Here’s what I am currently listening to…
I ended 2016 with a desire to see Jesus and Jesus alone revealed in my life.
I felt like I had been drawn so much into trusting the Lord for “testimonies” that I lost track of Him somewhere in there.
Everyone was celebrating how awesome 2016 had gone with new jobs, marriage, cars etc and since I didn’t have these things I almost couldn’t see God.
And it bothered me.
I have said here before that my relationship with God didn’t start based on things.
God has been good to me; I can’t deny that. In 2016 I had no 9-5 job but was rarely ever in need that God didn’t provide sometimes at the very moment.
I knew God as Jehovah Jireh in 2016. I knew He wanted to take care of me as His very own.
But I wanted more.
I wasn’t crying out for money, I was crying out for the promises and dreams He Himself has given me to be birthed.
That’s not such a bad thing right?
But I have discovered that I cannot pursue both things at the same time.
It’s either I am pursuing God or pursuing His promises.
It’s either I am seeking God’s face or seeking God’s hands.
On Sunday night at a worship all night, I felt God telling me to let those dreams die this year.
Because I am like “but Lord you gave me these dreams. I didn’t put them in my heart by myself”.
He wants me to just walk with Him step by step at a time, stay with the seemingly small stuff and let the visions die.
I came across this about two days ago after God asked me to let it die.
“He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.”
And so I was asking Him, couldn’t He reveal both at the same time?
His acts and His deeds at same time and to one person?
Why were they separated?
Truth is, Moses was the one used to perform the acts but Moses Himself wasn’t drawn by them. There was a distinction in the way Moses Himself related with God.
He wanted to KNOW GOD. For nothing else but the fact that HE IS GOD.
I thought and thought about this and then the verse below kept ringing in my heart:
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.Â
He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.Â
Why does the wheat have to die?
I got: the branch may die but the root would remain. It would seem like a dead tree but a branch only has to die so many other branches can arise in its place.
It felt like I was being stingy with His own dream.
He gave it to me and now He says give it back to me. Let it die so I can raise it up in the way that it should be.
Truth is if God brings those visions and dreams to pass, the me that is me isn’t strong enough to carry it.
Whose heart still gets sick when she doesn’t get “things” from God?
What happens when He gives me those things?
Will I still stay in Him?
Will I still pray and serve Him wholeheartedly?
Oh no Lord, I understand.
I would consider 2017 a successful year if my hope and faith in the Lord stays intact regardless of things and “testimonies”.
God has a special kind of relationship with me; I am not allowed to get by with being satisfied with things, He wants me to be satisfied with Him.
Why He does this, I don’t know.
I know I should feel special but it is frustrating sometimes.
But you see, Jesus is my life.
Outside of Jesus, I have no other life.
He drew me because He wanted ME.
I came because I realized that He is IT.
THERE WAS AND IS NO ONE ELSE TO SPEAK OF.
And my Him wants to be the only One I remain in.
He is jealous of me turning my attention even to His own promises to me.
I feel a bit like Abraham felt.
He waited and waited for Isaac, got him and then the master said “kill him!”
What did Abraham go through then?
Did he weep like I did on Sunday night?
Did He ask ‘but Lord what are you doing? You gave him to me!”
But who are we to question the Lord?
He says He wants us TO KNOW HIM.
TO KNOW HIS WAYS.
TO SEEK HIS FACE.
And so I have realized what a successful year for me would be:
It would be one of KNOWING JESUS FOR WHO HE IS.
Outside of things and presents and testimonies and gifts.
The me who loved Him relentlessly in the past had not gotten these visions.
The me I am now know the visions but chose to look away from them and not let them take His place.
He gives us what we ask for.
I am asking to KNOW HIM.
TO COME BACK.
And to once again just be able to say “I LOVE THE LORD” with it not predicated on what He does or does not do.
If I can come back to this post at the end of 2017 and see that I met these goals, then I would know that yes, I had a very great year.
To see Jesus glorified and nothing else.
To walk in only His will for my life and nothing else.
That’s the aim.
Happy New 2017 my darling blog family.
All the Master has for us is what I pray we walk in and nothing else.
The Women At The Well will be releasing her first eBook today.
“Starting Your Year Right (a guide to having a meaningful year). Many of us are confused as to what to do to make our year count.
“The society today encourages us to have aspirations, hopes and dreams. Have a goal and draw out a plan for your life, add scriptures to it and the Lord will do it!
That’s all well and good for others but if you are a redeemed child of the most High God, then you have got to know that God has a plan for your life.
The One who created you has a will for your life â a will that was drawn up even before you came to be.
It’s not your responsibility to draw up that plan for yourself; your responsibility is to surrender to whatever that will may be with the knowledge that it’s way better than anything you can come up with and determine to do that will.”
-Excerpts from the book
This book is simply to help us find out how we can walk in what really counts…
Its not your goals drawn out of the air (bummer?)
I hope this eBook helps change your focus and turn everyone who reads in the right direction – God’s direction.
It will be up latest by12pm today at The Women At The Well Blog.
You can download for FREE at the blog store HERE.
Or keep in touch on Facebook to know when the post for the new eBook goes up.