So technically, I am not 25 yet. I will be 25 in September but I am also not quite 24 right? And 25 just sounds better even though I am wondering how I am 25 so soon! I still remember when I was 16!
I was going to base today’s letter on something else but I just got up from my prayer time (I am writing this at 01:51am. (Yes Black I see you Â snickering at me, I don’t have insomnia 🙂
I was in the bathroom just now when this post came to me…
It has come to my notice that my favorite place to be is not at a date with any man…
My favorite place to be is on the floor before God, worshiping my heart out, praising Him or just being silent or just pouring my heart out to Him in tears. Where I am the most comfortable and satisfied is at my dates with Jesus.
Jesus makes me so happy… scrap that… He makes me so joyful, its unreal.
I mean, see what just one 30 minutes or 1 hour with Him can do to me.
And it is not that I do not desire to have a man/get married, as a matter of fact, that is something I have chats with God on maybe almost everyday. Recently my heart has become so inexplicably tender towards marriage/motherhood and I don’t know why so I talk to God about it.
My desire for an earthly marriage/home is still intact but then also my place with God is even much more intact.
What do I mean?
It is hard to put this into words.
What I am trying to say is that I have found Him in whom my heart rests and delights in.
My desire for a physical husband can never trump my desire for Jesus my husband â my redeemer (Isaiah 54:5).
I walk into His presence dry, tired and weary and I walk out energized and revved up.
I run into my hiding place sad and almost depressed and once I am in His arms He fills me up and has me laughing in the Holy Ghost.
Jesus satisfies me.
He fills my empty places.
So yes, I look with longing at some wedding pictures on social media but when I am with Him and in the presence all the longing for everything else fades away but Him.
Indeed like He told the woman at the well, He can give water that can never make one thirst ever again… water that will keep springing unto eternal life.
How did I get here Lord?
How did you get me to this place where my soul sings to you?
I don’t know but whatever you did, it worked and I love it!
Thank you for loving me!
Thank you for filling me up to overflowing.
Thank you or being the One who refreshes me.
Thank you for teaching me that with you I have all that I need and whatever you add to me is not done because it is a substitute for you but because you are a good good father who simply loves to give good gifts.
I just want to say that Daddy, I love the way you love me, and I love the way you have opened the way for me to love you right back, so much so that i don’t have any empty places peeking out of me, begging to be filled.
Pour out more of yourself on me Lord, I can take it. I want it. I want you.
And when we are all done, just give me you over and over again. My flesh may cry that you are not enough but we both know the truth. You are enough for me. You fill up every part of me. You heal the scars from years ago. You wipe the tears of today. You calm the fears of tomorrow.
When I am 30 or 80.
With him who you have ordained for me to do the earthly race with, still, may your place never be toppled in my heart.
You complete me Jesus.
Thank you Lord!
My heart beats for singles trying to please God while their hearts go on a state of frenzy every timeÂ they see wedding pictures on social media.
My heart beats for those who have all but called God unfaithful and abandoned Him because of the lack of a husband. Perhaps God wants to give you something even more than a husband in this season. Perhaps He wants to give you Himself. You can walk with Him in the fullness of joy and peace even while single. Yes you can.
This girl is a 360 degrees turn from the girl who didn’t want to leave a relationship even though it wasÂ bad for her.
I will try to share on how I got here where I stand with God.
If you have any specific questions you want me to address, feel free to comment with them below or mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I love you all,