Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

When Your Prayers For A Spouse Becomes An Idol

Dear single ladies and gentlemen,
I always have a smile when I type out that salutation to you all… I just love you all you know?
Some of you have been reading my letters week in, week out since 2013 and some of you just joined us… I don’t know you all, but writing to you gladdens my heart.
I pray that all what God has been teaching us shall not be lost… when the time comes, we shall apply them both in our decisions in choosing a spouse and even in our marriages in Jesus name, amen!

 

So most of you should already know that we have a single ladies group that sprung up last year.
The Women At The Well” group.
God has been and still is amazing with the group… with the Word, with prayers we offer up each weekend, with encouragement, etc. etc.
And as to be expected, one of the things we pray for is our future marriages, husband and children.
Remember this post that calls for a shift from us worrying about our marital destinies and instead channeling our energies into prayers…
I don’t write without practicing it (by God’s grace) and so I was mega glad when prayers as against worries were a central theme on our ladies group.

 

And we have also had discussions where God opened our eyes to the issue of idolizing even the desire for a husband above Him.

 

We had a deep discussion on the group some weeks back where the question “is God enough for you” was a central theme.
If God says that you should remain single for the rest of your life with only Him as your husband, would that be enough for you (you can reflect and answer this on your own).
And then is your prayers for a spouse actually more than your prayers for God to be your everything?
Is your prayers for a spouse more than your prayers for spiritual growth?
Is your prayers for a spouse more than your prayers to be used as an instrument in God’s kingdom?
When you wake up in the morning, do you love the life that you have with God right now or are you tired and itching for marriage?
Is your quiet time with Him filled with more prayers for marriage than just being intimate with Him as Mary was in Luke 10:38?

 

I believe that we usually don’t realize how thin the line is between elevating the gift above the giver.

 

We may not have idols being carved out for us today but even good, sincere prayers for a marriage just may turn out to be an idol.

 

How do you know that your prayers have turned out to be an idol in your life?

 

Well, I outlined some questions above but the bottom line is really… “who do you think about mostly? God or marriage?”
Are you more concerned about what He wants for you as against your desire for a marriage?

 

We must know that this desire for marriage isn’t bad in itself… if God put it in you then He’ll fulfill it… but don’t elevate this desire so much so that you even get mad at the God who put it in you because the marriage hasn’t happened yet.

 

Some of us are at a stage where we are keeping malice with God.
Why?
Because He hasn’t settled us in marriage yet.
But who determines the course of your life?
Isn’t it God?
Did you create the seasons and time of your life?
Can you say what will happen tomorrow or even this evening?
Are our lives not simply vapours that may be here today and gone tomorrow?
The only life we have that is certain is our eternal life given to us in Christ Jesus. Our eternal time with Jesus… thats the only life that is certain if we are God’s own.
So why get mad because a gift that the giver promised hasn’t come yet?
And He hasn’t even said that it won’t come… He only says “at the right time – He makes all things beautiful at His time, not yours”.

 

But one may ask, how can I ensure that this desire doesn’t become an idol in my life?

 

Well, I will share what I do as regards marital stuff in my own life.

 

Anytime it comes to mind about marriage and all, I thank God for it…
For example I simply say “thank you Lord for my marriage and my husband. Thank you for my kids Deborah, Daniel and David. Thank you because the ministering angels are working on bringing my spouse even right now. Thank you because provision for the wedding, etc is provided for…”
I go on like that and go on my merry way.
I am still in tune with my purpose and all I have to do in God in this season right now…
I am still in tune with loving up on God and keeping my relationship with Him strong…
And also in that same breath thanking Him without anxiousness for my marital destiny.
I don’t get anxious about nothing, neither am I totally wrapped up in it that it’s an idol in my life.
Maybe I couldn’t have said same in like 4-5years back but it’s pure bliss where God has led me to right now.

 

 

So evaluate yourself single lady/guy…
Are your prayers for a spouse turning out to be an idol in your life?
Are you still more concerned about sitting at Jesus’ feet, learning of Him and not about when the marriage will happen?
Remember that our Father loves to give us good gifts but He would not give us a gift that we would place above Him.
He – the giver is greater than His gifts.
And when we let things stay this way, we’d be blessed for it.

 

I love you all and look forward to celebrating with you soon as God brings your love story to physical reality.

 

 

Till our next love letter,
Love,
Frances.
PS: I already sent this to our blog subscribers…
The women at the Well” group will be holding her second meet for the year on Saturday April 9th 2016 in Lagos.
If you have read our previous meets HERE and HERE, you should know what a blessing it is.
If you are interested in joining us, send a mail to 4thewomenatthewell@gmail.com
If you aren’t in Lagos but would love to be added to the group, you can also send a mail with your number… new members are added after every meet and I will add you up then.

 

Have a beautiful Easter Celebration everyone!

 

************************

 

UPDATE:

New Book “Prayers for your future husband (Spirit led prayers for the One whose name you don’t know) by Frances Okoro will be our in February 2016.

The book costs 1000 Naira but there’s great news!

If you pre-order on or before January 31st 2017 you get “Prayers for your future husband” eBook FREE along with The Women At The Well upcoming book comprising of four studies titled:

-The List (for a future husband)

-Becoming God’s own kind of woman

-Marriage God’s way

-The character of a godly woman

All for 1500 Naira only!

To pre-order mail 4thewomenatthewell@gmail.com to signify interest.

An account number will be sent to you, pay in and get back to us and get your FREE Ecopy of “prayers for your future husband” and how to pick up TWTW Book!

Start pre-ordering already and tell every lady you know!

Mail 4thewomenatthewell@gmail.com now oh.

31st is just a few weeks away 🙂

 

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5 Comments

  • Reply
    Amaka
    April 11, 2016 at 2:49 am

    Lol. I’m even scared I am not be praying enough for future hubby. Yesterday (Sunday), pastor was praying against enemies of late marriage. And I was relunctant to pray.

    Maybe it’s because I am not so crazy about marriage like before. Choi.

    We will SURELY get married when God finds us ready and prepared. Thanks for writing, Frances.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 15, 2016 at 1:47 am

      You(we) are not worried about marriage because there’s been a SHIFT in perspective Babes… and thank God for that.. but also when we get the urge to pray for “him’, we pray… Lord knows “he” needs it but still this wont be done in desperation… there’s a balance that the Spirit brings to these things, we will walk in that balance.. amen!

  • Reply
    Oma
    November 27, 2016 at 10:58 am

    As in finally, someone sees it my way. Ofcourse, it is great to pray for the One. But I live in the confidence that:
    He is somewhere. God has already provisioned him in His books already. Ps 16:5-6
    When I focus excessively on this husband matter, then there is something wrong with the direction of my gaze. In fact, I pray more that period not for God to bring the man but for God to give me grace to refocus.

    It is HARD though….admitted. I worry sometimes, I even cry in private places. But I have to constantly remind myself that my “husbandlessness” does not take from who God is….so I get up, hold my head up high with the truth as my belt, the word as my sword and my faith as my shield and just fight through life.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 29, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      The world doesnt help matters truly Oma.. which is the reason why like you said, we must focus on Jesus… even in this, when we look sight of Him and His way of doing things, we start to sink.

      I read Atilola’s post on http://www.hattylolla.com/ on what God told her when she was worried about a husband.. live as though he wouldnt never come. throw yourself into what i have for you. worry not. He has got the marital side settled as well as all other parts of our lives too.
      And fellowship with those who understand this truth helps too..

      *Love and love*

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      November 29, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      The world doesn’t help matters truly Oma.. which is the reason why like you said, we must focus on Jesus… even in this, when we look sight of Him and His way of doing things, we start to sink.

      I read Atilola’s post on http://www.hattylolla.com/ on what God told her when she was worried about a husband.. live as though he wouldn’t never come. throw yourself into what i have for you. worry not. He has got the marital side settled as well as all other parts of our lives too.
      And fellowship with those who understand this truth helps too..

      *Love and love*

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