Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Waiting For The One…

Dear single ladies and men,
Hopefully, you are as strong in body as you are in your soul.

 

Remember the last letter I wrote to you on lessons learnt from when I almost dated an engaged man?
It would seem like a torrent full of men was rained down on me after that post.
I sat one day and got thinking…
Is it any wonder that some godly women and men settle for less than God’s best for them?
The number of wrong toasters who come our way is alarming.
A married man…
A man who still masturbates and watches porn…
A man who’s idea of fun is to drink beer…
A man who says he knows God but can’t teach me nothing about the Word…
Oh, Dr N said in my last letter that that incident was a test.
At some time during the past weeks, I had to stop and talk to God…Is it that I didn’t pass the test?
Why all these additional tests?
I mean, shortly after that post, I met a guy who said he wanted to be just friends…friends again?

When he was always coming around, we were always talking…. This was to be the part two of my post on lessons from almost dating an engaged man, on guarding our hearts (I’ll still put it up next week).
I already knew that I and this “friend” cannot be together, he isn’t the one… So why play with fire?
Giving room for feelings to grow by all the serenre close friendship was just playing with fire because I know that immediately my heart gets involved and he isn’t for me… God will say I should let go again.
It was really overwhelming at a point.
I knew that I couldn’t settle but when my best friend called me and started talking about a certain guy, it became re-emphasized in me.
I can’t settle and you shouldn’t too.
I dropped that call and started crying unto God(Thats how I roll with Him, tell Him everything)
God knows that I am not desperate to be married, I am not in a haste, in fact, sometimes I don’t think I can deal with marriage now(story for another day) but I was asking Him to please help me.
I can’t do this on my own.
I need to wait for His best for me and not be distracted by any of these men around.
I started playing “Juanita Bynum’s-I don’t mind waiting” and prayed and sang and spoke from my heart to God.
Oh, it was a sweet relief to just lay it all bare before God.

 

 

We haven’t had our first virtual prayer here yet and this is a good place to start.
I am not the only lady who’s waiting on God’s best for her, I believe we have single men and women who are waiting on God’s chosen for them.
Men and women who do not want to be swayed by whatever they see and all the options that gets thrown on them each day.
I want us to pray.
I talked to God about this issue(wrote a bit of a letter to Him) and it was a relief.

 

 

So let’s talk to God like our father today…
Pray along with me…
“Daddy, I know that you know what is best for me and I accept that with all my heart.
I want what you want for me too but Lord it gets hard.
The options I see each day are limitless.
I see the married men chasing me.
I see the guy with whom I click so much with chasing me.
We laugh, we joke, we connect but Lord He doesn’t love you like he should and you are first in my life.
I can’t marry a man/woman who doesn’t place you first in his life.
Oh Daddy, it’s so hard to stay away and wait on you but I promise you that I will wait for your chosen for me. I won’t run ahead of you.
Please help me Lord.
Help me to stand firm.
Help me to keep my promise to you Lord, no matter what it may take… No matter how many toasters may look like him… No matter how many guys may look like him, I will wait for you to speak.
Help me to wait on you and wait for him who you have for me.
I love you Daddy.
I love you with all my heart.
I love you forever.
I will wait for your chosen for me.
Just grant me grace to stand firm.
Thank you Lord 🙂 “

 

If you are going through this right now(an overwhelming influx of the wrong guys), you can download and listen to Juanita Bynum’s-I don’t mind waiting. It soothed me when I listened to it.
For everyone reading this, who is waiting on God’s best for them, I pray we never falter.
We will wait patiently for God to act.
We will wait patiently and not give into what we see around.

 

 

I love you all,
Frances.

 

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31 Comments

  • Reply
    graciemama
    January 31, 2015 at 10:14 am

    Awesome….Thanks for this dear. Last year, all the wrong guys for all the wrong reasons were just aoproaching me. I had to cry out to God in December, Why are they all coming to me? I don’t deserve this o… But really, God makes everything beautiful in His Own Time.
    Thanks for this reminder….God bless you dear.

  • Reply
    Nkykate
    January 31, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Hmmm….! Written words can’t express how I’m feeling right now, but I know in my heart what this post has done… God bless you plenty-plenty dear Barr. Frances,

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      January 31, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      God bless you too Nkykate…
      I pray your heart continues to be in the right place..
      *hugs*

  • Reply
    Ewaoluwa
    January 31, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Wow. This is so apt! God bless you dear. Thanks for yielding to God.
    Pls could you send that message by mail to me. My address is opalanaewaoluwa@ymail.com

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      January 31, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      Aite Ewaoluwa.
      It’s a song..i’ll send soonest.

  • Reply
    Frances Okoro
    January 31, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    God certainly does make everything beautiful in His own time..and I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one who’s sincere about such things in prayers to God.
    Thanks Gracie…

  • Reply
    Theresa Doghor
    January 31, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    Hmmm
    It is well.
    I will be discerning and obedient
    and know the right one from the wrong one
    Holy Spirit help
    Amen

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      January 31, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      @Tessa…AMEN.
      Yes, God will help, He surely will 🙂

  • Reply
    Mobolaji Olorisade
    January 31, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Frances! It’s how you always write things I need that makes me love you! My friend introduced me to her fellowship leader today and I told him how I felt I’d give this guy a chance cuz he felt like the one, When he explained so much to me about how my purpose and my man’s own must perfectly align; I started to really rethink! He told me I wouldn’t feel it when the man comes, I’d know it. I asked how, he then asked me how i know I’m born again and I said my spirit tells me. He concluded and said my spirit will then tell me if God approves of any man. Thanks Frances! God help us all!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:19 pm

      Amazing that you had that discussion with your fellowship leader just today Mobolaji…
      God taught me the deal on purpose, I wrote about it in a post here-“the real power couples”.
      The lesson was a great eye opener.
      It’s still the first thing I look out for in a man.

      I also remember standing in front of the court room with my boss last year when the lesson on how I will know the man came in.
      How?
      Deep calls onto deep ofcourse, spirit calls unto spirit…that’s a post for another day…soon.

      I can’t wait for when God will perfect all concerning our marital story. Soon…i’ll scream and be so joyful when I see yours. 🙂
      Much love sis.

  • Reply
    Vicky
    January 31, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Amen, we shall land in the right waters. my sister is a testimony o. finally walking down the isle with the one after plenty look alikes nearly took her.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:23 pm

      Congratulations to your sister Vicky.
      It does pay to wait on God…it does…
      #joyful 🙂

  • Reply
    Gabby
    January 31, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    honestly, i was at this very point 3 weeks back.. I was so confused when all the wrong men where coming my way, they were not just coming, my parents were also involved and almost giving their approval. How will i marry a man i just met last week and not even sure of his stand with God. I wept unto God seriously, laid down at His feet and refused to go until i had an answer. He gave me an answer and within 2 days all those guys stopped contacting me.

    We should just learn to always seek God in all situation. When you see a man who is truly yours, you will definitely have a witness in your spirit.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:25 pm

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us Gabby..
      If there’s one thing that I am certain of, it’s of the fact that we can’t do nothing without God.
      Leaving God out of the decision making process spells danger…
      And I pray for grace for everyone being pressured to stand for what God says no matter what maybe.

      I have no doubt that you won’t be put to shame. You trust in God, and He has promises for that.
      We both know that His promises never fail 🙂

  • Reply
    Highly Favored
    February 1, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Check out this post of somewhat similar experience I had, The title of this post is ‘I Refuse’ http://triumphantorder.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-refuse.html

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:28 pm

      Oh thank you for sharing your post with us Highly favoured.
      I’ve read it and it amazes me how godly women experience on this issue is so similar.lol.
      I refuse to be derailed too..i absolutely refuse!

      #grace for us all 🙂

  • Reply
    Feyi's Dairy
    February 1, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Awwww Frances you are not the only one waiting! I know God makes all things beautiful in His time. “I don’t mind waiting on you Lord!”

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      *I don’t mind waiting…
      I don’t mind waiting…
      I don’t mind waiting…on you Lord”…

      That song brought smiles to my face the morning I played it during this brouhaha matters.lol.
      It was so soothing…
      I’ll wait.
      I’ll wait.
      No matter how long it takes.
      #grace…for us all.

      welcome back to the blogosphere Feyi 🙂

  • Reply
    keke
    February 1, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    I have learnt so much from this post and the comment. God will guide us all when it comes to the one. Plus I am not a strong advocate of looking for the one, stay with God, live within his purpose for you and He all what you need will be added to you. Since I turned 25 years, I can’t hear word again about marriage, mum even tried to lump a guy I was dating down my throat.
    May God’s spirit guide us.
    This issue is a serious one, we should all pray with sincerity.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 1, 2015 at 10:58 pm

      @Keke, after law School, when my mom was so excited about marriage being what was left for me, I calmly sat her down and explained that her daughter isn’t ordinary.
      I don’t just want to marry, God has a plan for my marriage.
      I told her marriage will come but I will not rush it or be in a haste so she should pls tone down her excitement even though I know that she wishes me well.
      That calmed her down and till now, she doesn’t do the gra-gra things again.lol

      I was specifically told by the Spirit during a time of prayer not to do all the “prayers and prayers of when will the spouse come”, God wants me to know that it is settled. He wants me to focus on being the Proverbs 31 woman.
      And at the conference last year, our pastor said “we should focus on being a good enough thing that can be found”.
      Enough said, lessons learnt.

      God has got it all settled, even before we were born, we won’t run ahead of ourselves, all we pray for is #grace….lots of it. 🙂

      And yes, I agree with you that this prayer is a serious one. We should all take heed lest we fall.
      I desire that us all will stand in God’s will for us maritally and not falter no matter what maybe.

  • Reply
    Frances Okoro
    February 1, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    @Keke, after law School, when my mom was so excited about marriage being what was left for me, I calmly sat her down and explained that her daughter isn’t ordinary.
    I don’t just want to marry, God has a plan for my marriage.
    I told her marriage will come but I will not rush it or be in a haste so she should pls tone down her excitement even though I know that she wishes me well.
    That calmed her down and till now, she doesn’t do the gra-gra things again.lol

    I was specifically told by the Spirit during a time of prayer not to do all the “prayers and prayers of when will the spouse come”, God wants me to know that it is settled. He wants me to focus on being the Proverbs 31 woman.
    And at the conference last year, our pastor said “we should focus on being a good enough thing that can be found”.
    Enough said, lessons learnt.

    God has got it all settled, even before we were born, we won’t run ahead of ourselves, all we pray for is #grace….lots of it. 🙂

    And yes, I agree with you that this prayer is a serious one. We should all take heed lest we fall.
    I desire that us all will stand in God’s will for us maritally and not falter no matter what maybe.

  • Reply
    That awesome chic
    February 16, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    I can totally relate..Its just as tho the flood gates for all the wrong men are continually open and then the gate for the right men is just shut completely..It gets so exhausting most times that I just feel like I have to settle..Other times I just want to scream all my pains out..and i”d be like O God make it stop cos I can”t just deal anymore.I feel comforted knowing that I aint the only one going thru this.Thanks Francess please keep these enriching posts coming.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      February 17, 2015 at 10:12 am

      @that awesome chick
      *hugs and hugs*
      I feel like we should have a Christian community on this, we aren’t alone, and we should all know this truth.
      I’m glad this spoke to you.
      *much love*

  • Reply
    Ezy
    March 8, 2015 at 12:18 am

    I know this post is on marriage but i saw it a different way. For me i have been believing God for an idea He gave me 2 years ago. Have been working patiently on it and then a week ago my partner tells me he has finished the major part and will show me. Waited for him to infact still waiting but he hasn’t shown me nothing so i got angry because to me this idea is my way of saying to the world i too have something after all. But waited and he didn’t come through and then i got angry started getting frustrated and doubting it will ever be finished will i ever prove myself. And here comes God asking do you love BizGo more than Me. So i was running faster than God and He wanted to bring me back to where I first started in Him. Remember that version be not anxious of anything but in all things through prayers and thanksgiving make your needs known to God. Most times we forget that God is interested in fulfilling His promises over our lives more than we can ever want it. Because His word is His bond. You can never see Him without it. So Frances i made that prayer with you because am going through a period where all God wants from me is to sleep wake pray study the word, sleep some more and study and pray some more. Study His Word though. Believe me when I say it is harddddddddddddd. Considering i love to really put myself out there. So i made this prayer that God will give me the strength to wait on Him and not try to run faster than Him. I love you Lord sorry if i temporarily tried to run faster than You. Ok this is my Love letter to you. Keep working out what you’re doing in my life just give me the grace to follow. Thanks Frances you’re such a blessing.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      March 8, 2015 at 4:02 pm

      Oh, God bless you too Ezy!

      I think this is the beauty of learning from each other, you just brought out another aspect of this that we all go through at one time or the other.

      Waiting is hard… waiting for anything at all…waiting for God to come through for us is hard… but like you said, God’s Word is His bond. And to everything, there is a time and a season under the sun.
      If He wants you to just #rest and feed yourself with Him and His word, then it maybe painful but will be worth it.
      It means God is building capacity in you to take everything He will be unloading on you soon…

      God bless you Ezy again.
      Your love letter must have brought smiles to God’s lips…
      There’s nothing like coming to a place of total surrender and obedience before God 🙂

  • Reply
    yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com
    March 23, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    Awwwww thanks ever so much for this piece my dear – Im sure you have inspired lots of people. May God grant you and others the desires of your heart, IJN, Amen x

  • Reply
    Ebony
    October 27, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Hello Frances,

    I am a first time visitor to your blog. I stumbled on your blog through your comment on a friend’s blog. I am so blessed I listened to the prompting in my spirit to check your blog out.

    You see, I am 27 and single. In fact, I haven’t seriously dated a lot of people because I am obsessed with doing relationship right- doing it God’s way. I am a virgin and I intend to keep it that way till I marry.

    But it’s tough girl! It’s very hard in this age and time to do relationship 100% God’s way without compromise. Most church guys agree to do godly relationships till they begin to pressure me into sex. Of course I always say no but that is often the end of the budding relationship.

    Reading your post and praying this prayer has strengthened my faith and resolve to do do relationship God’s way. I know there is a godly loving out there for me and God will bring him in His time. Meanwhile, I am spending my single life living out my purpose and enjoying my life.

    God bless you sister girl! God bless you!!!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      October 29, 2015 at 8:49 am

      Awwww Ebony…
      When I wrote this post at the beginning of the year, I dreamt of having just like a round table of sisters supportive of each other on their marital journey in Christ.
      I didn’t do anything about it but I am glad to see that still, this post gives strength to as many who read it.

      I have found out that God wants us to be satisfied in Him and that will we do with our single lives by His grace.
      His word never lies and as we seek to honour Him with our marital choices, He will honour us too… for now, we have a life to live in Him, one where we can be ABSOLUTELY devoted to Him and that’s a big plus for the kingdom.

      And itss sooo great to meet you, albeit online.lol.
      Hope we get to see you more and more on the blog fam here 🙂

  • Reply
    cutedamsel
    August 16, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    I so love this write up,God bless you , I thought I was the only one experiencing wrong guys sydrome including the married like a loss pipe with no control. Happy I saw this post and I love the prayer.well done

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      August 17, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      You are not alone Cutedamsel..lol

      And you are also not alone in holding on to God and waiting, not giving into wrong choices.
      God help us all to stand firm and not settle for less than His best for us in Jesus name, amen.

      And Welcome to the blog dear 🙂

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