I was absolutely taken by his gesture – Moreso because it’s the exact kind of gesture/person that I want to be.
I know that there are some of you who won’t stop calling me pastor (side eye to Tope Banks) but really, I’m just a simple girl who God has given a blog as a means to spread forth His Word but even at that, I never ever want to get to the point where I take on “celebrity status”.
Like Frances are you for real?
You are serving God and not only with the words He has given you but with your life also.
I want to be able to say like Paul, I poured out my life as an offering. I loved everyone God gave me an influence over and laboured for them in prayers.
I found this in 1Thessalonians 2.7-8
“As apostles of Christ we certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead we were like children among you. Or we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children. We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.”


I am not there yet but I know that I want to be able to say I loved everyone on this blog, not only by writing words to you but by sharing my life with you as God gave me grace to…


That was the first rhema I got but the second one which actually is the crux of this letter is the fact that the marriage of this man and his wife is reaping fruits for God’s kingdom.
Now here’s the deal…
The Pastor spoke a bit to the workers and the wife made some shawarma and chapman in the kitchen for us (delicious!)
But more than the food, I was drawn to the fact that this man and this woman’s union is indeed reaping fruits for the kingdom of God… and that is the way it should be.
I know that the fact that God has given you someone to have and to hold, to be there for you in every kind of situation is a wonderful thing.
I know that it’s an absolute delight to give birth and hold a mini version of yourself in your arms and all those things are good but guess what?
If your marriage has all those things and reaps nothing for the kingdom of God, of what eternal value is your union in the grand scheme of God’s plans?
Yes, even raising another generation of kids who love God increases the kingdom but what about your marriage with your spouse?
What else has it birthed in the kingdom of God?
If one person could reap awesome fruits for the kingdom, why not much more so for two persons?
I have made up my mind that I don’t want any marriage lesser than one which would further advance God’s kingdom on earth.
Yes, we would love each other crazy, go out and have fun but may we never miss it that our marriage is first of all meant to increase the reach of the kingdom of God on earth.


Now, some couples are called into ministry as we know it – Pastor’s, evangelists, etc.
While some couples are simply called into ministry wherever they are/find themselves. ie, in their work places, in the educational world, in the business sphere…etc.
The important thing is that whatever God has purposed for those couples to do should be done.
No one should be so wrapped up in all the “sweet lovey dovey things” of marriage that they forget that “hold up! Our marriage should be spreading forth the name of God on the earth!”


For the single dearies reading this(like myself), I can tell you that this is a reminder and a lesson for me too.
Everything I write here, sometimes I feel like it’s God’s way of teaching me things and having them set in a permanent form so I can always go back to refresh my memory with them when I am slipping.
For you too, whenever you meet a guy/ a woman and you are tempted to be carried away with feelings – not stopping to think “if my union with this person will actually advance God’s kingdom on earth” – stop, put a pause on it, come back and read this post and get yourself straightened out.
In fact, I pray, for everyone who has read this post, Lord bring these words to our remembrance whenever other little inconsequential things that don’t hold weight with you threaten to drown what is important in your sight…
May the marriages that you shall give to us please you.
May our union with our spouses advance your name on the earth.
May our marriages increase your kingdom even while we are on earth.
And may we not fail to fulfill purpose in you even as couples in Jesus name, amen.


I believe that God has greater in store for us all maritally and it is my earnest desire that this category on this blog isn’t in vain.
That as God teaches us on godly marital wisdom, we will yield, heed and obey.


Till next time on Frances’s Love letters,
P.S – Whoop whoop!
2days to go for the book launch of “Chastity for Men”

Some special persons would actually be getting their copies tomorrow…
Subscribe to get your copy of my first book sitting prettily in your email by monday… yes, it’s for free 🙂


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  • Reply
    July 29, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    No. This blog post cannot be in vain. You really make a point. Welldone

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      July 29, 2015 at 8:04 pm

      Amen and amen Adaolisa, these posts here won’t be in vain, but we will all yield as God tugs on our hearts.
      Thanks sis!

  • Reply
    August 1, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    Hello Frances, I’m new to your blog and i’ve been deeply blessed by your two blog posts i’ve read so far. They’re really relevant to my life right now.

    You’re doing a great work for Christ and I believe i’ve just found another christian blogfam!
    Kudos and more grace to you!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      August 3, 2015 at 4:22 am

      Welcome and welcome! All day, everyday blog fam!
      I’m glad that God’s word here has been relevant to you in awesome ways…
      I pray that whatever has been dropped in your heart, you will yield and obey.
      God bless you!

      Thank you!

      *maybe i’ll do you a personal mail sef(official welcome) 🙂

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