Chastity For Men Project (Series) Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Peter Abraham: I Overcame Masturbation By God’s Divine Grace

Dear friends,

Thank you for your response to the #ChastityForMenSeries so far.

We have had Christians willing to come out to talk about their own journey on sexual chastity and also, prayerfully, helping others to walk in the freedom that Christ has given us over lust. And that’s just on this blog, I imagine that when the eBook comes out, even more lives will have access to this resource.

Today, we have a non-anonymous brother sharing with us on his bondage with masturbation and ultimately, how God’s grace led him out of it.

He is  a pastor at my  youth Church at Lagos and I have personally heard his testimony (oh, we need more men who will be open with their testimonies…but I digress)

Just read his story for yourself below….

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Masturbation is a problem of the mind, it sits in a man’s heart, becomes the person’s god and master.

A lot of the time the victim does not know that he is being tormented by something supernatural. Years back (10years ago) I was held up in the web of Masturbation (self gratification) which crept in subtly until it had a full grip on me. I can’t go into the jurisprudence of my experience which I consider a subject of another discuss, I will only talk about some of the things I consider as the window that led me into this bondage.

(1) Environment: This played a great role in what happened to me. I grew up in the barracks which exposed me to different kinds of persons and experience. I had to run errands for my parents and in the process, stumble on neighbours watching movies with Adult content and sometimes see some of them in the act and because they feel that this is a small boy, the girls either don’t bother to cover themselves leaving their bodies bare as they attend to me or continue in the act and not pay attention to who it is that is around. Some of the Women Police officers who were not married will then touch my private parts and tell me things they would have done with me if I was older. These were seeds that were being sowed in my mind and unknown to me that will later lead me into a deep mess.

 

(2) Friends and Peers: The kind of friends I had in school were those from the privileged class who had access to the internet and different kinds of TV station at home. They came to school with magazines with adult contents, tell us stories of movies they watched, the different kinds of sex positions that were acted, speak in raw languages and tell us stories about their elder brothers or sisters they caught in the room having sex. As innocent as I was, I began to imagine things.

 

Because I come from a Pastor’s home and the high level of morality my Dad tried to uphold in the family, I couldn’t discuss these issues with either him or any of my elder ones for fear of being punished or my movement restricted. I can”t remember my Father mention the word sex, sex abuse or even giving us sex education.

I continued in this, being abused by my environment and gradually influenced by peers and people around me until I began to think of it, imagine it and crave to be in the very act. Because there was nobody who could help that knew what I was going through, I began visiting friends to watch pornographic movies and magazines since I couldn’t bring it home because of who my father is, and the fear of being caught. Then, I started buying the movies and magazines myself but will watch them in my friends house whose father was almost always out of the house on special patrol.
Then my friend asked me one day if I had developed sperm. The question came to me as a shock because I didn’t even know what it is except for the word I heard in my health science classes. He then told me I could check using Vaseline like we watched in those porn movies.

And that is how it all began….
The experience is such that you know it is wrong but you can’t help it.
I tried everything possible to stop it, I thought I had a strong will and that if I make up my mind to stop a thing, I will stop it, until I fell into the claws of masturbation.
I will do it, then hate myself and then do it again and hate myself and over and over and over.
I knew I was in bondage but I needed someone to show me the way out. I knew it was killing me but I couldn’t stop it.
I was committed in church, was even a department head then but living in this bondage.
How I stopped…

How I stopped was nothing short of divine grace. Not by power, not by might but by the grace of God.
I went to church one day and while the service was on, a young well shaped lady sat in front of me and as usual I was busy fantasizing and undressing her in my mind when I heard a voice, I can’t really say if it was someone that whispered it to my ears or it was the Pastor that spoke but I heard this voice that said ” this breast you are looking at is nothing but baby’s food and this bum bum is what she uses in the toilet.”

Immediately, it stopped looking attractive to me but started irritating me. After church, I stepped out of church and was walking back home then I saw this very old woman walking on the road and when she drew nearer, I noticed that everything that was standing and looking attractive on that young lady had fallen and was looking unattractive on this old woman.

Then the Holy spirit said to me. “I spoke to you earlier and now I am speaking to you again. The grass withers, the flowers fade but the word of the Lord stands sure. Everything your eyes lust for now will one day perish but what shall it profit you, to yield to the flesh and lose your soul.” Short and simple he saved me there and then.
Advice…
If you are in this mess and I know you will say I didn’t know how it got this bad. The Holy Spirit can help you out. There is no medication that can help you out, in fact, no Pastor can help you out, he can pray for you but the Holy Spirit is the one that can take the urges away.
Open up to him, He will help you.

 

Shalom.
Pastor Peter Abraham.

Pitasabraham@yahoo.com

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Oh, there are so many lessons to pick out from Brother Peter’s story, so much so that I don’t know where t start from.

But first of all, can we please be more open about sex with our kids(for the future for myself too)

Its doesn’t make us more spiritual to never talk about sex education with them.

If no one teaches them the right thing, then they will surely learn the wrong things.

Please, because this bondage with lust mostly starts from childhood. We get access to stuff we shouldn’t have and keep feeding our minds on them. Of course, what happens is that we act out what we take into our hearts.

The bondage of masturbation and lust isn’t natural and it will take a supernatural power – God to set you loose from it.

If you have been trying to be set free by your own power, just stop that right now, it wont work.

Go back to God and surrender totally, let Him help you in the way that only Him can do.

If you need a hand to walk you through your struggles, you can get in touch with Brother Peter via his email above.

He will be glad to encourage you and serve as a accountability partner for you.

You can also read all posts on the series here and expect the eBook to go live soon by God’s grace. It will have some additional stuff that I wont be able to run on the series on the blog and will prayerfully bless lives and help souls in living forth purity in Christ.

You can please subscribe to blog via email below to get the free book “Chastity for Men” and updates from the blog…

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And till our next #ChastityForMen post,

Keep walking in the Spirit.

 

Love,

Frances.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    keke
    April 18, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    This is powerful. I pray for all men and women suffering from masturbation and I also thank God it is something that I don’t have to deal with except of course from the occasional lustful desire in my heart from exposure to the inevitable realities of social media, TV and every visuals around us. To be honest, it is discpline of the Holy spirit’s prompts and rebuke that saves me every time to pray and use the teachings I learnt in church.
    Recognise – the habit, sin, causes etc
    Reject – talk to yourself, reject it, condemn it and pray against it
    Replace – with a positive, back up with a scripture and hold on to it.

    I hope that helps.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 18, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      Yes it helps Keke…
      The removal addiction should be replaced by something else and the Word is a very good replacement.

      I thank God for you…may you continue to live in purity in Christ as He helps you to be pure in Him.

  • Reply
    gabby
    April 21, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    I have been having a leading in my spirit to share my sextimony (testimony), still praying for courage to do so. The truth is we all know the struggle.. It takes grace to stay free from sexual sins..

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      April 25, 2015 at 1:37 am

      Oh ab, do please share..
      sextimonies give others the freedom to revel In what God can also do for them,help another see light in their struggles too.
      God bless you.

  • Reply
    vicky
    July 11, 2015 at 8:58 am

    Wow, i learnt a lot. Been wonderin how dis whole masturbatn thing works. Wantd to try it while in sec sch bt it felt stupid so i didnt go thru wit it. Thank God 4 God. I pray odas struglin wit it get thru wit it in Jesus name, Amen

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      July 14, 2015 at 5:37 pm

      Hey Vicky, I bless God for your life that you weren’t roped in it…
      Please continue to pray even for those that will read the chastity for men book when it’s out.
      God will help them and give them a clean slate….He can and He will!
      #He did it for me…

  • Reply
    McKenzie
    July 30, 2015 at 9:36 am

    I wasn’t just roped into it but I took it international I mean I really had it to a point I was never had erections before i do it, then i realized all wasnt really well with me but then I complained n’ lamented and did it over again, prayed a couple of times too but cut the chase I just regret these years I’ve been down the line… By God’s special grace n’ mercy I’ve given up on masturbation and smoking with lasted for over a decade. I just pray that God touches every heart that has been hell-bound with such wrong things (sin) of every kind. I’m testifying my freedom n’ liberty to the glory of God, and I pray it stays permanent in my life. IJN, amen!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      July 30, 2015 at 10:20 pm

      Oh Mckenzie, I did you a mail…I celebrate with you bro. your testimony is amazing!
      And yes, with your testimony, your overcoming all issues is done, God is faithful and will keep you in Him..in holiness and keep your heart, soul and body blameless in Him.
      I bless God for you!

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