Frances's Love Letters Love&Relationships

Another Way Of Knowing God’s Will About A Potential Spouse

Dear lovers of Frances’s love letters,
I hope this letter meets you well.
For me, as at the time of writing this letter, I am well and mighty grateful to God.
I’ve been singing a certain song in my heart too, let me share the words on here…
I bless your name Lord, your plans for me are always, always good…”

Yes, God is awesome!
Like I wrote in our last love letter, He is worthy to be praised, not just for what He has planned for us maritally, but also for everyone that He doesn’t have for us maritally.
I’ve had people who tell me that I speak about God like He is sitting on the chair close to me or like I can see Him physically.
I remember a fellow corper asking me “Frances, you speak of God like this, does God speak to you back? Has He spoken to you today?”
I replied and told Him, “ofcourse, God always speaks.”
For me, He speaks to me in my inner man. Sometimes, I just have reoccurring words and instructions inside of me.
He speaks to me through His Word. Most of the Bible Studies on my blog are written through that method. I just suddenly have a particular passage ringing in me, I check it up and then it’s a floodgate of lessons, some relating to things I am going through per time, and some relating to things I may not even have gone through yet but somehow in the days to come, the Word comes in handy.
And then another way that I’ve realized that God speaks to us is through circumstances.
Now, there are times when I want to know God’s will concerning a certain matter, in this instance, concerning a potential spouse.
I pray and pray and then wait for that still small voice to speak to me but somehow, I hear nothing. Probably because I am all tensed up and afraid of the answer.
But I keep praying anyway.
And then suddenly, it seems like I have gotten an answer in my spirit. I am happy and feel like I have gotten a go-ahead about that certain someone.
But guess what I do?
I still don’t go ahead yet.
Why?
Because in the matters of the heart, our flesh all too often wants to hear what it wants to hear and sometimes miss God.
So no matter what I hear, I keep my heart praying and my eyes watching(inthe’s words)
And then it happens, more often than not, stuff just happen out of the blues.
Stuffs like what happened in red lips story.

Somehow, a quarrel springs up that should mean nothing but just makes me see into the character of the potential spouse.
Somehow he does something that just doesn’t align with what the word says concerning a marital spouse.
Somehow, his true actions and not his words show through.
Now, some may say that these things are coincedences but let me give you guys my experience about that.
Recently, this surreal experience happened to me but I was still in doubt as to whether I did the right thing or not.
I told my friend that I followed what the Word of God said concerning it but I still don’t know if I did the right thing.
She assured me that the Word of God is the greatest compass to follow and I was reassured.
But guess what?
It just seemed like God was reading our conversation and the very next day, something just happened that made me know that “Frances, you made the very right decision, no going back now”
I mean, it was surreal.
You know when something happens to you and you are like “was God reading my messages, was He reading my mind?”
But of course He is.
Psalm 139 says He knows us inside and outside, He knows what we are going to say even before we say it.
So what did He do in this instance?
He had given me His Word and I was still in doubt and then He spoke through the circumstances surrounding the situation.
He made the RED DANGER SIGN so clear, so much so that there was no more doubt in my heart.
Some of us are praying about the will of God concerning that potential spouse and we say God hasn’t spoken to us concerning him/her.
These days, I am learning to chill.
My bestie and Pastor Nathaniel Bassey told me something, they said God always speaks, just chill, is it not God?
If He doesn’t speak to your heart/through His word, He will speak through the circumstances, a certain check and red sign will suddenly become so glaring to you.
A red sign that contradicts with the Word of God in its entirety.
The reason why people make mistakes is that they refuse to heed to these red danger signs that God uses to speak to them.
He says he is godly but is lax with presenting your body as holy and pure to God(Ephesians 5:25) how then can he be God’s chosen for you?
He doesn’t make your relationship with God better, instead you are far away from God now in contrast with before you met him, how can he be the one for you?
She hasn’t improved you in any way since you met her, you have no peace about it all, how can she be God’s chosen for you?
Oh dears, we have to learn to read the red danger signals.
You might not hear an audible voice in answer to your prayers about that relationship but God always speaks.
He does speak.
When this recent stuff happened to me, I felt like shouting on the rooftop, “prayers work! God is guiding my footsteps! How did He know? Was He reading my chat with my friend? Oh my God, thank you for direction”
No need for me to rigmarole again, you know when the circumstance is an answer to prayer, you just know.
My letter to you today will simply end with, follow God’s voice.
Follow the Word.
No matter what you are seeing/hearing in your head, the Word is the greatest compass there is. The leading will align with the Word.
And if you are still in doubt, watch the circumstances.
God always speaks.
Somehow He will make the true actions of that potential spouse shine through.
Remember by their fruits we shall know them?
He will just make those fruits so visible to you so you know what’s up.
Either ways, God always speak concerning our marital choices especially if you have given that aspect of your life over to Him(I am so glad I did!)
I will end with words from my bestie, what she used to round up our discussion on this issue…
That’s God’s way of speaking to you and directing you. He wouldn’t let you go into the wrong relationship without a sign or warning. Its good you’re listening cos God is already speaking.
I join you to celebrate my dear, we cannot miss it in marriage, we are God’s special ladies, too loaded to be frustrated in marriage.
Don’t worry, I just have this conviction in my Spirit that our marriages would be great. We shall settle with great men that truly fear and love the Lord. I’m so sure of this”

Uhm, if you are a man reading this, just replace the man with woman 🙂

And just as an aside can I say how awesome it is to have godly friends?
Like friends that just get you and get God too?
Friends that you know can talk about boys, be real but also know that even in that aspect God rules all?
Ok, let me not rave and rave about my friends.
I don’t have much, but the two besties I have, I cherish them like crazy.
Words like the above are part of the reason why I do.
They are just awesome, just awesome!

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And of course I think I ended up sharing lessons in this letter aside from knowing God’s will about a potential spouse.
I am interested in hearing from you, what spoke to your heart as you read along?
Do share with me in your reply to my letter in the comment section below.
And subscribe to blog via email in the box below

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We’ll meet up again right here next week by God’s grace.
Love,
Frances.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Akharaiyi Jefferson
    May 23, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    I have read so many of your articles and letters and I must commend you for the great insight God has given you.
    I think God is always using your letters to address the very situations I find myself in. Like this particular one, I have been finding it hard to conclude if I am in the right relationship with the right person. I’ve seen so many negative signs that would have made me quit the relationship a long time ago but because those signs doesn’t agree with what my canal flesh want to see, I often tell myself that I can work things out with this person no matter how bad it gets. A terrible lie I just noticed I have been telling myself. Marriage really is not meant to be endured, it is meant to be enjoyed.
    Thank you once more for the great solutions I always get to my questions.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      May 23, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      Oh Jefferson, God bless you and grace you as you yield to His voice.
      As you heed to His answer and follow through on His will concerning your relationships, you will not miss it.

      I bless God that these letters always speak to you.
      Thank God…sincerely, i’m just thankful.

      As we let God take charge of relationship/marital stories, He will definitely let us down..

  • Reply
    graciemama
    May 23, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    God bless you Frances dear. I’m always glad when I get your blog post alert. I’ve never been in a relationship before and it seems weird to others. They say I’m too picky. I don’t care at all.
    All the time, there’s always a red flag that God shows me. even when i like a guy that badly, I just lose my peace or confusion just sets in. God is not the author of confusion. When a guy starts asking me out and even before then, I start talking to God about it and truly God speaks. Sometimes we may not like God’s response but He sure has the best for us. I nearly ended up in one but I just knew i had lost my peace but God saved me. I would have been an emotional wreck by now.
    Recently, I’ve been in search for an apartment and for every new one i find to rent with a very good deal, i just lose my peace. Desperation nearly set in but when I found the right one, I was at peace and everything just fell into place. The red flags of the other ones I checked earlier came to bare after on and I’m glad I followed God’s leading. My new home is the best thing after sliced bread….lol!
    God truly speaks to us in many ways. We don’t have to hear His Voice like Moses and Samuel before we know He is speaking.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      May 23, 2015 at 8:53 pm

      Oh Gracie..its not weird that you’ve never been in a relationship oh, that’s God saving you from unnecessary time wasting jare.
      When He says yes, ofcourse you can go on.
      I should write on this being picky soon sef.

      Yes God speaks, in every thing..if we will listen to His voice/for His voice, we will see Him in everything….

  • Reply
    Princess Okechukwu
    May 25, 2015 at 3:00 am

    The will of God!!!

    Another way we can know the will of God maritally, can be known if there are personal convictions from God, that the other doesn’t share with you, then we know, he/she isn’t the one.

    I believe there are specific things that God may require of a person that may not necessarily be required of another, but if God has revealed to you that this is what/how I want ‘this’ in your relationship, then your partner has to share the same conviction (from God)

    Valuing the same personal convictions is very key. [my 2cents]

    Stay blessed, Frances! More of God’s grace and insight. Lots of love!

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      May 25, 2015 at 10:24 pm

      As in Princess, you just hit the nail on the head.
      Some of you guys comments on this blog eh, how una take dey “see” these things? Lol

      Seriously, what you mentioned was something that happened to me recently. A personal conviction that the other doesn’t share, two cannot walk together except they be agreed can they?
      No.

      Thank you for sharing this sis..

  • Reply
    t4temi
    May 28, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Ello bae…yes, u’r a bae!!….God is real…..u r one of the people letting the world know that indeed, God is real. My spirit jx kept afreeing with everything you wrote in this post……most times when I pray about a potential spouse, God wont even bother speaking to me….He addresses the situation immediately……..suddenly the person could be overly possessive…playfully violent and I know that it is red sign. There is a knowing….infact, most times, these guys cant really explain why they did what they did….but I know that’s Baba God showing me the true situation of things. Isn’t He jx wonderful? One time, my ex attempted to strangle me playfully bcos I contradicted what he said and even though it was the firat time he wuld do such a thing in almost 2 years…I knew it was a grave mistake…..dont let me say plenty story…..keep writing these thingsu’rr writing….God will definitely reward your labour of love.Thanks.

    • Reply
      Frances Okoro
      May 28, 2015 at 6:29 pm

      Hiya Temi!
      Was reading your comment, got to where you said “God sometimes doesn’t even bother with speaking to you/answer you, but does so with actions”

      Hehe, I got there and was thinking, I can imagine God saying “err actions speak louder than words, let me show her, that will get her attention faster”

      Boss God yes!
      He always guides us..always.

      Thanks so much for your words of encouragement…by God’s grace, I will keep writing as God shows me and grants me grace.

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